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The official tutorial ends around when you exit the Stranded Graveyward - Cave of Knowledge. At least that's what I think it was called. Basically when you reach Varre. However, you will get additional pop-ups of information after that as you first encounter new game mechanics. As a new player, make sure you go into your inventory to re-read the tutorial items. And then after you've read them, read them again.
Unfortunately, this is not a multiplayer game. It's a single-player game with multiplayer components. Furthermore, co-op means you are readying yourself up for PvP, which I'm guessing isn't your goal. But keep in mind that PvPers buy this game just so they can invade others. And by others, that means you, the co-op player.
Playing the game fully co-op with specific people is actually pretty difficult to do. Not only from an infrastructure standpoint but also from a design standpoint. You're not meant to hang out with a friend for an entire playthrough completing quests. This is further indicated by quest completions only being granted for the host and not all members in a group.
Yes, what you're doing wrong is expecting to to be a multiplayer game. It is exactly as you state; it's a single-player game with occasional multiplayer tacked on. And it's not refined multiplayer, as has been the case for the several prior installments that FromSoftware has created. It's kinda janky, but can be fun at times.
If you really want to multiplayer the whole time, I recommend you do it with randoms and not friends. Because then you can at least not deal with having to find specific summon signs.
This game is build upon challenge and overcoming it. It's supposed to be complicated and hard when you go trough your first time.
That said, the game provides you with instruments to find that can make you stronger and better prepared to face the challenges. It even gives you an option to play with your friends via the password system.
But devs dont want you to afk while your friends clear the game for you it's supposed to be challenging, remember? So, to keep you on your toes, when you coop a counter-balance was implemented in a form of player invaders, that come and try to kill you for a reward or just fun.
This comes with a range of technical restrictions to make it all possible. Yes, you have to re-summon your friends when you enter a new location like a cave/dungeon or a new zone entirely a bit of a hassle, I admit. But it's not really that bad when you think about it. As the first response mentioned, this is primarily a challenge for you the solo player, your friends are just helpers, not full coop partners here. They are your powerup here, so to speak. Nevertheless, don't let that discourage you from going trough the game with friends, it's still fun. And it let's me invade you
I play it Offline all the time and have not yet played it Online, nor do I intend to do so.
There are lots of great resources for playing; I like the FExtraLife Elden Ring Wiki. :)
Good Luck!
I'm not an expert on that front but if you and a friend or two want that out of Elden Ring it's available as an option.
Here comes the "it's cheating you'll get banned" argument despite that not being true
https://www.nexusmods.com/eldenring/mods/510
Is this the link people use to download it? Haven't used it myself either.
I've got no experience with it (because I'm a friendless goon) but I've heard good things about it from people seeking a more co-op focused experience.