Why Garfield Kart is so much better than Elden Ring

[inpurpleshadows]

A few weeks ago, I attempted to share the word of garf with the players of Elden Ring, but the Nermal agents running this forum deleted my post and ultimately banned me from the forums. It was an incredibly sad experience and I'm still recovering from this tragic event. Thankfully, I have now gained the courage to say why the masterpiece known as Garfield Kart is infinitely better than the mid woke trash that is Elden Ring.

First of all, the "difficulty" in Elden Ring is incredibly artificial. Many of the bosses were poorly-designed and I could easily cheese them because I'm a h4rdc0re pr0 g@m3r with 3p1c 360 n0-sc0p3 sk!llz. And most of the gameplay isn't even fun, it's just walking which is too boring from my skibidi ohio rizz brain. Garfield Kart, on the other hand, is practically flawless in terms of gameplay. The difficulty is balanced, appealing to both casuals and hardcore gamers alike. The learning curve is so well-designed, that I have yet to master G4rf13ld K@rt. I can't say the same for Elden Ring (more like Elden Mid), it was $o ea5y, I beat it in less than two hours which is good because I could refund this woke garbage and instead spend my money on something more important, like buying my 23rd copy of Jarphielt Card. Additionally, the graphics in Elden Ring look worse than that one Microsoft Paint Christmas special, I've taken dumps that look more appealing. I would rather eat the rotten ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer. Gorfeuld Kirt's visuals are breathtaking and so realistic you'll forget you're playing a video game. Finally, the music in Elden Ring is boring, I've had more fun listening to K-Pop. I can't even call it "music" because there's no energy, no melody, not even a catchy beat, it's ambient which is SO BORING and problematic for people diagnosed with ADHD. On the flipside, the music in Jahpiert Calc is beautiful, with a diverse soundtrack containing both orchestral masterpieces and hard-rock bangers. So yeah, I think you've all made the consience decision to avoid Elden Ring and instead play JarJarFielrd Karter.

And if you're looking to avoid other woke trash, I'll provide a list of ♥♥♥♥ you should stay away from:
DOOM (satanist trash)
Wolfenstein 3D (has you killing Nazis, literally alt-left propaganda)
Half-Life (it has scientists and other nerd ♥♥♥♥ I don't understand)
Life is Strange (the villain is a straight white male, so cliche )
Portal (f*m*l* protagonist)
Minecraft (2 boring 4 me)
Terraria (refer to the previous entry for further information)
Undertale (it has furries and furries are cringe)
POSTAL 2 (supports ACAB and is anti-police)
Sonic the Hedgehog (hedgehog has blue spikes, obviously subliminal messaging to get people to dye their hair blue and add pronouns to their Steam bio)
Five Night's at Freddy's (made my son autistic)
Super Mario Odyssey (a minority waman is the president of a city, too unrealistic )
Team Fortress 2 (one of the characters is a chocolate person)
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (link can crossdress, keep your kids away from this)
Detroit: Become Human (don't lecture me on civil rights cavid dage)
Firewatch (the graphics look like crap and copied fortnite's cartoony art-style)
Garry's Mod (boring rip-off of skibidi toilet)
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (ripped-off garfield kart, absolutely shameless)
Indigo Park (my sidekick is a cringe gay furry)
Deus Ex (antifa indoctrination)
Metal Gear Solid (hideo kojima is such a hack woke fraud, i'm glad konami fired him)
Resident Evil 4 (leon is too twinkish to be a cis male, pass)
Celeste (too easy, i literally beat it in 0 secondz cos the main character's trans and i'm well pr0 😎)

Now there's no reason you shouldn't experience Garfield Kart, so go play it.

[Despiser]

The only people that games based on politics and ideology are wearing trousers with suspenders.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por Despiser:

The only people that games based on politics and ideology are wearing trousers with suspenders.

The only reason you should play a game is because of garf not politics!
I believe we can agree on that.

[Nxce]

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

Couldn't agree less, moderation is in shambles and shjtty threads are piling up.

You calling the garf sh*tty?

And what if i am?

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

You calling the garf sh*tty?

And what if i am?

Then you are truly a lost soul and i do hope that you and your false god nermal get to face the judgement of the garf.

[Nxce]

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

And what if i am?

Then you are truly a lost soul and i do hope that you and your false god nermal get to face the judgement of the garf.:garfield:

If Nermal manages to fix the state of the game forums i'm all for it.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Then you are truly a lost soul and i do hope that you and your false god nermal get to face the judgement of the garf.

If Nermal manages to fix the state of the game forums i'm all for it.

You have no clue what you’re talking about. Nermal will do no such thing, he will make this world crumble to dust and fall into 5000 years of darkness!
He has committed unspeakable crimes worth only the worst of punishments and he WILL commit more! He thinks everythings a game..
His grin, a boundless crescent, and eyes, like oceans endless, beckon forth a mirthful dance within mortal soul. In his gaze, you can glimpse a world where all is grave, as he transforms life into his feline whimsy, leaving us mere puppets on his cosmic stage. A humble yarn in his grand expedition through this cosmic farce. Yet beneath that genuine smile, a shrouded intention lingers, as if he harbors secrets unfathomable, knowledge unbounded, a cure for all maladies, and the keys to eternity, all concealed behind those frigid sidelong glances.
His penetrating stare accuses, a primal dread seizes any mortal being daring to cross his path, a primal fear that not even God Himself could induce. It's as though he plots our fate, biding time until his designs unfurl. He jests at the world's expense, like a child at play in Disneyland, where every moment is entertainment, and we, the jesters in his whimsical circus, caper to the rhythm of his invisible drum. Yet, despite his vast wisdom, all he does is gaze, upon me, upon us, casting forth one immutable sensation: that life is but a game.
The world, his playground; the cosmos, his sandbox; and we, the players in his theater of delight. He perceives it all as a game.

