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My solution: Run my own. I play like I am in single player. People come and go as they please and I just let them do what they want on the server. PVP, even though I'm not fond of pvp in any sort of way. I actually am not interested in pvp...but its the apocalypse, and occasionally I meet real live human players. Some are good and nice and cool while others are horrid and nasty and pretty much garbage humans. Adrenaline with the unknown reaction from live players.
I don't seek out players, I don't advertise...just go play when I want. It is really awesome to explore somewhere and find signs of life. Player zombies are fun to discover. Player bases, either active or abandoned.
Most players just join and go do their thing, without much interaction with me or others. Sometimes the come on real chatty and then perhaps I go meet up, carefully away from my base, to test the waters as it were. If they prove not to blast me with a shotgun on sight, we can hang out and have fun.
And I don't run mods so I don't worry about hating the devs for breaking my mods, then hating the modders for not updating on day one.
I am east coast USA. I found when my server is on steam, I would get tons of Canadians joining me. When I run it through my GOG copy, It is mostly Russian and South Americans that join. They do get high pings quite a lot, and are kicked by default high ping = kick
The canadians would ask for mods to be added and setting changed to suit them quite frequently. While on gog, there is not so much asking to change up my server. Weird.
I actually took it down for a week. I am going to wait for the next stable release (perhaps tomorrow on steam and a day or two later for GOG to roll out the next stable)
See ya later dude, long wait for npc to even go to beta.
I had a server that I let people play on from the official discord and it was like 2 weeks before I got flusterated with it lol and noped out of it. Trying to keep everyone happy, people rushing too quickly and looting everything, people telling others how to play because they have this amount of knowledge, etc, this and that it, this ans that , that and this was just a literal pain the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass. And that was just like maybe 15 people So i can really understand the reason why there is no official server, its just a headache and POSSIBLER recipe for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.