Tips for calming down and not lashing out?

[CrimbleBimble]

I'm a bit of an impatient ♥♥♥♥ who has a wee bit of a short temper when it comes to gaming a bit, and I want to continue trying to break the habit of being overly toxic in my etiquette.

[echo_ML]

Watch this man's videos every morning: https://youtube.com/@kingmisty?si=yvu-ONKjZbu1uXqu

It might not be the kind of answer you're looking for, but his calm personality genuinely helped me be more chill in gaming and IRL.

[LittleEtherKitty]

Another way is find something to release your anger on. A good option is a punching bag or going for a jog when you get worked up.

[DonJuanDoja]

Read the book Healing the Angry Brain. Then read it again. And probably a 3rd time.

It's not some sunshine pushing positive self help book, it's science based, practical methods and the guy that wrote it has been helping people solve anger for a long time, people that are court ordered to take anger management.

The book basically breaks down how anger works in the brain, and the impact it can have on you, first you'll gain a full understanding of anger and how it's triggered. Then he'll lay out practical methods of mitigating it.

It's not a very long book either, just a couple hundred pages

[Darth Invader]

I used to be the same way man. I used to send hatemails.

Then one day, I saw hatemails being showcased on Youtube, and I realized how stupid it was.

So I don't send hatemails anymore.

As far as the game itself goes, just remember, these games are a marathon, not a sprint.

If you're used to going in guns blazing and curb-stomping every enemy you see, you'll struggle with these games (souls-likes). Just take your time, chip away little by little, and remember, you can always go back through areas and level up.

Good luck.

[i have 2026 vision fear me]

Well i am one too, and eventually i got better, i still sometimes get tilted and frustrated as anyone would, but generally, deep breaths can help. Also lack of sleep, tiredness and not eating well does affect frustration and tends to make at least me, much more prone to getting tilted and annoyed. The other one is to progressively change your mindset too. Instead of "man thats ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" "how'd i die to that" "*autistic grumbles attempting to be a mimicry of the boss's actions*" etc, try to think or say more like "alright i got that done, and after that attack they do this, so i'll do that now", "that was close, but i've got that attack down", "i do not know how to dodge this attack but i'll try jumping, rolling at different times, or running away to see what works".

For me my ego used to cause a lot of my frustration too, causing me to think that i'm great at the game automatically and then i get frustrated when that's not the case (which is often), took some time but i'm getting better at it.

All in all i don't think there's any direct and easy solution, it's a culmination of many factors that you might need to focus on. In my opinion, our behaviour and thoughts are affected multiplicatively, not additively.

I of course do not know you, and you know yourself best, so if you do sleep well, eat well, go outside enough for walks and to be a sunflower once in a while to absorb some vitamin D, then maybe it is your mindset that needs to be changed, so focus on that. Or maybe it might be the former factors instead of the latter.

[Toast]

If games are making you angry, there’s other stuff going on that you got to figure out. Go to the gym, join an mma school. Read some
Books. Robert Greene is a good start. Laws of Human Nature is a banger.

[CrimbleBimble]

Originally posted by Toast:

If games are making you angry, there’s other stuff going on that you got to figure out. Go to the gym, join an mma school. Read some
Books. Robert Greene is a good start. Laws of Human Nature is a banger.

It isn't so much the games themselves that piss me off, its the other players in the PvP component. Still, physical exercise is an option

[Travis Touchdown]

When I was an angry gamer, it was a lot of ego and a lot of being frustrated by other things in my life.

The ego bit was because I subconsciously tied a lot of my self-worth to being good at video games and when I didn't have success, when I wasn't performing well, it absolutely ruined my mental because my ego couldn't take the idea of being bad at the thing I prided myself on. I'd constantly kick myself whenever I lost in PvP games with stuff like, "it's not that the other guy is good, it's just that I'm bad."

I snapped out of it when I got to college and realized that there were so many other things I could invest my time and effort into; games just stopped being a foundational part of my self-worth and I could no longer muster the energy to be really angry at them anymore. I still get a bit sweaty and will push harder if I'm frustrated, but if it gets to the point where I'm angry, I usually just disengage and go do something else.

All the introspective stuff other people in the thread have suggested are good ideas. And remember that it's a process; you won't instantly convince yourself to no longer be angry. Instead, you'll find that one day you realize that in a moment when you would have previously gotten angry, you just aren't. And it's really nice.

[The Sylvan Learning Center]

Try to join a sumo club in your college. The feeling you get aggressively pressing your body against another man's while you both are wearing diapers...the stomping and rapid slap moves.... and the attention you get from people out of the ring..... You won't care as much about losing in PVP video games.

[1100011]

How is a thread on agression the most wholesome discussion I've seen in a long time on here? Seriously impressed

[CrimbleBimble]

Originally posted by 1100011:

How is a thread on agression the most wholesome discussion I've seen in a long time on here? Seriously impressed :praisesun:

I feel like its just my split feelings that leave me conflicted. On one hand I want to keep participating in PvP knowing that there are LEGIT respectable players out there are unfortunately -- at least in my knowledge -- overshadowed by the cancerous players that I -- in my ego -- foolishly allow to get under my skin.

Like... Its very, VERY easy for me to get overly worked up in something like this; ik it's just a game and I shouldn't set my expectations for winning extraordinarily high but this is like one of the only things that's given me a lotta interest lately.

Other games I wanted to try and play like Helldivers 2 have already gone sour due to its own dev team and community managers mishandling it and nerfing the enjoyment of it into the ♥♥♥♥♥♥' ground, and mind you, that is solely a PvE CoOp game. What is Arrowhead doing making "balance" patches in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ PvE game???? but I digress.