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In short thats what you have to do, so what part of that did you not do,
The buddy pass won't let him seek you out to play, you have to invite him. You can try different time's of the day. If your both at the loadout screen, go ahead and start your game, once you do that and sitting in-game before you even move, send the invite again.
If you want, add me as friend and we will try to connect. That will be the easiest way to sort thru the problem.
See that, what we did? in order for you and your friend to play you do the same. find each other 1st, close the game and restart.
i'll do the same for you, add me as friend and i'll load the game and we can play
since we both live in the states we should have a good connection, come find me when your ready to play