At last! A weapons system that's perfectly suited for the TF2 soldier. It's no secret the soldier is slow. Really slow. His run is little more than a brisk walk compared to the other classes. But it's not his fault. He's got arthritis which has hobbled his mobility and causes him trouble when trying to run or reload his weapon in a timely manner.

But that's about to change. Introducing the CMS2012X1 Combat Mobility Scooter: A weapons system designed for the soldier that's crippled but still has some fight in him. The combat mobility scooter features an auto-loading rocket launcher and plenty of speed to get to the fight before the round is over. The platform also comes with a nifty cane to deliver savage beatings in melee altercations. Yes, this weapons platform has it all for the sluggish soldier.

[FYI: This was done using camera trickery in Blender 3D. This is not an in-game screenshot.]