It was just a regular hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I know, Senjogahara. She is really fu**ing hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Senjogahara called me and said she wanted me to her. So be it. I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my ♥♥♥♥. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my ♥♥♥♥. Booya. Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch ♥♥♥♥ is going inside of her ♥♥♥♥♥, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm ****ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my ♥♥♥♥. There had to have been about two pints of ♥♥♥ everywhere. People say I ♥♥♥ like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them. I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.


When I hack in an online videogame, I get a rush. The same heart fluttering rush I'd see a minority get on a public train for flashing his penis. It's truly exhilarating. Currently I am paying 400 Euros a year for premium no VAC cheats, and a speech therapist to help me counter-act hacking accusations.