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If you are experiencing issues with downloading updates on Steam, I highly recommend making a post on the Help and Tips forum on the main Steam Discussion page.
clear download cache
steam-> settings-> downloads-> clear download cache
fixed it for me
You can try changing your update priority to high priority.
Right click on the game, then click on Properties. Then, in the Update section, under Automatic Updates, click on High Priority.
Hold on...you could launch the game without updating? That's...bold
But also this is how it's always worked for me, I log in, I got to my downloads section see if there are any updates, hit the updates button, wait a few minutes and bam, I'm gaming, I've never logged in once, even with "auto updates" turned on and seen the steam client automatically download something, unless I see an update, log out, and then log back in
You may have your updates set to manually install. But I've never had to update Destiny 2 until recently. As far as I'm aware Steam does it when I log in. I usually don't open Steam by launching a game, I usually open Steam, then launch the game after I see what's on sale.