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After looking into it i found that it Destiny doesn't even have dedicated servers and uses a semi p2p networking system which was the last thing I would have thought in 2023...
"Every activity in Destiny 2 is hosted by one of our servers... This differs from Destiny 1, where these hosting duties were performed by player consoles and only script and mission logic ran in the data center."
"Destiny 2 uses a hybrid of client-server and peer-to-peer technology, just like Destiny 1. The server is authoritative over how the game progresses, and each player is authoritative over their own movement and abilities."
I have 100 up 100 down link between my ISP and and my house. And I literally have 2.5Gbps wired locally between my switches and routers. I find it highly unlikely that its that. Its most definitely the way destiny likes to try match via location/ ping which would make sense. having clients connected together with the same average ping is more beneficial and makes it more balanced for everyone. Also with p2p having one or more people with high ping or poor connection from the rest of the group would degrade the quality for everyone.
for all i care once you have a vac ban you should be locked out of online gaming or pvp permanently.
After scouring the forms and other discussions I've seen a few commented about how firewalls for certain antiviruses could block it and I doubt it does. I'm running premium version of Glasswire which is very thorough when scanning through network activity and uses VirusTotal to scan any traffic and it doesn't flag anything related to Steam or Destiny.
I would if you are desperate, port forward, follow Bungie's guide and also specifically allow priority pass through on your windows firewall. Other than that there is not much todo.
Hope this helps anyone who needs it xD