Why Garfield Kart is so much better than Elden Ring

[inpurpleshadows]

A few weeks ago, I attempted to share the word of garf with the players of Elden Ring, but the Nermal agents running this forum deleted my post and ultimately banned me from the forums. It was an incredibly sad experience and I'm still recovering from this tragic event. Thankfully, I have now gained the courage to say why the masterpiece known as Garfield Kart is infinitely better than the mid woke trash that is Elden Ring.

First of all, the "difficulty" in Elden Ring is incredibly artificial. Many of the bosses were poorly-designed and I could easily cheese them because I'm a h4rdc0re pr0 g@m3r with 3p1c 360 n0-sc0p3 sk!llz. And most of the gameplay isn't even fun, it's just walking which is too boring from my skibidi ohio rizz brain. Garfield Kart, on the other hand, is practically flawless in terms of gameplay. The difficulty is balanced, appealing to both casuals and hardcore gamers alike. The learning curve is so well-designed, that I have yet to master G4rf13ld K@rt. I can't say the same for Elden Ring (more like Elden Mid), it was $o ea5y, I beat it in less than two hours which is good because I could refund this woke garbage and instead spend my money on something more important, like buying my 23rd copy of Jarphielt Card. Additionally, the graphics in Elden Ring look worse than that one Microsoft Paint Christmas special, I've taken dumps that look more appealing. I would rather eat the rotten ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer. Gorfeuld Kirt's visuals are breathtaking and so realistic you'll forget you're playing a video game. Finally, the music in Elden Ring is boring, I've had more fun listening to K-Pop. I can't even call it "music" because there's no energy, no melody, not even a catchy beat, it's ambient which is SO BORING and problematic for people diagnosed with ADHD. On the flipside, the music in Jahpiert Calc is beautiful, with a diverse soundtrack containing both orchestral masterpieces and hard-rock bangers. So yeah, I think you've all made the consience decision to avoid Elden Ring and instead play JarJarFielrd Karter.

And if you're looking to avoid other woke trash, I'll provide a list of ♥♥♥♥ you should stay away from:
DOOM (satanist trash)
Wolfenstein 3D (has you killing Nazis, literally alt-left propaganda)
Half-Life (it has scientists and other nerd ♥♥♥♥ I don't understand)
Life is Strange (the villain is a straight white male, so cliche )
Portal (f*m*l* protagonist)
Minecraft (2 boring 4 me)
Terraria (refer to the previous entry for further information)
Undertale (it has furries and furries are cringe)
POSTAL 2 (supports ACAB and is anti-police)
Sonic the Hedgehog (hedgehog has blue spikes, obviously subliminal messaging to get people to dye their hair blue and add pronouns to their Steam bio)
Five Night's at Freddy's (made my son autistic)
Super Mario Odyssey (a minority waman is the president of a city, too unrealistic )
Team Fortress 2 (one of the characters is a chocolate person)
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (link can crossdress, keep your kids away from this)
Detroit: Become Human (don't lecture me on civil rights cavid dage)
Firewatch (the graphics look like crap and copied fortnite's cartoony art-style)
Garry's Mod (boring rip-off of skibidi toilet)
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (ripped-off garfield kart, absolutely shameless)
Indigo Park (my sidekick is a cringe gay furry)
Deus Ex (antifa indoctrination)
Metal Gear Solid (hideo kojima is such a hack woke fraud, i'm glad konami fired him)
Resident Evil 4 (leon is too twinkish to be a cis male, pass)
Celeste (too easy, i literally beat it in 0 secondz cos the main character's trans and i'm well pr0 😎)

Now there's no reason you shouldn't experience Garfield Kart, so go play it.

[Alexandre]

Game runs fine on my RTX 4090

[[LZ]Icy]

Първоначално публикувано от Alexandre:

Game runs fine on my RTX 4090

Kurtfurl Bat? Ofcourse it does!

