Your favorite sam and max quotes? (Or poker night)

[W a f f l e]

[Series Of Tubes]

Hit me again, I like it!
From the Sam and Max cartoon.
http://youtu.be/XpR-Misimgw?t=1m

[W a f f l e]

"You crack me up little buddy"
from every s&m game season.

[SomethingWet]

Sam and max in prison tv show
Sam Jeez if these walls can talk
Max I think it's best if they keep there mouths shut

[VolnuttHeroP64]

From Sam & Max S3-EP5 (Series Finale):
Sam: [dropping an egg into the corn dog batch] "One recipe to rule them all, and one egg for binding."
Max Spore: [flies by] Neeeeeeeerrrrrrrrdddddd!


From Sam & Max S2-EP1:
Max: Start crying or I'm gonna dip you in honey barbecue sauce and throw you to a polar bear!

Max: (referring to Stinky's sock, which is full of coal) That's what you get for lying all the time.
Sam: What do you think you get for reckless disregard for public safety?
Max: In my case, I got to be president.


From Sam & Max S1-EP3:
Sam: Does the carpet match the drapes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4fTRRuRrk
(Infamous Line EVER!)
Max: ...For cowards die a thousand deaths, while heroes die but one, unless they're playing video games in which case heroes die a lot too. So good night, Fresh Prince! And may Charlie's Angels sing me thee to thy rest.


From Sam & Max Hit the Road:
[Try to pick up a background object] (From Floppy Disk Version) Sam: I can't pick that up. [Try again] No, really, I can't pick that up. [and again] Are you dense? I can't pick that up. [and again] Read my lips. I... CAN'T... PICK... THAT... UP! [and again] I give up. (sob)
Max: Now you've done it. You've broken Sam's spirit with your stupid attempts to pick up object (Numbered Object. Example: #67 is the Coat Hanger). In fact, if I didn't find his pitiful sobbing so amusing, I'd come out and rip your limbs off! [Naturally, you'd try again.] Just ignore them, Sam. Maybe they'll go away.

[MagicPelagic]

When Stinky sr. says they dislike skunk ape because he's not a human, and sam and max just look at each other and shrug

[VolnuttHeroP64]

Sam & Max S1-EP1:
Sam: I... must... deliver... videos.
Sam: And another one bites the cheese.
Bosco: *After Sam draws out his Gun & gets Knocked by Bosco's Store Detector* Clean up on Asle 3!

Sam: *After paying $10K for the Tear Gas Gernade Launcher* This is a Salad Shooter filled with Onions.
Bosco: But it works, trust me.

*When the player uses the Bowling Ball on Specs from Sam & Max's Office*
Sam: Can you believe we get paid for this?
Max: I love this country. *Drops Bowling Ball on Specs*

*Repeated Line, when the Max is tossed into the air by Sam*
Max: Whee!


Sam & Max S1-EP2:
Jimmy Two-Teeth: The Skinbodies rule the Streets!
Sam: Sweet Mother of all Quiz Show scandals!
Sam *After using Ketchup on the Cake* A little Ketchup is always good on a cake.
Max: *After winning on "Who's Never Going to be a Millionare"* We're Rich! Filthy Rich!

Sam: *After paying $1 Million in Food Stamps for the Voice Modulator* This is a Helium Balloon Strapped to an Inhaler.
Bosco: But it works, trust me.


Sam & Max S1-EP3:
Sam: *After paying $10 Million in Game Tokens for the Listening Device* This is a Bug.
Bosco: But it works, trust me.


Sam & Max S1-EP4:
Max *After becoming the US President*: Who cares? I'm the President of the US! Let's go bomb someone into oblivion!
Sam: Not just anybody, Max. Abe Lincon Must Die!
Max: Yes!

Sam: *After paying $100 Million for the Truth Serum* This is a Bottle of Vodka.
Bosco: But it works, trust me.


Sam & Max S1-EP5:
*Mario Reference*
Sam: Hey, Max! It'sa me, Sam! *Collect the 3 Coins* Yeah!
Max: Sell out.

Blue Slime: Meep!

Internet: Enjoy your new Reality!

*After using the Save Point*
Internet: *After you Autosave* Your progress has been saved.

Sam: *After paying $1 Billion for the Computer Disease* We just paid a Billion Dollars for a Snot Rag?
Bosco: But it works, trust me.


Sam & Max S2-EP1:
Maimtron 9000: And another one bites, and another one bites, and another one bites the dust...

