To New Players: Creating a New Character+Advanced Tactics

Today I want to share with you the best way to start a new game, a totally flawless technique, totally OP and all that. This is totally recommended for New Players, so, if you bought this game in a Sale and you want to play it because you saw PewDiePie playing it, this is for you. At the same time, if you are experienced, this is for you too, so, if you have all achievements, more than 500 hours on record, you're welcome too. Also, want to share with you some Advanced Tactics, so, grab a cup of Dark Coffee, some Cigarrettes if you want, and let's go right to it.

Preparing the Game

Ok, first of all, you gon need to Prepare your game. I totally recommend downloading some Mods, I will provide you the links for the all the Mods that are totally needed for you to have the best experience in the game.

First of all, you gon need DSFIX, get it here:
http://www.nexusmods.com/darksouls/mods/19/?
With this Mod you will be able to enable Fullscreen, 60fps, Resolutions beyond 720p (wich is the native resolution of every person's eyes in Japan for some reason) and a lot more, specially it will allow you to override textures. Remember to enable that option.

Second of all, PVP Watchdog, get it here:
http://www.nexusmods.com/darksouls/mods/849/?
This Mod will help you to identify some cheaters, will prevent your game from crashing while interacting with people with long names or strange characters on their names, and will tell you how many nodes you have while playing. Nodes are connections to other players.

You will need DSCM too, go here:
http://wulf2k.ca/PC/DaS/DSCM.html
So, there you can download DSCM, don't be afraid of the Page, it may look like a Deepweb site trying to sell you something totally illegal, but it is not. You see, DSCM is a totally awesome tool that helps you Join the Multiplayer in just a few seconds. Totally usefull for this game experience.

And last but not least, you gon need this mod:
http://www.nexusmods.com/darksouls/mods/491/?
This Mod adds nipples to Queelag. Thank me later. You can see how to install this in the same page from the Nexus.

Creating your Character

Now, to create a Character, let's see, the name is not really important, because it's really probable that nobody ever know the name of your character, everytime you interact with someone they will see your Steam Profile name, so, name it how you want.

Now, on creating the face, it's really important that you shine here as much as possible. The face of your character will be seen by other players so try to look good and authentic.

Like that. Oh my God, it's like I'm looking at a Mirror.

Remember, your Class MUST be DEPRIVED. Your Gift CAN be the Master Key. If you want. You can't always choose your Gift. Well in this case you can, it's like your Birthday. Oh, today is my Birthday. Look, how Random.

So, as I said: Deprived+Master Key. You'll thank me later.

Undead Asylum

Now the fun begins.

Grab the key that the dude dropped for you.

Follow the Path. You eventually will find a Bonfire. Light it up.

Open the big doors and visualize those torches.

Run Son!

Once you safe. You'll see another bonfire. Keep up until you find your gear. First yo shield man.

Once you have yo shield, equip it and deal with that dude that was throwing arrows at you. It's really important that you deal with him right now, because reasons.

He-dead.

Now grab your trusty club and equip it.

Now you keep pushing until you find some stairs and stuff. When you almost at the top, you'll see some giant pinball ball commin at ya. Roll to your right man.

Down there, you'll find a door. Open it, and you'll see that it's the part right before the first b0ss. Oh my god this is magic and stuff.

Go up again and you'll see that the giant pinball made a hole trough a wall and stuff. Oh man, go there ASAP.

You will find your homie there. Talk to him, and just say yes. He will tell you his story, that he wanted to be a Professor, but his dad kicked him out of the house because he gay. So he arrived to Lordran and he bacame Hollow, and he forgot to ring a bell or something like that, something about a Church, a Reunion with the Avatars of Sephiroth, the dude is like dying so he talk a lot, just Press A a lot.

So, eventually, your brother from another mother will give you his canteen with Orange Vodka.

And another key. Where does he gets them, I dunno. He just happens to have a lot of keys, just ask Vaati or sumthing.

So, remember that part where you almost got hit by a giant pinball ball? Go there, kill the dude there, and open that door with the key that your buddy gave to you.

You gon find some heavy resistance here. Just kill all dem dudes.

