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CURRENTLY the only way you have to get Traits you want is to use the option to press the Traits you have onto your Ward which ofcourse has a cooldown and can fail.....
To get around this you can save scum
AGE 3 - Personality Trait ie- Rowdy, Bossy, Pensive
Age 7 - Trait Pick One
Age 11 - Trait Pick Two
Age 13 - Trait Pick 3 and usually Sexuality.
YOU MUST SAVE BEFORE JAN 1st BEFORE THE AGE OF THESE EVENTS.
IE Save the year before your Heir turns 7.
By doing this if you get a stupid ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ event that has nothing to do with the Traits you as a Guardian have you can Save Scum back and try for another event.
If you FAIL to get the save before the CORRECT TIME, YOU WILL GET THE SAME EVENT!!!
Options if you fail....
If you have enough time, you can change Guardians. Though you are likely to get the SAME EVENT, but rarely you can get another of 3 options, Though usually they are poor ones.
No Guardian, Remove the guardian from the Ward, again they may get another roll event of 3 options but again these are generally poor trait options.
by poor Trait options , The Event is generally ALWAYS
the Rolls for Arrogent, Callous, Compassionate OR Shy, Gluttonous, Impatient.
ALSO IMPORTANT
ONLY
ROWDY (brave/Stub/Wrath)(Brave/zealous/ambit)(venge,call,Arro)
BOSSY
PENSIVE
Currently aren't bugged to having certain Traits have a higher chance to spawn during events.
The other 2 are currently have .'d out lines that require fixing in the code.
AS OF this latest patch 11/19/24
So there you go.
Generally for my Heir
If I don't get Rowdy I make a new Heir.
Once I get Rowdy I let the RNG pick Trait 1 hoping to get a good trait.
Then I CHOOSE TRAIT 2 using Ward Training.
I let RNG choose Trait 3
Then I use WARD TRAINING for a 4th TRAIT so my Heir usually get 4 Traits.
Not always, 4 Traits can still fail but having 4 is nice.
Also remember that there are a few ways to Remove/Change/Gain new Traits, through actions like having 10+ Lovers having a chance to get Lustful
Or Stress Events offereing Compassionate->Wrathful/Vengeful....ect
Craven -> Brave rarely though a random event of exploring.
First Trait pick happens at the age of 9 (unless you have Wards and Wardens DLC then you are able to influence them after the age of 6 and get one or two extra traits). Then 11 and last at 13 as you said.