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Pokemon - By the Pokedex
   
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Description
"I am the Pokedex, quite possibly the best invention since the Vibrating Waffle Slicer©. Professor Oak stumbled upon me whilst trying to create a cheap substitute for ranch dressing. I spent my early life as Oak's personal Walkman (and boy does he listen to some right crap, nothing but Lady Gaga and The BeeGees), but I soon worked my way to the top. There is nothing I don't know about Pokemon, and trust me I know some things that would make your hair stand on end. This is my collection of the most interesting characters of the Pokemon world."
Items (23)
Torkoal
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Torkoal, the coal Pokemon. The infamous Big Vinnie is one of the big players in the power struggle of the Hoenn criminal underworld. He was once feared across the land, but things changed when a plucky young Seedot exercised his power. Within a year Torko...
Magnemite
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Magnemite, the magnet pokemon. Magnemite is a nasty piece of work, he is a stereotypical "Bro", what many call a "douchbag". I once let him sleep on my couch for what I thought was to be one night. He was there for three weeks, one night he floated back, ...
Drowzee
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Drowzee, the hypnosis pokemon. It was once thought that he would follow in the less than reputable footsteps of his father Hypno the notorious child kidnapper. However he cast aside these expectations and joined a troupe of travelling bureaucrats. His spe...
Bidoof
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Bidoof, the god awful mouse pokemon. Ugh... everyone hates Bidoof (even me, the Pokedex). He has no redeeming qualities, he picks his nose and wipes it on your shoulder, he urinates in his boss's coffee mug, then throws it in his face. Once he pretended t...
Stunky
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Stunky, the skunk pokemon. Stunky is not actually related to the common skunk he is infact more related to the badger, however his severe IBS and stoic insistence in continuing to live off nothing but beans and garlic have led to this offensive comparison...
Rich Uncle Electrode
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Electrode, the ball pokemon. Electrode started life as a young unsuccessful inventor. In 1978 disaster struck, one of his patented Radioactive Parakeet Cleaners© exploded killing 3 people and seriously wounding two parakeets. Electrode knew however that t...
Pimp Muk
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Muk, the sludge pokemon. Fallen on hard times after the great pokedollar market crash, Muk could no longer support his young family. Resorting to less savoury business strategies, he dragged himself out of the gutter and began to run the streets. Anyone w...
Ditto
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Ditto, the transform pokemon. Poor Ditto, he had hopes, he had expectations. He went to university in 1999 to study economics with the dream of becoming a financial advisor. To pay his student debts he was forced to use his unique...talent. Pokemon from f...
Seedot
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Seedot, the Acorn Pokemon. Also known as the PokeDon, Seedot runs the most well established crime syndicate in Hoenn. He rose to the top after playing an influencial role in the downfall of Big Vinnie, the notorious Torkoal. Vinnie took exception to Seedo...
Spoink
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Spoink, the bounce Pokemon. Also known as Hank Brutus, it is a common misconception that Spoink will die if he loses his pearl. In fact this rumour was created in order for Spoink to become the greatest jewel thief in Zimbabwe. Spoink would burst into a j...
Onix
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Onix, the rock snake Pokemon. Onix was born into the carnival trade, his mother was a performing snake at a carnival in Massachusetts, who happen to catch the eye of a fancy young rock, by the name of Gustavson, and the rest is history. Onix is known for ...
Trubbish
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Trubbish, the trash bag Pokemon. The son of a doting banana skin and a wealthy box of discarded condoms Trubbish was born in 1992. He rose to fame in 2011 when a video of him smoking a sack of catnip and attempting to snort a packet of Oreos went viral. T...
Alomomola
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Alomomola, the caring Pokemon. Alomomola was once a humble teacher in a school of fish. Until one day in 2008 he received some devastating news, he had terminal Fin Fungus and would require a life saving operation. The esteemed Dr. Krabby informed him tha...
Bulbasaur
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Bulbasaur, the seed Pokemon. Fresh from his stint in rehab after becoming addicted to injecting BBQ sauce into his scrotum, Bulbasaur has recently become a born again Christian. Jesus came to him one particularly testing night when Bulbasaur had injected ...
Chatot
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Chatot, the music note Pokemon. Chatot is an avid ornithologist, a bird watcher if you will. Well that's what he told the Honourable Justice Oshawott when he was in court. Chatot had been arrested back in December for sneaking into the changing rooms in t...
Unown
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Unown, the symbol Pokemon. Unown is a nerd, he spends all day playing computer games, constructing complex algorithms for playing computer games and trolling n00bs all from the sanctity of his mother's basement. One day Unown attempted to engage in a soci...
Natu
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Natu, the tiny bird Pokemon. Natu used to be such a pathetic slob. He never used to lift a finger to help with any of the housework, leaving it all to his house mate, Denzel the Heracross. He instead opted to spend all day eating nachos in his underpants,...
Gourgeist
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Gourgeist, the pumpkin Pokemon. Behold the majestic Gourgeist. God's gift to women, men and everything in between. Gourgeist, or Jerry to his friends, is perhaps the nicest guy you could ever meet. He spends his day saving puppies from kennels and giving ...
Mr Mime
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Mr Mime, the barrier Pokemon. Technically not a Pokemon (actually a creepy guy in a suit) Mr David Mime is incredibly annoying. Trust me, we used to go to university together, back in the day. He would spend most of the day dancing naked, whilst standing ...
Registeel
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Registeel, the Iron Pokemon. Registeel started off his career as a small time actor, picking up several small roles here and there. His big break, however, came in 2006 when he accepted a role in an up and coming drama called "Dexter" he was to play Angel...
Diggersby
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Diggersby, the Digging Pokemon. After working for 20 years as a construction worker on the Kalos Route 22 Diggersby was unexpectedly made redundant. He did, however, have no one to blame but himself. Years of swiping supplies had finally caught up with hi...
Gastly
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Gastly, the Gas Pokemon. Since the original films came out in the mid 70s Gastly has been a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise. As a small child he fashioned his own lightsabre out of a fluorescent light tube, a gallon of petrol and 3 sets of fairly ligh...
Camerupt
Created by The Tapir of Regret
"Camerupt, the Eruption Pokemon. In the 1950s the Balkans were terrorised by a notorious crew of Camerupts, creatively named the "Kamerupt Krew". This crew gained infamy in 1952 when they went on a rampage around down town Bucharest. During this romp a row...