Recent reviews by DaxterM89

-boot up for the first time

-actually make it onto an online server so apparently made it further than most-nice

-bumble-♥♥♥♥ around on one of the newbie islands learning the ropes and gathering materials

-an hour passes and I've got enough materials for a small 2 sailed ship, soon enough I'm sailing off giving the newbie islands the finger

-10 minutes later two frigates that dwarf my mighty dingy roll up and opens fire in front of me demanding I let them board
#get♥♥♥♥edm8

-they open fire and damage my ship enough that it starts to sink, they invite me on board if I want to live

-they allow me to join their ranks if I stay on a cannon and don't come off it unless I'm told to in exchange for my life and
daily supplies of food, milk and grog

-beginning to think people are taking this game a little serious but oh well i can probably have fun with this

-make and write a note suggesting a mutiny in which we steal some weapons from the hold then kill anyone who stands against us, finish the note with "PASS IT ON" and dropped the note in front of the guy on the next cannon

-see a few people start disappearing below deck and coming back again, couple minutes later fighting breaks out before I can even get hold of a weapon

-turns out someone destroyed the bed of every crew member before the fighting broke out ~good thinking I suppose

-almost as soon as the last loyalist dies the other frigate opens fire on us, we manuvre the ship round but due to all the cannons being on one side this took a while, we managed one volley before the ship was sinking

- four of us climb aboard the other frigate in desperation, only to be blackjacked unconcious and put in cages below deck

-spent half hour or so in the cage, two of the others are brought above deck, apparently one was pushed overboard and the other was hanged on the deck

-we finally get escorted off the ship in cuffs and into an impressive sized fort, must be quite a distance from the newbie islands as there was a snowy climate instead of tropical weather

-thrown in a gibbet in the main square along with the only other mutineer

-he rats me out as the organiser of the mutiny instead of blaming one of the already dead dudes #amateur

-another 10 minutes pass and I'm let down from the gibbet and escorted to the gallows in the centre of the fort

-get given an awkwardly detailed eulogy by what sounded by Cletus from the Simpsons, more or less addressing the fact that I caused the loss of one of their largest ships and a large amount of supplies that were on board and now I'll be KOS'd by their whole company from now on

-hanged by the neck until dead in front of a couple dozen newbs

-back at newbie island ready to do it all again :D

10/10

Literally impossible to lose your 10mm socket

10/10

-Kicked a midget
-Gave an 8foot football player a swirly
-Made a fat kid piss himself
-Shot a christmas elf in the balls with a metal slingshot
-Threw a rotten egg at santa
-Ran over a young child with a go kart
-Beat down a cheerleader with a baseball bat

After such a stressful day I can come home and play a game like Bully to unwind and ignore all the backlash I'll have to deal with tomorrow.

11/9 "Its Ok"

>Started first ever game
>settlers and warriors appear two blocks from barbarian camp
>send warriors to mess up barbarians as their camp is on very good ground to build city
>warriors are mercilessly slaughted
>settlers molested to death
>game over
10/10 would get molested by big hairy men again