👴🏻BIDEN JUST CAME OUT AS BYE SEXUAL 👋👋 Sleepy Joe Biden 😴💤🛌 is finally BACKING DAT ASS 🍑UP ⬆️and OUT OF THE RACE 🏎️🏁 before he can finish 🍆🫐Soon he will be DISCHARGING 🍆💦his duties 💩as HOE-TUS 🦅 and saying GOODBYE 👋 to the HOE-VAL OFFICE 😮‍💨These WHOREABLE Delegates 🐀 have their FOOT 🦶on his neck and TOES IN HIS MOUTH 👅🥵 NO MORE ❌🙅‍♂️ OLD 👴🏻D1CK FOR US 🍌Send this to 47 of your most HORNY💦voters 🗳️if you get 0️⃣ back you’ll get 4️⃣more years of BAD sex 😭😞👎🏼🔟 back, you are in for a SEXXXY surprise 😲🙀 If you get 4️⃣7️⃣➕back then you’ll be SCREAMING 🎤😱 for a new nominee ALL NIGHT LONG 😙🌌🌝

THAT’S RIGHT NEW YORK 🗽🏙️ You just felt a GIRTHquake 😳 with a VAGnitude 🫦🌹 of 4.8 🙌🏼 on the DICKter scale.😈🍆 Your bed was ROCKING💥your ass was SHAKING🌀all because Planet Earth’s 🌎fault lines are SO TIGHT 😵‍💫🤫 It’s NOT over YET 😲 Get ready for the AfterCOCKS 🌶️ so you can really JIGGLE 😩 your plate TIT-TONICS 🍒 Send this text 📲 to all your sluttiest 😝C0ck Sizemologists 📏 If you get 0️⃣ back, you have a CRUSTY 🐈 If you get 5️⃣ back, your 🥵HOT 🔥 LIQUID 💦 CORE will ERUPT 🌋 If you get 🔟 back, your BUSSY 🕳️ will be the EPICENTER 🎯

2023 Spotify Wrapped

Hello. It's wrapped time. Ready? Let's do this.

You jerked off 968 times. That's 13 days non stop.

Your d♥ck got erect 5821 times. You're top 7% among men.

You f♥cked 0 b♥tches this year, and last year, and the year before that. Lmfao.

While your crush was getting piped, you had one song on repeat:

Your top song of the year was Mask by Dream. (This is why your father left lol.)

But that wasn't the only song in your rotation.

Your top songs:

#1 I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself by Elton John

#2 I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself by Elton John

#3 I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself by Elton John

#4 I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself by Elton John

#5 Squid Game Music by BTS

Please delete your account. (You are acoustic.)

That was fun. Same time next year?

I realized that I'm not gay I just have a penis kink.

For example I think that girls with penises are way more attractive than men with penises because while I'm very attracted to penis Imalso very attracted to femininity so girls with large feminine penises are really what I'm into so I'm not gay, I just like penises on girls.

There are virgins, there are asexuals and even those that don't enjoy sex, but you, my friend... Oh you... You are un♥♥♥♥able. You exhale the anti-sex, your aura repels the female, there's probably a force field around you that prevents a woman from touching you.

The movie Minions, Rise of Gru, is unequivocally the greatest film of the decade, for now I question whether I, and humanity as a species, are worthy of this life changing masterpiece. Immaculate, extravagant, and brilliant are nowhere near enough to describe this film. This movie was truly encompassing of all emotions, along with profoundly polished animation, near flawless lip-syncing, and subtle and powerful moments of comedy. The scene where the minions comply with a request for peanuts by giving not the bag, but a single peanut, made the theater roar with applause, and led to a standing ovation in the middle of the film. In fact, that scene was a subtle criticism of the current economic "situation" regarding inflation, or shrinkflation, to be more accurate. However, the movie also includes more wholesome scenes, such as when the Minions (very graciously) almost crash an airplane with live passengers into an air traffic control tower.