Her Majesty's SPIFFING Full Walkthrough + 100% Achievements Guide

This guide represents a full walkthrough of the game plus 100% achievements.
Since some of the achievements are mutually-exclusive, specific savepoints have been taken into consideration in order to obtain 100% completion in a single playthrough.

Tea Break

After the intro sequence, offer to make a cup a tea for Jones.

Talk to Jones and examine him several times (5 x "Examine object") until the achievement pops up.
[Can be done at any point in time.]

Every breath you take

Look intently at Sub Lieutenant Jones


Get out of your chair by clicking on the left side of the screen.

One small step...

Commence your mission on board the HMSS Imperialise!


Push up the tray table located on the back of your chair.
Pick up the SAFETY INSTRUTIONS (they're on the back of the chair, under the tray).
Exit the cockpit.

On the wall next to the map there is a gravity simulation switch; examine it and try to use it.

The Gravity Simulation Switch

Examine the Gravity Simulation Switch


Go to the right and enter the sitting room. Afterwards go to the kitchen.
Pick up ENGLISH'S MUG and ALED'S MUG from the table.

Talk to G.E.R.T.E.A. several times until the achievement unlocks.

Bring me my detonators!

Talk to G.E.R.T.E.A. about British villains


Fill both of the mugs with tea by using them with G.E.R.T.E.A.
Open the fridge and take CHEDDAR CHEESE.
Pick up WASHY LIQUID.

Try to add WASHY LIQUID to both cups of tea.

Inconceivable" achievement

Attempt to mix washing up liquid and tea


For two funny sequences, you can also play with the toaster and go to the left to open the Inconspicuous Door.
Go back to the cockpit.

Save your game. SAVEPOINT1

Give Jones ENGLISH'S MUG.

Sharing is caring" achievement

Give Sub Lieutenant Jones English's tea

Reload your game from SAVEPOINT1.

Give Jones ALED'S MUG. He will take a tea break and you will be tasked to fly the ship.
Start pressing random buttons.

When you see the message that that the fuel cell has been ejected, move the lever near your left hand forward. Make sure to interact with the big lever under your left hand only when the black box (fuel cell) is in front of the ship, else you won't hit it.

Call Autoglass!

Crash into ejected fuel cell when at the controls of the HMSS Imperialise




Keep pressing random buttons until you'll break the controls.

Stranded

Exit the cockpit.
You need to find a way to replace the damaged controls of the ship.
Go to the sitting room.
Pick up the CONTROLLER (it's near the TV).
Go to the bedroom.
Try to open the left cupboard but it is stuck.
Pick up the BATTERIES from the floor.

Step over the football players and crush one of them.

Leg breaker

Crush a table top football player


Move towards the right side of the screen until you see a sink.
Pick up the RUBBER GLOVE from the sink.
Go back to the cockpit and sit down on your chair.
Open your inventory and combine BATTERIES with the CONTROLLER.
Give the controller to Jones.
He will tell you that you need to install the drivers first.

Drivers

Exit the cockpit and go to the sitting room.
Try to use the computer and the floppy disk. The disk is stuck.

Open your inventory and examine the SAFETY INSTRUTIONS.
Turn them on the other side and remove the PAPERCLIP.

Don't show me this tip again

Locate the paperclip


Use the PAPERCLIP on the floppy drive.
Take the FLOPPY DISK.
Open your inventory and examine it, turn it around and unlock it by sliding the little button with a lock indicator, on the bottom right.
Put the FLOPPY DISK back into the drive and interact with the computer in order to copy the drivers unto the floppy disk.
Take the FLOPPY DISK out from the drive again.
Open your inventory and examine it.

Turn the disk around and press the lock button again.

One can never be too careful

Ensure no one can erase the driver


Go back to the cockpit and sit down (Jones is sleeping).

Use your cup of tea on him.

I can't believe you've done this!.

Wake up Sub Lieutenant Jones


Give Jones the FLOPPY DISK.

Hard Reset

Exit the cockpit.
Go to the hatch and open it.
Try to fit down the hatch - you won't be able to slide down since you are too big.

Save your game. SAVEPOINT 2

Use your washy liquid on the hatch. You will be then able to slide down.

What a thrill

Use the ladder like a boss

Reload your game. SAVEPOINT 2

Go to the sitting room.

Use the treadmill. You will need to press the buttons fast enough till the achievement pops.

Cardio, bruh

Break a sweat when using the treadmill


Go back to the hatch. You will now be able to slide down.
Go to the airlock.
Use the RUBBER GLOVE with the air compressor.
Turn on the air compressor.
Pick up the RUBBER GLOVE again.
Exit the airlock.
Go to the left into the engineering room.
Climb down the ladder.
Search the tool box; you will find a SCREWDRIVER.
Use the glove on the electrified gate in order to open it.
Go through the gate and use the power switch to perform the hard reset.
Go back out through the gate.

Tinkering

Exit the engineering room, go back up the ladder to the cockpit. The spaceship is now on auto-pilot.
Go to the sitting room, you'll find Jones sitting at a table, on the left side of the kitchen door.
Talk to him, he'll ask you to find him a replacement for the broken motor.

Motoring

Save your game. SAVEPOINT 3

Go to the bedroom.

