How to Bash with the Best of them

So you want to play a decent Bash game- leave your foes crippled and relying on mercinaries?

Breaking (Bones) the Basics

So, you want to bash with the best of them- to be the next Kona'an (Lead player of the Chaos Clobberers!)? well first lets get down to basics. Any team can be a Bashy team, the problem is not all of them are cut out for it- some Staple bashing teams are the Orcs, Chaos, Undead, Lizard man, and the Norse. (Before you call me out for missing your favorite teams, i'll get to them at a later date)

First and formost-
The Pecking order for Rolls- Safe bashing is Good bashing, start off with your Triple dice, if they dont exist, start with the line of scrimmage and their 2's- picking off the sides will allow you to take down the middle with a 3, and you have a clear path forward after, follow that with group movements of your off-sides to make the oppositions day worse when their turn comes around- Remember you only have 1 blitz, make it count

Seccond- The Ball
The ball is a Seccondary goal, go after it when all your bone-shattering is done for that round, so you can fumble in peace- if by some means you get the ball handed to you, Run immediately with the ball towards your front line to cage it off, from here the ball is secure and you can cripple the enemy team in peace- then go for your scores when there is no threat to the ball carrier- always knock out anyone who can blitz your carrier when he is out of the cage, keep them locked down on the ground (or in the apothecary offices) and you will be free to get as many scores as your black, twisted heart can desire

Third- Inducements
If you feel like you want to play it safe, go for either Wandering Apoths or Re-rolls to insure you either keep your men in one piece (Or alive, in the case of Deaths) or to keep them from being idiots and punching themselves (despite the motivational benefits of more adrenaline, bloodbowl players do not understand the concept of "Self restraint" and will punch themselves just as hard as they punch their foes)

The Teams

So, you've made it through the basics- which can be applied to (Mostly) all the teams you will play against. Here's my overview for the Bashy Teams you will find in this Glorious Game we call Bloodbowl.

1. The Lizard Men- Have you ever wondered "What would happen if we made alagators bipedal, gave them sentience, and taught them bloodbowl?" then the Lizard man team are your answer- with the Brutal Saurus as their linemen, Team-Devastating Croxigores as the Big-Guy, and Swift Skinks as the Ball-boys, you have- by their powers combined, a Tank with Ball Handling Wheels, Lizard men teams are the most versatile, yet stagnant of the Bashy teams- they play a wonderful running game with skinks, while ripping the opposition a new one with their shock troop linemen and the walking behemoth that is the Croxigore- but you will never see a saurus score a touchdown or even a Croxigore with the ball- but if by some miracle the croxigore gets the ball, Death becomes your team

2. Chaos- Ah chaos, the Staple of the Bloodbowl Bash game- like the lizard men, their line men are Shock troops, but the main difference is that, unlike the lizard men, their entire team is dedicated to bashing- their Beast Men Runners are better suited to blitzing with their horns, and indeed, a good setup with beastmen alone can rip apart an enemy team, but if you want to get the most out of your chaos team, you want your Chaos Warriors supplimenting the Beast men as a strong offensive line while they run interferance with their high mobility and higher blitzing power- their main drawback is akin to most other bash centered teams, Grabbing the ball- but with mutations, you can easily counter that by making a few Beast-men with extra arms and heads to make them superb ball handlers

3. Da' Orks- Do you like bashing? do you like big green mean machines? Da' Orks are for you- High armor, High Strenth, and a well rounded group of skills, trading off a Big-Guy for More people, More men, and More brutality, Da' Orks are just as much a bash by strength as a Bash by Numbers- they are, true to their name, Orks- did you expect them to be pansy Elves playing their precious Passing game?

The Teams (Continued)

The Undead- These Coffin Bangers are a special group- They are cheap, numerous, and Strong- Undead represent the dark truth of Bloodbowl- even the Dead are stronger than Halflings- Cheap lesser linemen in the form of skeletons and Zombies, Stronger undead warriors for the True Brutes, Wights for their Biggest Basher, and Ghouls to Run the ball- Their biggest strengths are their Regeneration and their sheer bloody number- it doesn matter if you foul with a few skeletons or zombies, you will just field MORE, their biggest draw back is the Ghoul- it does Not get Regeneration, combined with the lack of an apothecary (thankfully, you get an Igor to suppliment your Regen rolls) and you have a Golden Target painted on your most vulnerable players- their Runners

The Norse- Humans on steroids, The Norse team is a Blocking Machine- Nothing can stop a Norse team from stomping you in the dust when they are coming for you- with most team members starting with either Block or Frenzy, right off the bat they are a god-send for the Bashing game- they also have a decent Passing game (but why do that when you can just smash the oppositon in the dust then just run it in, what are you, an Elf?) but, just like the other Bash teams, this blessing comes with a cost- Their Armor values are lower than average, meaning when the Norse go down, they go down Hard more often- to play a Norse Game is to fully buy into the creed "To die in battle is to die with honor" and not get too attatched to your meat-shi... i mean, "Players"

