If u suck your own d ick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation.
Ok so hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body, that is ofcourse ... due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation is the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your d ick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your d ick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own d ick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old d ick. and you're a pedophile. that's all i wanted to say !

Ingredients:
1. 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
2. 1/2 cup white sugar
3. 1/2 cup brown sugar
4. 1/4 cup water
5. 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
6. 1 pinch salt
7. 5 apples - peeled, cored and sliced
8. 1 pastry for double-crust pie
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
2. Combine butter, white sugar, brown sugar, water, cinnamon, and salt in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil, remove heat and set aside.
3. Roll out half the pastry to fit a 9-inch pie plate. Place bottom crust in pie plate; pour in apple slices.
4. Roll out top crust into a 10-inch circle. Cut into 8 wide strips with a pastry wheel. Weave pastry strips into a lattice pattern. Fold the ends of the lattice strips under edge of bottom crust and crimp.
5. Pour butter-sugar mixture over pie, coating lattice, and allowing any remaining sauce to drizzle on crust.
6. Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes. Reduce to 350 degrees F, and bake until filling is bubbling, 35 to 40 more minutes.

["Endgame"; Callsignalpha24 is lying on the ground, stabbed in the chest by Ryce_cubed]
Ryce_cubed: Five years ago, I lost 30,000 men in the blink of an eye... and the world just ♥♥♥♥♥♥' watched.
[he reloads his revolver]
Ryce_cubed: Tomorrow, there will be no shortage of volunteers, no shortage of patriots.
[he prepares to execute Callsignalpha24]
Ryce_cubed: I know you understand.

"Wanna play War Thunder?"

mongolian