Cross the fog gate and stare into the eyes of your victim. You left yourself fall from the ledge and press RB.

Just like this.

So, now you just keep hitting him in the butt. This is really important, because 99.1% of new players hit a brick wall later when a dude just like this one appears later in the game, but the other dude just has fire, but for some reason he just kill everyone 1000 times and everyone asks for help and the whole situation is just sad.

Once you totally obliterated that booty, you'll get another key. Use it to open the door that is closed in the boss area.

Like this, you see? You can't miss this one. Keep straight that path. You'll see a bird. That will grab you, like in that scene in Finding Nemo, but not exactly the same way, but it will grab you and take you to another place. BTW have you seen Finding Nemo? Oh my god man, Dory is my Favourite. I have an aunt that is just like her and stuff. I mean, not blue with fins, but she kinda forget everything. She once made a fire because she forgot to turn off the oven and burned her whole kitchen. She like forgot about that in 15 minutes.

So we arrived to Firelink Shrine. Congrats!

Firelink Shrine

So, don't level up here man. We gon need dem souls to buy some clothes and other thingys.

Find this spot. And grab that item. We gon use that to become Human. While Human you can find more objects dropped by enemies, and you activate multiplayer. You can now summon somebody to help you but also be invaded by dem twinks son, so beware.

But first find that dude with the sexiest haircut in all Lordran. Go and talk to him.

Talk with him several times. He's not friendly at all at first. He gives you a coin, that is totally useless. Talk to him until you he ask you something, and then say yes. He will tell you that he's there selling some goodies, and waiting for his sister and her friends to come over so they can make a barbecue, just press A a lot.

He then will ask you to join the Jehovah's Witnesses, just say yes. Now you can buy miracles from him, be we are not going that way, we just want his gesture, it's really important for PVP.

Now you look at that. Terrific.

Now we gon use a Humanity.

Sit on that bonfire and choose 'Reverse Hollowing'. Now we sexy again. See that dude sitting there? Don't talk to him. He's just a negative nancy. He just complains about everything, and tells you that there are in fact 2 bells, one up and one down. Nothing else.

Now you will want to find this road. Keep going that road. Some stairs. Some sewer-like path. nothing out of extraordinary.

Then we arrive to Undead Burg. Spendid. Pat yourself in the back boyo!

Undead Burg - Part I

Now, we just keep pushing man, we close to achieving some important stuff now.

Once you kill all dem dudes you will probably see this. That's a Drake son. And he's all angry and stuff. Don't worry tho, it's not important yet.

Deal with the guys here. See that door at the end? Go there once you're clear.

You will find there a not-so-useless-shield. Well, equip it son. Watchu waiting for?

Climb those stairs you just saw and glare at that, a bonfire man. Just in time.

But first, back track a lil bit and find these two guys that totally love their shields.

Dispose of them, and find this perfect spot.

You will find this funny fellow down here. He's all about talking a lot. He's a nice guy, sometimes he talks with something that you can't really see and move his hands like he's comforting a totally drunk friend that is puking. Well, talk to this guy and realize he sells goodies. Terrific man. You gon need stuff. You gon buy this: Some Pants and some Gloves (any other piece of armor is totally useless unless you go for fashion). You will also want to buy a sword, the cheapest one, and the bow. Be sure to left around 1000 souls. Remember that.

Exactly.

Now you go to the bonfire, and Level up Dexterity to 12 so you can use your shortbow.

Now you keep pushing trough the Undead Burg. Spect some heavy resistance. Lots of firebombs, guys with shields and posibly a twinker, in this case, I was not so lucky, nobody invaded me and that was just sad.

More guys with shields.

OMG man, just retreat. Fall back. Evasive maneuvers and stuff.

When you see the fog gate, totally cross to the other side. Step down dem stairs. But instead of going forward, go back, to that stair man, believe me, this is 100% professional, not fake, not gay. This is probably the least gay guide in the whole Steam guides.

Show them no mercy son.

When you kill those guys, go down the ladders and keep going trough the path, untill you see Nosferatu Zodd, I mean, the Taurus Demon jump off that tower man. When you see him, run back to the stairs.

Gotta go fast man.

