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Your purchase here was primarily for the masterpiece story mode. Online is actually a separate, cheaper purchase that even has a separate discussion page-> https://steamcommunity.com/app/1404210/discussions/
It just happens to be included with the more expensive story mode.
There is a fix if you and your friend want to enjoy the beauty of the online game without the scum. Search 'Solo lobby in 60 Seconds'. That will allow you and you friend to play the game using a password protected lobby. You can also use that method to join a good player community, plenty out there - search RDO Revamped.
I will look into the RDO revamped.
I was looking into RDO revamped their Discord address does not appear to be working.
I Actually got RedM its almost exclusively for roleplay and the issue is from what Ive read on reddit most people running those servers are power hungry tyrants who have favorites that they let break the rules.
After downloading it I did try to join some servers you cant just join a server though you have to actually JOIN THE DISCORD OF THAT SERVER... Read that servers rules for their server then you have to usually be approved or put in an application.
The list of rules is REALLY LONG... So many rules for multiple things and they expect to not only read all that but remember all that too...
I recently had tried to join a server had some serious problems with having to constantly reverify my rockstar account literally everytime I launched the game.
Every time you launch RedM you have to login to rockstar and most times you have to go also into your emial and grab another verification code.
RedM is not safe from the same type of shenanigans of mod menu users and hackers though either theres youtube videos of people who literally run their entire youtube off of making videos trolling with the modmenu on RedM. No lie. The moment they get banned they just reconnect with a new character and until that one also gets banned.
So RedM is only worth it if you are a roleplayer and want to take the time out to join a discord read a ton of rules for lots of different things and then manage to get along with people who can be ridiculous and treat you very disrespectfully if you have questions and thats another thing... If you get RedM and have questions dont expect much help. They expect you to talk to no one receive help from no one and just use all of their 100+ channels in the discord that you have to scroll through hundreds of questions to find the one you had if indeed it was asked instead of simply just answering you.
Google RedM and read some of the reddit posts and also before you join a RedM server to connect read some of the Users who joined the servers reviews on how their experience went. Some servers will lock items behind paywalls or make everything about money.
I dont think RedM is the best solution to hackers and griefers when it includes them but thats just been my experience thus far. From what Ive read some of those serrvers also require you to have a specific mic or headset that is 100+ dollars.
More than anything I think all RedM is honestly is just a way to join a server and roleplay
which in most circumstances is going to be extremely different than riding around doing your dailies and missions and traveling.
Essentially you have the choice of Red dead online. Play how you want but risk dealing with mod menu users or actual hackers. OR Change your play style entirely to one much more limited and pretend to be a character in the game under the rules of someone who owns that server that can remove you and all of your progress on it at anytime for any reason without explanation while also having to deal with mod menu users. Its not really better its just different with a chance you wont have to be harassed as much since they can still harass you on RedM with the same shenanigans.
The best solution and only one it seems so far that I see is to just play alone on a PRIVATE Server or with a friend/s on your own Solo Private Server. If you wish to actually play RDO and not be so limited in what you are able to do.
Peace and freedom.