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Worse Item Descriptions

You ever think the game's too handholdy? Do you wanna bumble around like an idiot not knowing jack about anything you pick up?
If yes, this is the mod for you!

I've personally made every* item and trinket description more vauge or silly, without straying too far from the original game's style.

Also, because I can, I've changed some item's names to make them better. Namely, the double infestation/missing page/odd mush/etc problem, the pickaxe, and the dunce cap.
If you don't want the names changed, just go into the mod folder, ctrl+f it, and change it manually. It's so easy, even I could do it!

NEW 1.7.9a PATCH: it works. That's it.

If there are any mistakes or misspellings, please let me know!

Unfortunately, due to limitations, Birthright only works if I modify Players.xml, so it may clash with other mods that change that. Same with cards and PocketItems.xml. sorry.

(*some were already vauge enough, and if the desc explained something that was instantly identifiable i didn't bother. also, i'd like to see you make a new desc for 1up that isn't "Extra life")