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Look at the bottom video first
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23S8GEaeX4k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVt5vJWNS68
then create a shortcut off of arma3server_x64.exe and put this at the end of the target line
then just start the server and join it. once your in the server(in the game) just type #login 123 and you have control over what mission to play and everything just as if you started the server how you normally do. if you want to use mods then just create a .batch file and put this in it. after the ; in the mods line just add whichever other mods you want just the same as inidbi2 is there and thats all.
If it doesn't then that is your problem. Upnp should split the 2 pc apart over the internet. Me and my wife have been gaming together for years and when I got a new router a few years back only one of us could play online in the same game. Took me awhile to figure out that the router didn't support upnp.
Hope that is all it is for you
you need to be on same node. thats all. then your bud can join it from LAN, while others join it via internet.