The GabeN Bible

Welcome to the GabeN Bible. This will be a 3 part series, and will tell the story of GabeN, and his wonderful, life changing decisions he has made. lets begin.

The GabeN Bible Part 1

This is the first entry to the GabeN bible, which supports the GabeN religion and shares the love, passion and caring GabeN has for every one of us. Please continue.

It was a dark, stormy night in the US of A. There was screaming and howling coming from the hospital room, as a mother was having trouble giving birth to our wonderful GabeN. They didn't know it at first, but the sheer power of GabeN was so great that it was nearly impossible for him to come out. After a lot of surgery and strange occurrences, GabeN was born. He was beautiful from the start, and it was obvious that he was going to do something great in this world. It was at the age of 1 when GabeN started walking and talking. His first words were GabeN, which was obviously his name. His mother and father nurtured GabeN and taught him everything he needed to know to be successful in the world.

Gaben had an ever expanding mind, and was able to do amazing things like write, read, drive and play games at a very young age. He longed for creativity, originality and happiness in this world. He swore to himself he would do anything to make this world a great and peaceful place, for all to share, including him. Eventually, after he left for high school, he discovered this wonderful thing called "games". He loved them. A lot. So during high school, he started to think of how he would achieve his dream, his goal, his life's purpose to give peace to the world. He soon realised the only way to do this was through producing quality products to sell and make everyone happy. After tasting many unique, beautiful foods, he realised it had to be simple and beautiful, something everyone would enjoy and nurture for a very long time. It would have to stand the test of time, last throughout the ages. After getting through school with straight A's, no wrong marks what so ever and a full drivers licence at the age of 16, he turned up university and looked towards the stars.

It was one night, a magical, mystical and beautiful one. He was outside on his porch looking at the stars. It was a star filled night and he was counting every single one of them with his amazing brain. When suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something rustle in the bushes. He knew it was there, he had 21/20 vision, and was very clearly able to make out a figure in the bushes to his right. He had a weird feeling, almost like that creature was magical and of great importance to his life. He quickly rushed after it, and there was an epic chase. Up the tree, through the grass, leap across the mud, jump over the fence. He was lead in an epic chase to catch this mystical, glowing, wolf-like figure. He knew it had to be of great importance. He couldn't let it go. He chased it and chased it, until eventually he was lead to a dark alley way. He wasn't willing to give up at this point. He chased after it, up the pipe, around the corner, through the stairs and.... A pipe. A pipe with a valve at the end. It was glowing. He touched it gently. Then, he realised. This was what he needed. He needed this. This was the inspiration to make the world a better place. he had just finished college and knew that this was his goal. His dream. This, was valve....

So ends part 1 of our magical journey in the life of the wonderful GabeN. Please see part 2 for more.

The GabeN Bible Part 2

This is the second entry to the GabeN Bible, which supports Gabenism and wishes to shares its stories to all. Please continue.

This, was valve....
He began working in an office for some grumpy old boss who didn't care for him, and he stumbled across a new video game making software called sauce. He decided that this was perfect for crafting his dream, so he downloaded it. After much fiddling, he decided to sell his house to buy the sauce engine, and he renamed it Source. This was where he would program his new, amazing, life changing games. His first "game" was a very small game called "Life" which had very bad graphics and physics. He soon turned "Life" into Half-life, which he worked on for an entire year with his new best friend, Dave.

All was looking well until one, fateful night. He was in bed, about to shut off, when he heard something in the kitchen. He grabbed his torch and ran into the kitchen, burst through the door, and even with the lights off, our lord and master GabeN could sense the presence of an intruder. He used his night vision to find the intruder, he realised he was holding a knife. The intruder ran into the next room, so GabeN grabbed a knife. He ran into the room and he saw something he would never let go of. The intruder was holding his holy rock. This rock, was the one thing GabeN would NEVER let go, ever. the intruder pushed a rake over which, toppled over some books and then the entire cabinet. Unfortunately, our lovely GabeN got most of his fingers stuck. He couldn't let the guy go away, So he cut off most of his own fingers. He chased after the intruder, forgetting about the pain, and PolishBiceps tackled the guy to the ground, beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of him and got his rock. But our lord GabeN would never kill, he let him go free. This is why GabeN is no longer able to count to 3. This is because most of his brain is also in his arms and hands, because he needs such a huge brain capacity. Little do many know, GabeNs fingers are actually robotic.

After this, he got robotic fingers and finished his new game, Half-life. He put it up on his new website called "Valve", and it soon gained GREAT popularity. He managed to get enough money with Dave to make a new company called Valve, so he did just that. He made quality games for a long time, and he joined with Steam. Then, suddenly, Valve had a pregnancy test. A new game, Team fortress 2 was born. Everyone gathered around and gave it gifts, hats, unusuals, weapons and more. It was beautiful. It soon grew up and expanded, learned to walk and make money. This was soon followed by CS:GO, which had trading much like TF2 and Dota 2. GabeN realised, that now he was a father. He had many wonderful, grown up children that he had to take care of. He was now, truly happy....

And so ends part II of our journey in the life of our true lord and father, GabeN.

The GabeN Bible Part 3

This is the third and final entry to the GabeN bible, which praises our lord GabeN for all that he does. Please continue.

He was now, truly happy...

Many people believe that there will never be a number 3 in GabeNs life, because it is the cursed numbers. But as a matter of fact, it is in fact the HOLY number. It is the one number GabeN will treasure forever, because he can never count to it again. But now, GabeN has entered a new stage of his life. He is now, the HOLY GabeN. This is his true ultimate form. He now has the power to change someone's life with the swipe of a credit card. He can give us holy sales, a period of which sales are plentiful for all to enjoy. This season is called sluzzletag Steam Summer sales. This season is a time of peace, happiness and well-being in the world. It is there for all to enjoy. Our holy GabeN has many abilities, from Steam Summer Sales to being able to shine the rays of Valve down upon us, purifying us from any evil. Our lord wears his Crown and robes proudly, and knows he is worthy to be our leader, our lord, our king, OUR GOD! GabeN. If you go outside on a sunny, steam summer sales day, and stare directly at the sun, some people say a strange figure will come flying down towards you. These people are known as GabeN's descendants, and people say, once you see one, you are blessed for all eternity. But, there is one sighting, so rare, so magical, that if you see it, some say you will grow up to be almost of GabeNs status. You will hear in the distance the chanting of "GabeN, GabeN, GabeN" and will have the sudden urge to buy keys. You will unbox, and receive an item of great significance. A GabeN Voucher. You can redeem it, and when you do, the chanting will come back, and a strange winged figure will fly through the window, with holy rays radiating from it's crown. It. Is. GabeN.....

Thank you for reading, and I hope we have helped teach you about our lord GabeN. Props if you got all the references, too, post below to tell me if you did <3

[NEON⁧⁧ABYSS]

sheesh

[D-maV]

Glad to see there are still followers of the faith out there sir

[Mr. Lime]

all hail father gabeN

[JackBurton]

[SgtFopper™]

GabeN loves this Bible. Thanks alot!

[DeltaQDelta]

oh damn what do you know Part 3 actually happened

[CyberNeb Rotqueen]

I'm gonna try to write a much longer gaben bible with my friends

[Sauceman12125]

SHUN THE CONSOLE GAMERS FOR THEY HAVE BROUGTH GREAT PAIN TO VALVE

ALL HAIL GREAT LORD GABEN

[Plhype Spookwagens Toon Cousin]

the church of hoodbeardism

[Plhype Spookwagens Toon Cousin]

Shady it already does