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Is it violating the rules of Fromsoftware ?
No
Its a game mechanic implemented by fromsoft so that a wide audience of players can finish the game despite not being good on a controller.
Elden Ring was specifically designed to give new players tools to make it easy. If you dont care about boss mechanics but want to progress through the game -> thats what Ashes are for.
Thats intended
Is it trivializing bossfights ?
hell yes
Fromsoft Bosses get confused by more than 1 target.
you can just attack them freely in their back whenever they go for your spirit then run away and wait till they turn from you to spirit again.
So did you as a player actually beat a boss when using spirits and NPC summons `?
Not Really
To some people it matters to others it doesnt.
up to you to decide.
Do you want to learn the bosses or just progress through the game
In the end its your choice and since its single player game nobody but you should care
But no, it's obviously not cheating, it was put in the game to be used and I think the double boss fights were mostly put into place, to be fought using the spirit ashes. If you feel like it makes it too easy, don't use them, if you like them, use them, the game was made with them in mind and I give Miyazaki and his crew enough credit to know what they're doing balance wise.
Just have fun the way you want to have fun, that's what these games are all about. You can be whoever you want and play however you want.
I personally am playing melee so far. I can't even equip spells due to no stats for them.
@OP
I think its fine, you are free to go. :)
Use what you can other than real cheat software like "Cheat Engine".
The consensus seems to be:
"It's not cheating because the game is designed to have companions in mind."
"If you think the game is too easy then play it solo. without any help"
"Don't brag on difficulty when you beat the game/boss with help"
That's usually the nutshell.