S tier mercy enjoyer

I used to play Fortnite all night. No sleep! But ever since Obama told me to try Raid Shadow Legends for free, I am addicted. This game is a game. It has graphics. It has characters. Best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! Two week ago I spend all my money becoming a Raid Shadow Legend. Now I live in a dumpster outside a McDonald’s with free WiFi. At night I sneak into the McDonald’s like my new raccoon dad, Stripey, taught me to do so I can charge my phone. Through the cracked screen I am still perpetually amazed by the graphics of this game... they look so real! Thank you Obama, you truly changed my life

7 SIGNS YOU’RE GETTING BETTER AT GAMING:

1.You wake up in the morning with Eminem music in your head

2.You cover yourself in the blood of minorities

3.Friends introduce you as “a hazard to everyone’s safety”

4.Friends ask you to please obey the constraints of the restraining order

5.You find famous rappers you think you can gun down in the streets

6.You start cancelling things to go commit hate crimes

7.People start asking if you have confederate flags for sale

8.You listen to Eminem

yarr....a pirate, and a girl? lifts eyepatch, eyes bulge out, my parrot squacks "Braaawwwk! Thar she blows!", i thump my pegleg on the ground like a horny rabbit, sound of a dock bell being rung as i sway from side, my pirate hat lifts a foot off my head, popeye theme plays, my tongue rolls out to reveal a picture of the jolly roger which proceeds to animate and wolf whistel yarr!!! my parrot knocks me on the head lile a woodpecker yar!! what ye be doin, polly? my parrot grabs mw by the collar with one wing and slaps me with the other yarr... i shake my head rapidly, regain my composure, adjust my pirate hat er...ye be lookin beautiful today, matey

A girl....AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO ♥♥♥♥ inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd

This person gave me :
Acne
ADD
ADHD
AIDs
Allergies
Alzheimer's
Altitude sickness
ALS
Anxiety
Ass worms
Asthma
Autism
Birth Defects
Bipolar disorder
Blood clot
Bone marrow disease
Brain Cancer
Breast cancer
Broken bones
Cancer
Carbon monoxide poisoning
Cardiac arrest
Chicken pox
Colon cancer
COPD
Common cold
Diabetes (type 2)
Diarrhea
Down syndrome
Dyslexia
E. coli
Ear infection
Ebola
Epilepsy
Flu
Gonorrhea
Gum disease
H1N1
Hay fever
Heart attack
Heart disease
Heart failure
Heartburn
Hemophilia
Hepatitis C
Herpes
Hiccups
HIV
High Blood Pressure
Hypothermia
Joint pain
Kidney failure
Lead poisoning
Lice
Loa Loa
Lung cancer
Lyme disease
Malaria
Measles
Migraine
Nausea
OCD
Osteoporosis
Pharyngitis
Polio
Prostate cancer
Psoriasis
PTSD
Rabies
Severed nerve
Schizophrenia
Shingles
Sickle cell
Skin cancer
Smallpox
STDs
Stroke
Tape worms
Terminal cancer
Testicular cancer
Throat cancer
Tuberculosis
Tumors
Ulcers
Urinary tract infection
West Nile virus
Yellow fever