[Zogtar]

Първоначално публикувано от Alby:

I’m starting to think all of this isn’t some kind of meme. I’m starting to think people actually live to please some fat lasagna eating cat.

Garf feels what you're saying.

[Despiser]

Първоначално публикувано от Alby:

I’m starting to think all of this isn’t some kind of meme. I’m starting to think people actually live to please some fat lasagna eating cat.

Obviously it is an attempt to propagate a meme. What better way to waste one's time.

[Zogtar]

Just don't dig into the Lasagna cult, especially if you've never reached beyond the depth of consciousness...

You've been warned.

Grf'thlhu f'tahn Odie

*ninja this in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-ma31YBfw8

[rhoenix]

Първоначално публикувано от Zogtar:

Just don't dig into the Lasagna cult, especially if you've never reached beyond the depth of consciousness...

You've been warned.

Grf'thlhu f'tahn Odie

I can buy this theory that Nermal is just Garfield's mental illness projecting, caused by Odie worshiping C'thuhlu.

Or being made to believe Garfield is actually C'thuhlu's avatar, either way.

[Automaton-37467]

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Първоначално публикувано от Zogtar:

Just don't dig into the Lasagna cult, especially if you've never reached beyond the depth of consciousness...

You've been warned.

Grf'thlhu f'tahn Odie

I can buy this theory that Nermal is just Garfield's mental illness projecting, caused by Odie worshiping C'thuhlu.

Or being made to believe Garfield is actually C'thuhlu's avatar, either way.

Obvious false information, if nermal is just in garfs head then how come you can play him in garhloeind kart furious racing? And who has committed all those horrible crimes against humanity if nermal isn’t real?
These conspiracy theories are getting ridiculous.

[rhoenix]

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

I can buy this theory that Nermal is just Garfield's mental illness projecting, caused by Odie worshiping C'thuhlu.

Or being made to believe Garfield is actually C'thuhlu's avatar, either way.

Obvious false information, if nermal is just in garfs head then how come you can play him in garhloeind kart furious racing? And who has committed all those horrible crimes against humanity if nermal isn’t real?
These conspiracy theories are getting ridiculous.

Just like Fight Club, man. Garfield ain't sleeping well, know what I mean?

[Automaton-37467]

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Obvious false information, if nermal is just in garfs head then how come you can play him in garhloeind kart furious racing? And who has committed all those horrible crimes against humanity if nermal isn’t real?
These conspiracy theories are getting ridiculous.

Just like Fight Club, man. Garfield ain't sleeping well, know what I mean?

I will not accept these baseless accusations! This is nermal propaganda AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!
I agree with Despiser the mods are NOT doing their job as you can see by all this N*RMAL PROPAGANDA PLAGUING THESE THREADS!

[rhoenix]

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Just like Fight Club, man. Garfield ain't sleeping well, know what I mean?

I will not accept these baseless accusations! This is nermal propaganda AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!
I agree with Despiser the mods are NOT doing their job as you can see by all this N*RMAL PROPAGANDA PLAGUING THESE THREADS!

What if Nermal was just Garfield's insecurities projected? This is why no matter what Garfield does to run or send Nermal away... it does no good. In fact, this entire situation is actually evocative of Jung's work regarding the concepts of shadows and projection.

It's an exquisitely heart-wrenching tale of Jon and Odie's loving support of Garfield's challenges.

[Automaton-37467]

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

I will not accept these baseless accusations! This is nermal propaganda AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!
I agree with Despiser the mods are NOT doing their job as you can see by all this N*RMAL PROPAGANDA PLAGUING THESE THREADS!

What if Nermal was just Garfield's insecurities projected? This is why no matter what Garfield does to run or send Nermal away... it does no good. In fact, this entire situation is actually evocative of Jung's work regarding the concepts of shadows and projection.

It's an exquisitely heart-wrenching tale of Jon and Odie's loving support of Garfield's challenges.

