Nazeem's Guide to Skyrim

Do you get to the guide section often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you do!

Anyhow, it does not matter now anyway, as I have your attention now, and you will not leave it or else I will automatically assume superiority over you!

I am Nazeem, Owner of the most productive farm in all of Skyrim, Influencer of the Jarl, and the most handsome and charming Redguard ever! And you can be like me!

Successful business and great wealth!

Oh, it took years, but I finally climbed to the top!

To have a successful business like mine, you must:

• Be A risk-taker
  
• Be Confident and aggressive (some call it arrogance but I call him unintelligent)
  
• Be A Skilled Speaker
  
• Have the coin to do dealings above and below the table, so to speak
  
• Have connections in all the right places
  
• Learn that business is more important than anything, especially family
  
• Look down on those who are below you

And then, only then, may you start to risk through the incredibly competitive hierarchy

A Face like mine!

To get a face like mine, you simply have to follow these easy simple steps:

• Wash your hair in a mixture of fresh spring water, grated grand soul gem fragments, and salmon roe. This keeps the hair shiny, magical AND refreshing to both look at and to feel.
  
• Use a special comb made from the tusk of a mammoth, or a horker, laced with flawless ruby. We can't have you looking like the Dragonborn, can we? The self-care set also includes nostril pluckers and nail clippers.
  
• Apply paste of Daedra heart and fire salts to face every morning and evening to keep all those nasty pimples and marks away
  
• Smile, because you know deep inside that you are better than everyone else

Short-fire tips for success

• Trust no-one
  
• Suck up to your superiors
  
• Look down on your inferiors
  
• Remind those around you to remember their place in the world
  
• Ask sarcastically whether they get to the cloud district often, then laugh and remind them that 'of course they don't
  
• Ignore your spouse, you have much more important things to attend to

If you liked this guide

• Fav. this guide
  
• Share this guide
  
• Rate up this guide
  
• Look at my other guides
  
• Follow me for more guides
  
• Comment
  
• Give Constructive Criticism
  
• Kill. Nazeem. For.Me
  
• Have a lovely day
  
• SUGGEST GUIDES YOU WANT TO SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nazeem]

As a talented nazeem spawner myself, I certify this as a true experience

[Drater]

This makes me want to speedrun the fastest kill on Nazeem.

[SireDoime]

Why do people hate Nazeem? Is it because he's a Redguard? Yeah, he's kind of snobby, but that's just confidence. Maybe you should try and be nice to him.

[tao_of_pooh_26]

is it thu'um time? oh what am i saying, of course it's thu'um time

[ChaosConnie]

Nazeem, are you shoving your head up the jarl's ass again?

[Nocturnal]

lol

[Diktovich]

does anyone know how to get a kid?

[Jorge]

11/10 - IGN
This is a great guide because it is very well written. I will explain that further on how great it is after I get back from Whiterun from my "errand".

[Carrotkiller]

god bless nazeem

[NaroidEs]

I think, I'm on my way to kill someone in Whiterun...