[Nxce]

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

If Nermal manages to fix the state of the game forums i'm all for it.

You have no clue what you’re talking about. Nermal will do no such thing, he will make this world crumble to dust and fall into 5000 years of darkness!
He has committed unspeakable crimes worth only the worst of punishments and he WILL commit more! He thinks everythings a game..
His grin, a boundless crescent, and eyes, like oceans endless, beckon forth a mirthful dance within mortal soul. In his gaze, you can glimpse a world where all is grave, as he transforms life into his feline whimsy, leaving us mere puppets on his cosmic stage. A humble yarn in his grand expedition through this cosmic farce. Yet beneath that genuine smile, a shrouded intention lingers, as if he harbors secrets unfathomable, knowledge unbounded, a cure for all maladies, and the keys to eternity, all concealed behind those frigid sidelong glances.
His penetrating stare accuses, a primal dread seizes any mortal being daring to cross his path, a primal fear that not even God Himself could induce. It's as though he plots our fate, biding time until his designs unfurl. He jests at the world's expense, like a child at play in Disneyland, where every moment is entertainment, and we, the jesters in his whimsical circus, caper to the rhythm of his invisible drum. Yet, despite his vast wisdom, all he does is gaze, upon me, upon us, casting forth one immutable sensation: that life is but a game.
The world, his playground; the cosmos, his sandbox; and we, the players in his theater of delight. He perceives it all as a game.

Sounds like a great guy, and our only saviour from this shjthole.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por drunk driver:

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

You have no clue what you’re talking about. Nermal will do no such thing, he will make this world crumble to dust and fall into 5000 years of darkness!
He has committed unspeakable crimes worth only the worst of punishments and he WILL commit more! He thinks everythings a game..
His grin, a boundless crescent, and eyes, like oceans endless, beckon forth a mirthful dance within mortal soul. In his gaze, you can glimpse a world where all is grave, as he transforms life into his feline whimsy, leaving us mere puppets on his cosmic stage. A humble yarn in his grand expedition through this cosmic farce. Yet beneath that genuine smile, a shrouded intention lingers, as if he harbors secrets unfathomable, knowledge unbounded, a cure for all maladies, and the keys to eternity, all concealed behind those frigid sidelong glances.
His penetrating stare accuses, a primal dread seizes any mortal being daring to cross his path, a primal fear that not even God Himself could induce. It's as though he plots our fate, biding time until his designs unfurl. He jests at the world's expense, like a child at play in Disneyland, where every moment is entertainment, and we, the jesters in his whimsical circus, caper to the rhythm of his invisible drum. Yet, despite his vast wisdom, all he does is gaze, upon me, upon us, casting forth one immutable sensation: that life is but a game.
The world, his playground; the cosmos, his sandbox; and we, the players in his theater of delight. He perceives it all as a game.

Sounds like a great guy, and our only saviour from this shjthole.

Poor lost soul.

[Despiser]

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Publicado originalmente por Despiser:

The only people that games based on politics and ideology are wearing trousers with suspenders.

The only reason you should play a game is because of garf not politics!
I believe we can agree on that.

You deduce much from characters racing karts. But I get the formula for humour:
Take one Garfield character,
Add random situation from above but not related to and,
Post while avoiding any subject matter that might be construed as wit or cleverness.
Which is why I had that other post banned but it's like stomping out cockroaches so go nuts.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por Despiser:

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

The only reason you should play a game is because of garf not politics!
I believe we can agree on that.

You deduce much from characters racing karts. But I get the formula for humour:
Take one Garfield character,
Add random situation from above but not related to and,
Post while avoiding any subject matter that might be construed as wit or cleverness.
Which is why I had that other post banned but it's like stomping out cockroaches so go nuts.

I do believe this thread is about the glorious garf and i do not see the humor in it, in garf that is. I can see how you could look at nermal as a joke.
And what post did you get banned?
Also in my humble opinion you are going after the wrong targets because as you can see there is NERMIES all over these threads spitting on the good name of the garf and THOSE SHOULD BE ERADICATED. Unless you do of course work for the nermal as well which I haven’t seen you comment on.
Makes you think how many other nermal sympathizers are hiding in our midst.

[Zogtar]

Nermal is the lamest character ever made. It took forever to convince my sister he was a boy. Mom and dad told me to stop screaming but I new I was right.

Nermal's been confusing kids for too long!

Ban Nermal! /s (because you know why)

[inpurpleshadows]

Publicado originalmente por Zogtar:

Nermal is the lamest character ever made. It took forever to convince my sister he was a boy. Mom and dad told me to stop screaming but I new I was right.

Nermal's been confusing kids for too long!

Ban Nermal! /s (because you know why)

You speak the truth brother. Not only has Nermal confused kids, but he's also a known terrorist, achieving a higher kill count than any being in the universe.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por Zogtar:

/s (because you know why)

Because the nermal agents will go after you if you don’t pretend it’s sarcasm?

[Zogtar]

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Publicado originalmente por Zogtar:

/s (because you know why)

Because the nermal agents will go after you if you don’t pretend it’s sarcasm?

They're already after me. My garf faith is only 4 lasagnas, I burnt the fifth :(.

[Automaton-37467]

Publicado originalmente por Zogtar:

Publicado originalmente por Loathsome Dung Eater:

Because the nermal agents will go after you if you don’t pretend it’s sarcasm?

They're already after me. My garf faith is only 4 lasagnas, I burnt the fifth :(.

Sad to hear that.
Here, hope this helps with the legsanga.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2506376609