How to get Mad in the Dojo

How to enter the Mad Dojo and come out the other side.

Focus your Chi

Stand.
Do not Sit.
Breathe evenly.
Hold your controller in a relaxed manner.
Feel your Ninjaness flow through your body.

Play in loose clothing.
Better yet, play in a gi.
Better still, play naked.
I played naked and I beat the game.

Do not play naked near a window.
Do not play naked if it is cold.

Jump and Climb

Jump over the obstacles.
You have been warned.

Acid will kill you.
Bamboo will kill you.
Spikes will kill you.
Stalegmites will kill you.
Bombs will kill you.
Your own Shuriken will kill you.
Bottomless pits will kill you.

Climb walls.
Climb Bamboo, but beware the points (see above).
Climb more walls.

Do not fall.
Unless that is your strategy. Sometimes falling is good.
Do not fall into Acid.
Do not fall into the Bottomless Pits.

There is nothing that will not kill you.

Get Mad

When you die, release your Chi in wanton acts of violence.

Kick the chair.
Kick the desk.
Kick the wall.
Yell at the computer.
Accuse the Game Developers of being heartless, fun hating villains.

It is carthartic.
It is good for the soul.

Do not break your controller.
Do not break your computer.
Both of these would be bad.
I do not hold any responsibility for personal loss or injury.

Celebrate

Enjoy each milestone.
Hug each little victory to your frame.
Yell in triumph.
Howl in delight.

Shout heroic and uplifting obscenities at the monitor.
Make rude gestures with parts of your being towards the game.
(This clearly works better if playing naked - see above).

Be Resilient

You will achieve your goals.
Do not attempt to view a walkthrough of the game, it will diminish your victory.
You will get there in the end.

And one last tip

Your shuriken break other shuriken.
Incluing your own that get stuck in walls.

When facing the Shuriken Launchers, this will save your life......
.... if not your mind.

[Ejdrienik.]

Where is the files of this game?

[Pump-Action Pete]

Ahh gotcha! I'll grab some on sale next week.

[Grail]

I believe, Pete, that Chi is a hair-care product, currently sold at Target.

[Pump-Action Pete]

But where can I get Chi?