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Being used is bad...... & yes Arthur is used alot but that's cause he has a child's mentality & can't make the right choices in order to improve the Camp & for him self in order to stay out of trouble due to Dutch.
She did want to run away with him, he said he had no money which is a lame excuse. She didn't mind that he was a wanted man since she kept reaching out for him and kept wanting to see him but he put Dutch ahead of her.
He didn't run away with her because he knew he'd have to at least help get John, Abigail and Jack out when the time came, which he knew was coming.
It would have been selfish to run away with Mary later when she finally asks him to. Not only thing but would good would it have been for Mary, with Arthur already as sick as he was.
Some would say Arthur was a fool. If you ask me, Mary is the fool. She let Arthur down in the past and didn't step up to her father and run away with Arthur when she had the chance. Now she's older and her option are much more limited now. She's asking Arthur like he's idiot... and I take it as such. F U woman, you had your chance and you blew it. I mean hey, this is how men are treated all the time from woman, why not give her the same treatment. No Arthur was better to stand tall and kindly walk away. And if she really did love and want him, she could wait a little longer after the gang business is over with. But sadly Arthur didn't live long enough to see it all done and go live out the rest of his days with Mary and those he helped, such as John.
When you got the second letter it was prior to Arthur knowing he was sick.
He tells to Mary two reasons why he can't go with her yet:
He's a wanted man and doesn't want to put her in danger (weak argument given that a few people from his gang are with their own partners).
He doesn't have enough money and needs to do one final thing before leaving the gang for good (another weak argument, he has by that point in time proven to be able to survive in the wild, he could do any kind of job and he's not worse than John).
Mary despite everything wanted to be with him, her only requirement was that he leaves that lifestyle, something which he never did.
And me with i am the same age 36 :)) look like ~25+ range to 28 :)))
Bro he should have left the gang and run away with Mary the first time he sees her. Being loyal to the gang was a dumb move, Mary loved him for real.