(2/2) Near the end of the match, he began grunting and moaning "Isabel" into the mic, and I could hear the faint sounds of him masturbating. After a few minutes, he let out a gutteral "uurgghh..." and some loud squelching sounds. He then said "The stack claims another" before disgracing Kobe's name and pitching the soggy paper ball at the pile. There was an audible splat, and he shouted "Oh, we got a sticker!" supposedly in response to the tissue getting stuck to the wall.

From the rest of the comments on this profile, it seems like this isn't an isolated incident, and he's perpetuated this kind of behavior in several other matches. I'm genuinely appalled at the fact that people like this walk the same streets as the rest of us. I feel deeply sorry for anyone who has to interact with this man in the future.

(1/2) Last night, I had the extreme displeasure of getting matched with this person while playing Counter Strike.

For the entire match, he would exclusively talk in an anime protagonist voice, and refused to stop when asked by his teammates. He repeatedly used terms like "derp" and "baka," and called his teammates "puppy boy" and "pookie." He screamed "boom, headshot!" every time he got a kill. He also felt it important to tell us his masturbation habits. When the other players told him that he was making them uncomfortable, he simply ignored them and continued telling us about his schedule, favorite websites, categories, and his "jack stack," the pile of used tissues in the corner of his room that he's accrued over years of masturbation.

Eventually, one of our teammates got fed up and called him a "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ loser", at which point he began sobbing uncontrollably. He continued crying for about 10-15 minutes, not stopping until the offending teammate apologized.

That does it. You will be hearing from my lawyers imminently. Instead of responding with an apology letter like a functioning member of society. You sent me a picture of your ♥♥♥♥ and balls stuck in a chain link fence with the word "snosu" on it. This is disgusting behavior and I hope all your victims including myself find the justice we deserve. You sick man.

For the final time. PLEASE stop making unwanted sexual advances towards me in professional settings. This is NOT a joke. This is SEXUAL HARASSMENT. If you continue to act this way towards me and your teammates, they will pursue LEGAL ACTION. I know this may seem normal to you, but this NOT how you conduct yourself in personal and professional environments. So for the last time, DO NOT make any further advances towards me or your teammates or I will contact the authorities.

Please stop sending me pictures of your genitalia it is unbearable and depraved.

Dear Reader,

As Shadow's primary father figure in his life, I'd like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize for his behavior on the internet. He often internalizes his rage and expresses it online via the use of phrases and slurs I would never approve of. In addition to this, he will often leave his teammates mid game for something he refers to only as a "jerk-sesh". One can only imagine the horrors he commits during these moments, but I try very hard not to think about it with little success, as I can hear him moaning through the walls and yelling, "Isabelle" in reference to the animal crossing character. I highly recommend you block him before he can negatively affect your game. Thanks and once again, my sincerest apologies for any actions he may commit while in your ranked matches.


Sincerely, Snosu