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i hate to break it to you, but forcing you to ragequit is a win for us.
I'm afraid you are the one playing the wrong game if you Alt + F4 as soon as you get invaded while doing co-op. Invasions are part of the game's mechanics, if you want to avoid them, go solo or Offline. Or better yet, you find another game to play.
As for OP: I think currently there's a lot of server issues, I myself get disconnects just like you mention, and also mid fights. From needs to fix this connection jank.
This has nothing to do with people alt-f4ing, you didn't even bother reading...
These anti pvpers are just sad pathetic trolls, thats all.
They have to try and get a rise out of people because they cant get their way like babies.
The rest I suppose is the standard Alt+F4ing. Obviously not cool, but I sympathize to some extent to the people who are doing it as soon as an invader rolls up. We dug our own grave to a great extent in that regard.
Fromsoft is simply really really bad at networking stuff.
You can notice it as well on other people, just suddenly some random person has returned to their world. Not invaded, not summoned, just returned.
This happens quite frequently on regular multiplayer but it is particularly bad in that area.