Obnoxiously Good-Guy Boring Useless Health Dude

Are you tired of being bullied for maining Medic on TF2? Isn't having fun playing video games such a pain? Aren't you tired of being so damn useful? Does being original and creative and actually having fun playing half of what the game is actually good for (character creation) sound unentertaining?

Well FEAR NOT! This guide's for you! It will:
a) Not help you at all and
b) not help anyone else, either!
How COOL is that?

Story, Revan, Other Annoying Stuff That'd Actually Require Me to Think

Nah I'm good

Class

As everyone knows, in every RPG, one must have... class.
To be the coolest flyboy, the hippest cat, the smoothest sly-dog in town, you gotta rush the enemy, baby - and everybody knows that the meanest rush is the Jedi Guardian.
In non-BennyfromFallout:NewVegas speak, I'm trying to tell you guys that y'all ought to choose the dog-gone Jedi Guardian, because he/she can literally fling him/herself at enemies. And there's no greater way to test your health pool's abilities, than by slinging yourself into melee combat against enemies who have much greater Dexterity/Strength modifiers than you!

Portrait

Ah, now here's the good stuff. Selecting a Portrait is, perhaps, the most important part of the entire game. Therefore, you absolutely *cannot* half-ass this.

So, here's a tip: Choose the Asian guy with red eyes. He looks cool.

Attributes

As you may have noticed, the game has seven attributes to choose from when creating/leveling your character (Gaw-lee! Tough choices in an RPG? Who would've thunk it...). Some of them are useful - Strength for melee and other unimportant crap (although less so with finesse n stuff), Dexterity for dodging, guns, and grenades (basically), Constitution for, ya know, staying alive.

Now, our character is quite aptly named. Because you're going to give him 18 Con. No arguments. Only compliance. DO IT. DO IT NOW. 18 because that's the max you can have during creation, and that's the kind of character we're going for. Leveling up your character, this is all you're going to upgrade. No, you can't afford to put points into anything else, because that would be being original, and then you wouldn't need to be here.

Seeing as you're reading this and haven't already vomited in the comments section about how absurdly unfunny I am [...being due to my attempts to make this at least a somewhat family-friendly guide], we move on to the next attribute: Wisdom. Now, you might be thinking, hey, that ain't all that useless! Well, yeah, it isn't, you got me. But - it is. Because where you put points into Wisdom, which affects Force and healing and Will saves and Force DC, are points that could've been put into Charisma, which affects Force (and technically, therefore, healing), skills, and alignment penalties. (Yadda yadda yadda, basically me starting a whole nerd fight by convincing you Wisdom is crap, moving on)
As I said earlier, Wisdom also affects healing - more specifically, your Treat Injury skill (more on that later), so it stays truer to this... thing, this... abomination, that we are building together. Usually I put 16 so I can waste the rest of my points doing useless crap.

The other useless crap

Skills

Treat Injury is a good skill.

Feats

Well, I don't see the problem here, you start with two of 'em.
EHEHEHE

Dad jokes aside,
I usually choose Toughness to get those sweet, sweet health bonuses. If you can't choose Toughness, well, you might actually have to be a bit useful and go for Empathy, and if you can't do that, you should probably choose FP Regen, and if you can't do that, well then, you're on your own.

Mm, the succulent, savory sweetness of Toughness.

Delicious, Tasty, Juicy Powers

I get dizzy just thinking about them.

Unfortunately, this build isn't about thinking. Or fun powers (sorry Force Kill, Force Storm, Death Field, Insanity, Stasis Field, and others - you're on hold!). No no no, that would be too actually useful - too good, too fun, too effective.
Noooo, what we're going for, as a healer dude guy, would have to be Heal. Aaaand that's it. I mean, other boring powers fit the bill, as well, like Force Aura (to stay as useless as possible, get powers that don't affect your party and only stick with droids), or Force Body (if you want to just full on go the opposite direction and actually be deliberately harmful (another nerd argument, incoming!)).

Alignment

Go good, duh

Influence

Every once in a while, you'll do something stupid (sometimes, very stupid). At those times, you wish that your friends don't see you in such an embarrassing state. Unfortunately, most of the time, they're there watching you do this horrifying feat of atrocities - and sometimes (if you have the wrong friends), they're the ones recording it for your future progeny.
Fortunately, in KotOR, it's up to you whether or not your friends are there to see your failings. Or if your companions are friends at all. Or, with the right suspicious dark web mods, if you even have companions at all.
As you may know, companion influence is one thing that The Sith Lords has over the original KotOR. You can gain a positive or neative affinity with your crewmates of the Ebon Hawk depending on what actions you partake in or words you oh-so carefully choose (and, as with my experience talking to Disciple, USUALLY TO NO AVAIL) around them. This in turn opens up dialogue trees, which in turn opens up the story, which in turn opens... uh... I actually don't know, but it's cool, nonetheless.

In short, ignore everything I just said about influence being fun and cool and an in-depth experience almost unique to KotOR II (I still prefer Fallout 4's companion interactions, sue me) and instead try to make friends with Kreia, the bestest most coolestest and least annoying companion character in any game ever, who definitely does not ironically judge you for playing the game the way you want to even though she has a definite emphasis on individuality, and is most certainly an easy person to gain high levels of influence with. ::))

Kreia, Guardian of the Realm, Defender of Peace, Justice, and Bitchiness

Credits Management

To best maintain your credits, sell everything but Medpacs, Advanced Medpacs, and Life Support Packs (including clothes, rare crystals, and stims). That way, you can unlock the secret to true invincibility.

Be sure to manage your credits for a well-balanced life. Credit-management links:
Free Credit Score & Free Credit Reports With Monitoring | Credit Karma[www.creditkarma.com]
Check Your Credit Report & FICO Score | Experian[www.experian.com]

Early Game

Skip the Prologue, for obvious reasons. (It's boring and nobody likes it)

(That button, right there)

Get SuperSquall's Skip Peragus Mod, for obvious reasons. (Peragus is boring and nobody likes it)


Because otherwise, you'll be waiting six hours just to bash open some random low-level container that only has broken items anyway, since you bashed it. And God forbid I actually somehow make KotOR II boring...

The Real World

Congratulations, male/female/fake gender! You've completed the basics, and are now ready to bring your uselessness to the real world of...

Knights of the Old Republic II!

Here's your complimentary (and completely metaphorical) pat on the back! Go you!

[Ichangedmyname]

I have divided the sheep from the goats...

[Revan]

"Congratulations, male/female/fake gender!" - What have you done...

[TheGuyMain]

lmfao best build

[Ichangedmyname]

Yeah, that's probably a wise decision. Given my history. And my victims.

[Ñaught]

Hmm, I think it's "Trust me, I'm a doctor", not "Just take my word for it - I'm a(n unlicensed) doctor". I'm not sure I can trust you.

[Ichangedmyname]

Because doctors are the most consistently well-paid individuals over the course of history. Thusly, when in game, if you specialize in Treat Injury, there very well may be a slightly higher chance of possibly receiving minimal bonus credits.
This one time, I was playing my dex character, and noticed something missing: money.
Just take my word for it - I'm a(n unlicensed) doctor.

[Ñaught]

I would have used this for my first character but I don't get bullied for maining medic in TF2, but for not healing enough people. So, since I am clearly bad at healing (so says the people screeching at me), why would I specialize in it?

[Ichangedmyname]

Just checking back in a- oh crap. 2,000 people have seen this....


Sorry to waste your time lol.

On another note, I don't even know 2,000 people in real life, so, that's cool.

[Applejack [C.S.A]]

hot

[Yondoth]

Your call, General.