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Best advice I can give is stop taking losses to heart. Too many people are conditioned by other games to believe they are the best gamers in the world that would own this game with zero deaths and not a single pvp loss, and they get VERY butthurt when they die at the hands of another player. Let it go, relax and practice - that's how you start enjoying it.
Then just experiment and try things out.
Now, for the things to know:
Invasion matchmaking is based both on your character level and weapon upgrade.
Somber weapon upgrade is equivalent to 2.5 normal weapon upgrade. So when you see people mentioning something like "lvl20+3/+1" that means character level 20 with normal weapons +3 and somber +1. This is one of the most active ranges for invasions.
Be wary of this if you intend to do low level invasion build: weapon upgrade level for matchmaking is the largest upgrade you have ever held in your inventory. So don't kill patches (+7 spear), dont kill edgar the revenger (+8 halberd) and dont tell rogier you killed Godric (+8 rapier).
It's a combination of practice, understanding how to cheese the netcoding latency and using weapon arts that that also exploit lag. It's a boring chore and you'd be better off avoiding pvp entirely.
Meta tryharding occurs mostly on meta levels.
Join the sub30, enjoy it all over again
Practice it until you are no longer separating yourself from team and are no longer panic rolling.
Oh, and if there is a fog gate nearby, use it. You and your phantoms are wasting resources like Crimson Flasks that could be used for the boss by opting to engage the invader. Unless you're going out of your way to gank invaders, go fight the boss instead.
2: Plan your loadout. Souls fights are strongly skill based, but they can still be won and lost in the build. Use tools like the character planner[eip.gg] and weapon attack calculator[eldenring.tclark.io] to optimize your build, starting class, and weapon choice before heading in.
3: Get familiar with terminology and the fundamental concepts of PvP. You should know what spacing, whiff punishing, rollcatching, backstab fishing, parry baiting, and iframes (and what gives them) are and how to respond to them at the very least.
4: try to play at something lower than meta level (120-150) to start. Damage is extraordinarily high at those brackets and there's often little time to realize you're making a mistake and try to adapt your playstyle to fix it; you just die outright. I wouldn't recommend very low levels because they're infested with twinks and OL phantoms, but if you're OK with dealing with those they're the absolute best for fundamental practice once you get into a standard fight. My recommendation would be 60 +12ish collosseum duels.