Fortune Cookie quotes

List of all Fortune Cookie quotes that can be found in game.

Om nom nom nom...

• Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin
  
• You're never too old to learn something stupid.
  
• With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
  
• I love the smell of cookies in the morning. Smells like... Cookies.
  
• The forecast calls for... Death? Yup. I'm just seeing a whole lot of death. Bummer for you, I guess.
  
• 'Fućk Confucius'. - Bill Hicks. *
  
• He who takes advice from a cookie is sure to crumble.
  
• Confucius say it is easy to hate and difficult to love. Frankie say relax.
  
• You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice.
  
• Thank you Lo Wang! But your fortune is in another cookie!
  
• All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.
  
• Help! I am being held prisoner in a video game factory.
  
• The good news: you're not paranoid. The bad news: everyone is actually trying to kill you.
  
• You are not illiterate.
  
• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.
  
• Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a great hand.
  
• The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is all a mater of taste.
  
• Your mom says hi.
  
• Add 'in bed' to this fortune to make it super sexy. In bed!
  
• Lucky numbers: 23, 34, 42, 69, 666.
  
• Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  
• There is no cookie.
  
• You're the best. Around. Nothing's ever going to keep you down.
  
• It's time to kick áss and chew bubble gum. And... Oh look! Here's my gum! *
  
• It is better to have loved and lost than to have had loved and gotten syphilis.
  
• 404: Fortune not found.
  
• (C)2013 Flying Wild Fortune Cookie Company.
  
• A Wang in the hand is worth two in the bush.
  
• Ingredients: wheat, sugar, lysergic acid diethylamide, yellow #5.
  
• These aren't the cookies you're looking for.
  
• Some mistakes are too fun to make only once.
  
• Courtesy is contagious. So is gonorrhea.
  
• The Wang abides.
  
• No one ever died of a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they look on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people.
  
• Whoever coined the phrase 'quiet as a mouse' never stepped on one.
  
• What's a seven-letter word for 'cryptic'?
  
• You will find a fortune cookie.
  
• Cookie Monster wasn't here.
  
• That's what Ki said.
  
• No Wang is an island.
  
• This is my katana, this is my gun. One for killing, the other's for... OK, the other's also for killing.
  
• Live Wang and prosper.
  
• Some days you're the pigeon, other days you're the statue. Today is more of a statue day.
  
• Fortune favors those who shoot the bold right in their stupid bold faces.
  
• All your cookie belong to us.
  
• Live each day like it's your last. Or at least today, because... Oh I don't want to spoil it.
  
• Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people look brilliant, until you hear them speak.
  
• Chew, or chew not. There is no pie.
  
• Cardboard belt is a waist of paper.
  
• To maintain perfect accuracy, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  
• The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets cheese.
  
• Baseball has it wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
  
• You will stop procrastinating. Later.
  
• To be is to do. - Socrates
  To do is to be. - Sarte
  Do be do be do. - Sinatra
  
• Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
  
• Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best. - FZ
  
• Man who drops soap in prison shower is super bummed.
  
• There can be only Wang.
  
• You will be attacked by demons.
  
• Small cookies bring great joy.
  
• That's all, folks! Don't toss your cookies!

* spelled with "ć" and "á" because of Steam censorship

[aboza83]

I got a fortune cookie that says
* You will kill SARS 2 Covid engineer Dicktator Xi Mao Jing-pencil-dick & CCP/CPC & PLA Communist demons,& Take the commie gold bullion bars you will pay some of the gold 2 local democracy resistance fighters, like champ.

[dellyfry]

Awesome! Thx for this!

[mehighsk]

you forgot A,like asshole c, like champ

[chucky515]

thx!

[zmanandtails]

Not an expert on the this stuff, but I imagine you should be able to get the jingle that plays when one opens by recording the audio with OBS Studio and then removing the other noises (level music, sound effects, etc.), to isolate the Audio. Can’t help you with the animation I’m afraid.

[ZornyPooh]

Is there a way to extract the animation and the sound so that I can use this as a Twitch alert?

[VivPunk]

harambe was an inside job

[Underqualified Gunman]

my first cookie was "to maintain perfect accuracy shoot first and call whatever you hit the target"
rather funny since i was adjusting the mouse sensitvity for shadow warrioir in the 30 minute time span that cookie appeared

[Bog]

my first one was Fuck confusis

[dab]

To be is to do. - Socrates
To do is to be. - Sarte
Do be do be do. - Sinatra