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So I think the issue here is rather based on one of you having a firewall up or something along those lines. What you could try is both manually setting the region to something else, perhaps that work. But as you describe it it should already work as intended. You could also try joining the discord and both try coop with someone else. That way you can determine where the issue lays. If one can join and the other can't for instance, then that narrows down where the issue is.
Please let me know if this helped. I'm currently away from home to help my mother in a move, but tomorrow I can help some more if needed. Although there should be people on the discord currently as well who can help you troubleshoot as well if its still needed
The first thing we are going to try (when his DeltaAlpha wakes up) is to not PWP our game, and see if that is the cause. If it is I will let you know right away. If it still won't let us join each other games, we will try the fixes you suggested to see if that will work.
Thank you very much for the quick reply!