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I find female preference with equality useful because it lets me freely land my sons with any territory I conquer and have a more stable succession with my daughters simultaneously.
I have a backup save so I suppose the question is whether I should bite the bullet and play as the cousin (which monumentally screws up my eugenics), or try and reform the religion later with another descendant.
Am I correct in assuming you can't usually change gender preference for tribal governments? I haven't found the option for such.
Edit: I just checked and it still swaps to my cousin if I use female preference in the religion, so I'm assuming this is a bug.
So if you have made a new faith, you must first demand conversion from your grandchildren, before they are can become your heir again.