Open the left cupboard using the SCREWDRIVER.

She's behind you!

Find the replacement motor


You can pick up the motor from the floor and give it to Jones, but you won't be able to unlock the "Premium Engineering" achievement.

Reload your game. SAVEPOINT 3

Give the SCREWDRIVER to Jones, and you will end up controlling the rover.
Move it around the room a bit, and then you will send it outside.

Drive around until you find another camp

Premium Engineering

Locate the French camp while driving the Beagle Two Too

Surface

Search the supply crate, pick up the binoculars.
Examine the area around the spaceship, you'll find 4 rocks.









Talk to Jones, and then climb down the ladder.
Examine the lower area and find another 2 rocks.

+1 Geology

Examine all the rocks on the planet surface


Go towards the left of the ladder, till you see the Statue of Liberty.

Damn You All!

Maybe it was earth all along?


Go towards the camp discovered by the Rover.
On your way there you'll find a shrubbery. Examine it and pick up TROWEL.
A bit further you'll find the rover. Examine it and pick up ROCK.
Talk to the French astronaut.

You can select any of the options during the conversation. When selecting "By the power of Greyskull!" the following achievement will trigger:

Cringer

Summon the Power of Greyskull to distract Antoine and Pierre


Talk to Jones, he will suggest you go back to the ship in order to find something to distract the French party.
Go back up the ladder and enter the spaceship.

Coup D'état

Exit the airlock, go past the ladder into the lab.
Examine the frog tank. It doesn't appear to be working.
Examine the Gramophone, and pick up the RECORD.
Examine the box on the chair.

Examine the typewriter. Save and reload the game using the typewriter menu in order to trigger the achievement.

Master of Unlocking Achievements

Save game progress using the typewriter

Exit the lab, go back to the upper deck, enter the sitting room and then the bedroom.
Walk to the bathroom and use the TROWEL on the cat litter. You'll receive METAL DETECTOR.
Go back to the sitting room.
Use the METAL DETECTOR with the couch to receive PURSE.
Go back to the lab through the hatch.
use the PURSE with the frog tank.
Try to catch a frog, but you will not succeed.
Examine the RECORD. Turn it on Side B (Lilypad Lullabies). It should show now in your inventory having a red circle in the center.
Use the RECORD with the gramophone.

Use the bicycle and start to pedal. Look at the indicator on the gramophone and set your pedaling speed to keep the gauge in the green section.

Lullabies to paralyze

Put frogs to sleep


Now use the frog tank again - make sure you miss the frogs on your first attempt.

#NailedIt

Fail to catch a frog even when they are asleep


After a successful attempt, pick up the FROG from the prize drawer.

Examine the box on the chair a second time.

... and simultaneously locked

Observe Schrödinger's cat both alive and dead


Exit the spaceship and go to the French camp.

Important! When talking to the French astronaut, don't try to use the cheese on him without having it combined with the frog first, otherwise you won't be able to obtain the "Cheese sir, I want some more" achievement.

Combine the FROG with CHEDDAR CHEESE. Use the combined item on on Antoine.

Talk to Jones and ask for more frog and cheese.

Cheese sir, I want some more

Acquire a second block of cheese


Use just the CHEDDAR CHEESE on the French astronaut. He will shoot holes in it.
Combine the FROG with CHEDDAR CHEESE (with the holes in it) once again and use the result on Antoine.

Rule Britannia

Go up the ramp inside the French spaceship.
Throw ROCK at the emergency stop switch.
If you previously tried to throw the rock at Antoine, go back outside in the area where he sat and you will find the rock laying on the ground.

While the power is out, throw the WASHY LIQUID in the washing machine. (If the power has been restored in the meantime, throw the rock at the emergency stop switch again - you can find the rock in front of the washing machine.)

Bubbles!

Place washing liquid inside washing machine before it's activated


Pick up the rock and use it on the emergency stop switch again.
Then pick up the rock one last time and use it on the washing machine. This will completley destroy the machine.
Go outside and interract with the French flag.
Scroll through the songs on the music player untiddddl you get to the national anthem "God Save The Queen".

Watch the ending sequence.

That's all we could afford

Complete Her Majesty's SPIFFING: The Empire Staggers Back

[Zorro]

thx

[PunkSteve]

Just bought this on sale, looks like it could b good.
Thanks for making the Guide Lilly.

[Challenger2uk]

Thanks for the guide, well written and laid out. I think the cat in the box has to be interacted with not examined, not sure as I did both. First play through I didn't get the achievement and I did examine on both occasions, second time I examined and interacted with.

[Ultima]

Thanks Lilly !

[coldreactive]

If you sued the washy liquid previously in the game (which you can do) you can instead use the rock on the security system / washing machine to destroy it as well.

[チェリーパイ CherryPie]

Great. Thanks, Lilly.

[harlequen2]

Thanks for the great guide Lilly

[Quebec Dragon]

Merci for the guide, Lilly. It helped me more than once. Cheers!

[🍒 Lilly (🌸◠‿◠)]

@lylat: Thank you very much, I added your note.

[lylat]

Amazing guide, thanks!
I was also confused a bit by the "Call Autoglass!" achievement. I think you should add that they have to interact with the big lever under your left hand only when the black box (fuel cell) is in front of the ship, else you won't hit it.