Tourture me Elmer Lines:
Whhhhyyyyy?!
Please... Kill me.
Why are you doing this?!
Waaaaahhhh!
I'll talk! I'll Talk!
Aaaaaahhh!
Aaaaaaaaiiiiiee!
N-n-n-n-no!
What did you do to my life?!
No more! I beg you!
I know my rights!

[If Sam & Max get too close to Santa from behind] Santa: You two again?! Hold still while I give you your present! *Starts Shooting*

Bad News: New Sam & Max Season
Worse News: Canada sells U.S to Macrohard Corporation


Sam & Max S3-EP3:
*During Sam's Rampage*
Sam (To Sign Spinner): Where's Skunkape?!
Sign Spinner: Weren't you paying attention?

Sam *Flicks Frankie*: TALK!
Frankie the Rat: Are you deaf or something?

Sam *After chosing "Leave"* (To Sign Spinner): Arrrrrgh!

Sam: (Repeated Lines):
LIAR!!!
YOU'RE LYING!!!
YOU'RE LYING!!! *Slaps Witness*
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?!
HURRY IT UP!
SKIP IT! *Attacks Witness*
GRRRR! *Threatens Witness with his Gun*

Sam (To Tourist): Let's hear your sad little story again! From the Top!
Tourist: Very Well...

Sam: TALK! WHERE'S SKUNKAPE?!
Bob Bell: Sam, no!
Sam: STOP HOLDING OUT ON ME!!!
Curt 286: Get away from her, you brute!
Chippy: *Beeps*


Sam & Max S3-EP4:
Sam *Blue 3: Giant Max Eats Sam*: Wahhhh...!
Sam *Blue 2: Max Cuts Sam's Head off*: FREEEEEEEEBIRRRRRRRRRD!

Sam *Blue 1: Max's Death*: Come Bitter Conduct, come unsavory guide! Thou Desprate Pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark! Here's to my love! *Drinks Wine* O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die. *Collapses*

[VolnuttHeroP64]

The Punch-Out!!! Scene in Sam & Max S2-EP1 with Boxing Betty as Little Mac, Wally "Glass Jaw" Puddlesniffer as Glass Joe, Bald Bullrat as Bald Bull & Jimmy Two-Teeth as Mike Tyson.

[Tea's Holly]

Max: Ack! Mother of mercy! Is this the end of little Maxie? Oh, Death! Where is that guy, Sting? Arghh! The pain! The pain! And only two days to retirement! You gotta promise... to... Tivo the Dukes of Hazzard for me! Promise me!
Ted E. Bear: Okay, so...
Max: For cowards die a thousand deaths, while heroes die but one! (Unless they're playing video games, in which case heroes die a lot, too.) So good night, Fresh Prince! And may Charlie's Angels sing thee to thy rest!
Ted E. Bear: Right, well...
Max: So... cold! Why am I... so cold?
Ted E. Bear: Okay. Good job, slave. I was just about ready to have you shoot him again.

[VolnuttHeroP64]

Originally posted by hooves | trade.tf:

Max: Ack! Mother of mercy! Is this the end of little Maxie? Oh, Death! Where is that guy, Sting? Arghh! The pain! The pain! And only two days to retirement! You gotta promise... to... Tivo the Dukes of Hazzard for me! Promise me!
Ted E. Bear: Okay, so...
Max: For cowards die a thousand deaths, while heroes die but one! (Unless they're playing video games, in which case heroes die a lot, too.) So good night, Fresh Prince! And may Charlie's Angels sing thee to thy rest!
Ted E. Bear: Right, well...
Max: So... cold! Why am I... so cold?
Ted E. Bear: Okay. Good job, slave. I was just about ready to have you shoot him again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0y3EymcHBw
You mean from Season 1 EP3?

[W a f f l e]

To all of you who have recently commented I want you to know that I appreciate you keeping this post from 2013 current :D Let the people of 2016 know our favorite quotes ^w^

[lemon]

S2 Ep 4 I think: (Sam mouthing George Washington nutcracker) Stick yer nuts in my mouth and I'll crack em!

[VolnuttHeroP64]

Originally posted by Lemonadeaholic:

S2 Ep 4 I think: (Sam mouthing George Washington nutcracker) Stick yer nuts in my mouth and I'll crack em!

Max wanting Krypton destroyed via Cruise Missile: "This will teach them to put me in the phantom zone!"

[1nteL]

Originally posted by Lemonadeaholic:

S2 Ep 4 I think: (Sam mouthing George Washington nutcracker) Stick yer nuts in my mouth and I'll crack em!

Yeah,that one was the best!But there was another great one for 104."I am the most powerful presidential memorial ever created!*Gets destroyed by Washington Memorial*