Now, just like the Asylum Demon, do a plunge attack. Just like that.

Now, remember those 'Advanced Techniques' I mentioned early? This is when they come up. What you gon do my friend, is right after you plunge attack this guy's head, you will run to the exact same way he was when he jumped from that tower.

Once there, you wait for him to come get ya. Wait for him to attack and roll right under him. So, you run to the stairs again, and plunge attack him once again.

Oh yeah man, Advanced Techniques FTW!

Again, run to other side and wait for him to attack, roll under his groin. Terrific.

That one was close.

ohyea.bmp

Do that until you win. And don't worry, this is totally approved by the MLG.

Ok, keep pushing now buddy, we close. Once you get to this spot, go to your right.

You gon find this dude here, staring at the sun, in a really thick armor, with no water close by any chance.

Talk to him and say YES.

You now have the White Soapstone. Now you can put your sign to be summoned a another n00b to help him defeat the Capra Demon. Another n00b slayer. Now go back to the bridge.

Acquire some 3rd degree burns all over your body.

Run for it! Until you see some stairs to your right. Then, go down.

Look for this spot, where you can see our previous bonfire, kick the ladder so you can go down.

But don't use it.

Don't sit on the bonfire yet. Instead of that, we are going to the guy that sells pants. Dispose of any kind of obstacle in your way.

Spend all your souls in large arrows man. Believe, is the right thing to do.

Now, what you want to do is go back to the bonfire, now, remember that ladder you just kicked? Climb that ladder and find a bridge under the bridge where you got toasted by the dragon. Find this spot, there's usually these kind of message in this part.

Now this, is the most important moment of your life son, read carefully: Hit that tail with your shortbow and your long arrows man, this is going to take a while.

There!

Feel the Power.

Oh man, we can't use it. We have to become stronger, more powerful to wield that weapon. We'll have to... Farm Souls...

Undead Burg: Part II

Now that you have your Drake Sword, wich is the only weapon that you gon need to complete this game, you must level up 5 Levels to wield it properly.

We are going to do this the only way we can do in Dark Souls: By killing enemies that are totally more powerful than you.

So, first, I'm gon need for you to make a complete run in Undead Burg, and kill all enemies.

Then you're gon find this guy and throw a firecracker at him. This will totally piss him off. That's exactly the kind of outcome we want to achieve.

Once you have all his attention, you will want to lead him to higher ground. Go back.

Here he will meet his death. Just show him who's b0ss. With your recently acquired Drake Sword, your Character is close to become a Legend, so you can just parry him and play with the dude.

Once you have around 5k in souls, go to level all dem 5 level points in Strenght and now you are ready, to be the real b0ss around these parts.

Now, what's done is done. Nothing can stop you now. You have now become something more powerful than the game itself wanted.

After this, well, it's really straight forward in fact. You have like 4 more areas and around 3 more bosses to complete the game. With this equipment you will have no problems at all. Just remember to level up Resistance to 99 and you will be good to go.

If you follow this guide and don't skip any step, you will be a person of success.

Now, go forth Chosen Undead, and never look back.

[A.J]

Great guide, investing fully into resistance really pulled me through.

[Tresh]

Gave me something to do while waiting to get summoned. 10/10 would look skywards again!

[CazadorDeLobo]

Fuckin lol @Reloaded getting salty about Varit's jokes in his own guide

[[ Ø ] PS/2 > USB]

I tired this guide out. I feel guilty for enjoying all this power.

[Laptop]

Might be an idea to add the HD Textures and 1080p text resolution here also, although they are not required, they will make the game look a lot better.

[Shavebeard]

gon gon gon gon gon, what a cringe fest

also with 11 strength you can twohand the drakesword, plebbo

[BettyTheExalted]

Thanks for the guide helped me out. Game isnt as hard as its made out to be.

[millet]

I like reading these, I'm not new but I still click these anyway. (Because I'm a cunt.)
Anyway Nice Guide, If I was a new player I would mostly depend on this.

[Varit Rockatansky]

Chill out Nancy. If you don't like the guide just pass trough.

[Kleerex]

This is why Souls community is terrible. All the joke guides written by arrogant people with 6000 hours in every Souls game.