Skip this game.

Dark Souls 2 is the autistic, unwanted, smelly cousin of Dark Souls 1 and Dark Souls 3. Majula is pretty and the backstab animations are cool. THAT IS IT. There is nothing here. The game plays like crap, they somehow managed to make Dark Souls 2 feel more dated than the original Dark Souls. ♥♥♥♥ NATOSHI ZIN. The rolling is wacky, the estus sip animation is obnoxiously slow, and you can get hit going through the fog wall AND while backstabbing, opening doors, pulling levers and a whole host of other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥ NATOSHI ZIN. This game has 41 bosses. 41 bland, boring, repetitive, predictable, and sometimes downright broken bosses. Music, garbage, movesets, garbage, arenas, garbage, hotel? Trivago. ♥♥♥♥ DARKLURKER, ♥♥♥♥ LUD AND ZALLEN AND ♥♥♥♥ NATOSHI ZIN. There were brief periods of enjoyment and interest. Large emphasis on brief. It is as if Natoshi Zin, the accursed lead game designer of the pixelated digital torture that is dark souls 2, is a maniacal psychopath whom gets a Burj Khalifa sized erection every time a player must run five minutes to the disgusting Lud & Zallen boss fight because by the time they got to the boss fight the terrifying pony-seahorse-Poseidon cumchildren made sure to alleviate you from the burden of carrying a full estus flask. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ prick. The sheer amount of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is demonically weaved into the core of the game to ensure constant player suffering. Its clear that the anti-vaxx developers at the critically acclaimed (for absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nothing) B team at From Software intentionally created this game to piss people off. Pop the champagne guys, you did it. You really pissed me off. My entire journey through the trials and tribulations that were created by the devil’s own right fiery ball sack was mentally and physically gruesome. My hands red and sore from squeezing the controller, my forehead patchy and dry from my constant scratching and rubbing, my vocals chords shattered from screaming, and my ass sweaty from the anxiety of being invaded by a broken NPC super buffed by Natoshi Zin himself while I am on my last few estus sips. Dark Souls 1 and 3 are phenomenal games, with deep meaning, great satisfaction, and mastercrafted areas and bosses. Dark Souls 2 is a big heaping pile of steamy poopoo that I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Stay away from this game. Please.