Ogre Teams- "so you are telling me i can field 6 ogres, at once, AND i get a bunch of snotlings? whats the WORST that could happen!" - Nostram Dumas; Ogre Coach
True to their name, the Ogre Team is exactly what you expect- a bunch of Ogres, and the idiots that decide to be on the same side of the pitch as them- If you are going to play an Ogre team serriously, you need to understand 3 key points, 1; your team is a bunch of mentally handicapped giants. 2; your runners are weaker than halflings with leprosy, and 3; Bob and Morg an Thorg are the Smartest ogres, and that is not a selling point. Ogres are like onions- They smell bad and make people cry- to put into perspective, Their offensive line hits like a freight train... when they remember they are on the field, Their runners are decent... when they aren't getting suplexed by the grass, and if you DO win, you will need to spend a ton of money getting replacement snotlings (and heaven help you if an ogre dies)

Additional Teams (I told you i Would, Eventually)

There are Different Styles of Bash Team As Well when it comes to Bloodbowl, and they each have their own special methods of Doing it: Here are a few teams i had neglected to cover in the first Draft:

The Dwarves: Commonly Referred to as the "Iron Wall" of Bloodbowl by Some, the Dwarves as a team are a Dark Mirror of the Norse Team: Everyone has Block, but instead of a lower armor score for better Ball Handling: Every dwarf has Decent to Good Armor: but Nuffle help you if you've got to get ahold of the ball or reach the shelf:

They have a few special units; the Trollslayer with the ability to go toe-to-toe with any unit with more strength than it *and* having Frenzy allows you to blitz down anything that would be a threat while you mop up with the rest of your team- but this comes at a Clear cost of armor- making your Strongest (legal) player the most vulnerable at the same time

And (Suprisingly enough) for the first time on this list, I'm going to bring up Illegal Players with the Dwarf Death Roller: A true monstrosity of a Big-guy, he'll rip your opponents a new one with incredible ease... until halftime or a player scores, yes- the Death Roller is against the rules of Bloodbowl, for reasons arcane and unknowable: is it not Nuffle's will that we break or foe's bones? I digress- The Death Roller has another fatal flaw: not only will it get removed from play whenever the ball is scored or halftime rolls around: it also cannot hold the Ball! even if you use an event to hand the ball to the death machine; he doesn't have hands!

The Goblins: Why would you pick them?
Legally, the goblins are a "Bashy" team only on the grounds that Yes; they are proficient at injuring enemy players and there's no such thing as a "Cheaty Team" as they'd be the only ones in that category

To play a Goblin team is to accept that you're playing Halflings without any of the real benefits of being a pathetic, squishy team other than your blatant disregard for Rules.
There's nothing positive to say about their tactics; as they usually revolve around sending your Loonie on suicide missions to maim their best player or get maimed trying: playing Hot-Potato with Bombs with your Bomber; and praying you injure enough in the first half to mitigate your losses- You are a Brave Coach if you try and play one without bribes or using your less than legal teammates

The Halflings:
No

In Con(cussion)clusion

If you want to play a bashing team, Remember your 4 R's-
Relax; when you do your job right, nothing will stop you, concentrate on crushing your foes
Remember; Rember which enemies get up the next round, if you are driving the ball forward, lock them down so you can move your (usually) weaker runner forward
Re-Roll; as with every team, Re-rolls are a currency, but for Bashing teams, it is even more-so, you cannot afford a turn-over until late in your turn to keep the opposition down while your idiot of a ball-boy fumbles the ball
Rip And Tear- leave no one standing if you can, Injuries are your bread and butter, if your opponents leave the pitch with less than 3 men on stretchers, you are doing your job wrong



and above all, Enjoy yourself; Most of the fun of a bashing team is the sheer controll of the field you get, but don't get mad when things go awry- Elf teams, despite their numerous concussions and player turnover rates, are your main foe when doing a bash team- they can out-maneuver you and can very easily turn things around should they get the ball- Tackle and Block are your main defensive moves against these gits, but you won't be able to stop their passes unless Nuffle Wills an interception



So Have Fun, Storm the Feild, and PLAY SOME BLOODBOWL!

[DinoBaresark]

Good advice! The game is geared around attrition. I kept coming back to it time after time and getting stuffed every time! As with Canadian_Zac, I am on on 20 game win streak with Dwarves!! Based on 1-0 and 2-1 wins!!!

[Canadian_Zac]

You missed out the Dwarves. Almost everyone has Block, high armour, and Thick Skull. Low Movement and Agility, but they just slowly waltz through your line