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And of course should be your Character's friend or Lover or your Character has at least a strong hook against the Spymaster.
Paranoid, cynical, and lustful are all good traits for intrigue bumps, as long as they don't make them dislike you (i.e., as long as you're not chaste and zealous, etc.). Coward is FANTASTIC because they get an intrigue bump *and* they're way less likely to act against you.
Non-intrigue-boosting traits that are nice are things like shy (less likely to act on anything), loyal if you can find it (rare), generous (less susceptible to bribery), and anything that increases their opinion of their liege/decreases the likelihood of them taking money to kill you without docking too many intrigue points.
I agree with Grymogen on staying away from arbitrary and fickle unless you have a strong hook and are willing to lose people at your court. Same for sadistic, from my experience.
Check out the traits list and try to balance intrigue traits with those that are pro-honor/-compassion/-rationality: https://ck3.paradoxwikis.com/Traits
Yes, they do. As long as their traits allow for it. They're not going to stop a plot to kill a courtier that they personally hate (rivalry and/or trait- or culture- or religion-related.)