I began my journey playing with leaves, pushing them out of my own yard and into the neighbor's. The neighbor became angry, and he demanded that I clean up his yard as well. He watched from his front porch, smug and self-satisfied as I began the task of blowing the leaves off of his lawn. He popped open a beer, laughing to himself that I was doing his yardwork while he lounged idly like the lazy schmuck he is.

But what he did not know is that it was no punishment for me. I did not mind the work. Blowing leaves was slowly becoming my obsession.

After Lazy Dude's yard was clear, I moved on to the next target. Every leaf had to be blown away. Every leaf. Everywhere. It was my duty, my calling. Blowing leaves was now my life.

It was an enjoyable but lonely journey. I found myself aching for companionship. To aid me in my quest, I formed a relationship with a cute little roomba and rigged it to blow instead of suck. I named the roomba Steve. Steve became my loyal leaf blowing partner.

You may think this story has a fairytale ending, with Steve and I blowing every leaf off the planet. Well, if you think our story ends there, you are sorely mistaken. I can't tell you where we are now, Earthling. Steve and I have moved on to realms that your simple mind cannot comprehend.

Just know that we have each other and we are together. There is still a lot of work ahead of us, and our journey is far from over. I don't know where we are going next. But for once in my life, I am happy. I am finally where I was always meant to be:

Blowing.

good

Eh... music could use some work...