Look BUDDY.
You have no idea what you are talking about, you can see Egyptian symbolism on nermals kart and hat in tarfield kart furious racing. Jon told the garf once that sending nermal to Abu Dhabi was "not nice" (which i whole heartedly disagree with) and garf responded that egypt is further.
See where im going with this? I believe that the garf has sent nermal away to Egypt and that nermal has escaped the confinement of his box. After that he has taken the power of Egyptian gods to use as his own weapon. That is the reason why nermals hat gives you a buff to the exploding crystal that have probably some sort of egyptian background.
And now tell me for what exact reason the garf would make that all up? Why would this help him cope with his accused and obviously MADE UP insecurities.

[rhoenix]

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

What if Nermal was just Garfield's insecurities projected? This is why no matter what Garfield does to run or send Nermal away... it does no good. In fact, this entire situation is actually evocative of Jung's work regarding the concepts of shadows and projection.

It's an exquisitely heart-wrenching tale of Jon and Odie's loving support of Garfield's challenges.

Look BUDDY.
You have no idea what you are talking about, you can see Egyptian symbolism on nermals kart and hat in tarfield kart furious racing. Jon told the garf once that sending nermal to Abu Dhabi was "not nice" (which i whole heartedly disagree with) and garf responded that egypt is further.
See where im going with this? I believe that the garf has sent nermal away to Egypt and that nermal has escaped the confinement of his box. After that he has taken the power of Egyptian gods to use as his own weapon. That is the reason why nermals hat gives you a buff to the exploding crystal that have probably some sort of egyptian background.
And now tell me for what exact reason the garf would make that all up? Why would this help him cope with his accused and obviously MADE UP insecurities.

Obviously, so he could have another video game. *scoff*

Why are you enabling his issues? We should be offering him loving and nonjudgemental support, like Jon and Odie do - not supporting his illnesses by offering his delusions hagiography.

[Automaton-37467]

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Look BUDDY.
You have no idea what you are talking about, you can see Egyptian symbolism on nermals kart and hat in tarfield kart furious racing. Jon told the garf once that sending nermal to Abu Dhabi was "not nice" (which i whole heartedly disagree with) and garf responded that egypt is further.
See where im going with this? I believe that the garf has sent nermal away to Egypt and that nermal has escaped the confinement of his box. After that he has taken the power of Egyptian gods to use as his own weapon. That is the reason why nermals hat gives you a buff to the exploding crystal that have probably some sort of egyptian background.
And now tell me for what exact reason the garf would make that all up? Why would this help him cope with his accused and obviously MADE UP insecurities.

Obviously, so he could have another video game. *scoff*

Why are you enabling his issues? We should be offering him loving and nonjudgemental support, like Jon and Odie do - not supporting his illnesses by offering his delusions hagiography.

SHUT. UP.
AND STOP SULLYING THE GOOD NAME OF THE GARF YOU NERMAL SYMPATHIZING VERMIN!

[rhoenix]

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Obviously, so he could have another video game. *scoff*

Why are you enabling his issues? We should be offering him loving and nonjudgemental support, like Jon and Odie do - not supporting his illnesses by offering his delusions hagiography.

SHUT. UP.
AND STOP SULLYING THE GOOD NAME OF THE GARF YOU NERMAL SYMPATHIZING VERMIN!

The Nermal isn't real. It can't hurt you. it's okay.

Garfield will if you deny him lasagna though, this is true. I think we all respect that.

[Automaton-37467]

Първоначално публикувано от rhoenix:

Първоначално публикувано от Loathsome Dung Eater:

SHUT. UP.
AND STOP SULLYING THE GOOD NAME OF THE GARF YOU NERMAL SYMPATHIZING VERMIN!

The Nermal isn't real. It can't hurt you. it's okay.

Garfield will if you deny him lasagna though, this is true. I think we all respect that.

You nermal dogs feed on weakness, but you will find none in me, through strength we’ll starve you out.