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Recent reviews by Sgt Stacker

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Showing 1-10 of 58 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
5.7 hrs on record (5.7 hrs at review time)
Doesn't launch
Posted May 13.
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35 people found this review helpful
9 people found this review funny
2
11.2 hrs on record (10.3 hrs at review time)
The closest thing we are ever going to get to a Xavier Renegade Angel video game
Posted February 4.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
8.3 hrs on record (4.1 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Imagine you're a gun-toting hobo on a quest to help your underground community of other gun-toting hobos while the world is left in absolutely horrific ruins by a war that has raged on a number of decades between 3 1984-esque Superstates. Said Superstates are still engaging each other in open warfare while you try your damnedest not to get caught in the crossfire between all the walking living war crimes that they all deploy against one another in very inhospitable locations, which have not been worth fighting over for decades. This is the closest we're ever gonna get to a video game adaptation of Phil Tippett's Mad God, I highly recommend it as a guy who normally doesn't even like these extraction games.
Posted October 12, 2024.
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5 people found this review helpful
11.3 hrs on record (1.0 hrs at review time)
Strap in, because we're diving face-first into the neon-tinted cesspool of yesteryear's digital mayhem with "Kingpin: Life of Crime" – an anachronistic fever dream that slaps your grandma and laughs at the consequences. Imagine if a rabid raccoon snorted a line of codeine-laced pixels and puked out a video game, then you’ve got an inkling of what to expect here. It's 1999, baby, and this ain't just some Quake clone.

The story? Pshhh, who needs a story when you’ve got a meat grinder of profanity-laced dialogue spewing from every NPC's sewer mouth? You’re not just playing a game; you're marinating in a toxic broth of gangster gibberish and ultra-violence, spiced with a side of moral ambiguity and topped with the stink of a thousand cigarette butts. Protagonist Thug McBaldhead (or whatever his name is) stomps through this urban hellscape with the grace of a one-legged pigeon on meth, armed with a trusty lead pipe and a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush.

Graphically, it’s like staring directly into the sun after a 3-day bender – harsh, brutal, and slightly nauseating in the best way possible. The textures scream “grit” like they’ve been sandpapered off the soul of the city, and the character models? Oh boy. From a visual standpoint, it’s raw, it’s ugly, it’s perfect.

Gameplay? Imagine tying your shoes while riding a unicycle on a tightrope strung between two flaming skyscrapers. It's chaotic, clunky, and utterly exhilarating. You can recruit your own duo of misfit henchmen, and they're well worth the money you scrape together throughout the game. Combat is a symphony of savagery, a ballet of brutality where every weapon feels like it was pulled from the darkest corners of a deranged mafioso’s imagination.

And let's not forget the soundtrack! Oh, the soundtrack! Cypress Hill pumps through your veins like auditory adrenaline, making you feel invincible, or at least numb to the existential dread creeping up your spine. It’s like someone mashed up the angst of the '90s with a boombox full of angry bees, and it works. It just works.

Why do I recommend this masterpiece of madness? Because it's a rite of passage, a baptism by fire into the chaotic underbelly of the gaming world. It’s a time capsule from an era when games didn’t just break the mold; they shattered it, stomped on the pieces, and set them on fire. Play "Kingpin: Life of Crime" not only because it’s a good game, but because it’s an unforgettable experience – a rollercoaster ride through the deranged, pixelated underworld that will leave you questioning your sanity and begging for more.
Posted June 3, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
26.2 hrs on record
Accidentally ran over Darth Vader as a scout trooper and killed him just before the victory screen
Posted February 13, 2024.
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15 people found this review helpful
5.4 hrs on record (3.1 hrs at review time)
Another negative review for the pile. Now, let me start this off by saying, in my experience, this remaster is NOT nearly as bad as a lot of folks are making it out to be. BUT, is it the ideal way to play Kingpin as advertised? Not in its current state, the original is still far superior to this for now. ONLY, for now.

That being said, the devs have been very professional and responsive to the criticism they've been receiving over this, so give them time to fix and update it and I'm sure it'll turn around later down the line.
Posted December 8, 2023.
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2 people found this review helpful
191.3 hrs on record (171.3 hrs at review time)
This was good until the 3.0 update came and broke everything
Posted December 4, 2021. Last edited December 4, 2021.
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3 people found this review helpful
52.4 hrs on record (3.3 hrs at review time)
A darkly humorous satire of unregulated capitalism and biomechanical technology, this game's world is as vile and morally repulsive as can be, with visuals and sound design that reflect that cultural bankruptcy perfectly. I haven't even beaten the game yet and it's proving to be the best 20 dollar purchase I've made for a Steam game in the 3 hours I've played it as of writing this review. This game is not only exemplifies the cyberpunk ethos perfectly, but the punk ethos as well.
Posted August 7, 2021.
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Showing 1-10 of 58 entries