Goat MMO Simulator Achievements

This is a guide on how to get all the achievements in the new MMO update (SPOILERS! Duh)

BFF

Lick a friend

Every now and then a bot will appear with your steam friend's name, if you see them, lick them to get the achievement

Goatta catch 'em all!

How do you catch goats?

You need to collect all the goat mutators from the Goat City update

Not again...

Get deviously trapped again

In Twistram, there is a NPC named DumbleDoor The Grey, he will send you on a quest to Old Goat Mountain to kill a demon and take their horn in order to make a portal to a "world of riches", After DumbleDoor opens the portal, go in and you will bcome lost on a rock with a throne, housing Goatson, jumping off the rock teleports you to the top of the map, creating a never ending loop of the same rock, respawning or trying to go back to the main menu results in you respawning at the rock, you will need to close the game

Mermaid Goat

Unlock the mermaid mutator

In the Goatshire tavern, there is a man named Ariel, he asks you to go to the beach and bring back "Miranda The Meramid", go to the beach and drag her to him, after completing the quest you will get the Mermaid Goat mutator and achievement

NOTE: This achievement can be gotten at the same time as Music Non Stop, just follow the instructions for Music Non Stop, then jump off the desk when you reach the musical keyboard and you will teleport to Miranda

Gravity Goat

Unlock the gravity goat mutator
You need to get ontop of the tower at Old Goat Mountain, i recommend the Spider Goat from the A Story About My Goat achievement, after you go up the tower, touch the giant red cloud at the top and you will unlock the Gravity Goat

Voluntary QA

Trash the server room
Behind the highest of the elven houses is a giant metal door, go through and you will see a server room, just keep hitting the servers and eventually the game will crash and you will get the achievement

Malleus Maleficarum

Burn them!

In Twistram, there is a ticket booth with people waiting in line to dance in the fire, just go into the fire yourself to get the achievement

One man, two shots and a religion

Inflate that guy's knee

In Goatwind, there is a guy named Ken who asks you to jump on a button five times, just jump on it 5 times and you will get the achievement

Music Non Stop

Jump on the launchpad

Behind Goatshire is a river where the Not The Bees quest is, go up the path where you will find a girl named Alice laying infront of a tree, behind the tree is a hole, go down and you will be transported to a man's desk, where you can play music and the achievement will unlock

Butthurt

Do a lot of hurt. With your butt

To get this achievement, you need to be Tank and deal alot of damage with your butt stomp attack (Fast Jump + 1), the best method is going to Goatshire and doing it near the Dodos

Boat Ride

Enjoy your trip

In Twistram, there is a dock with a boat at the end, go into the boat and lick it and you will unlock the achievement (TIP: The boat brings you to the beach with the mermaid, so if you didnt get the Mermaid Achievement, then you can use this to get to her)

Steve's Quest

Give Steve Works the apples
In Goatshire, there is a guy named Steve Works, and he gives you the quest "IQuest" where you have to give him 5 apples, just complete the quest to get the achievement

Sallskapsresan

Visit all zones on the MMO level
You need to visit all the locations on the MMO map, just explore and you are sure to find them all (NOTE: This does not count the location from Music Non Stop)

Steal the show

Do a card trick at the magician
(NOTE: YOU NEED TO BE THE MAGICIAN CLASS FOR THIS)
In Goatwind, there is a magician leviating a pot, just stand next to or on the crate and press 1, this will unlock the achievement

Elfstreet Boys [OBTAINABLE AS OF 12/3/14)

Baa with the choir
In Alvesta, there is a choir singing a song, just stand next to them and press 1 to unlock the achievement

Old Goat (OBTAINABLE AS OF 12/3/14)

OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!
You need to go to the king and defeat the Giant Pet Ant to get a quest to go to Old Goat Mountain, just go to Old Goat Mountain and arrive in the room with Old Goat to get the achievement

Better than Warlords of Dredmor

Reach level 101
Even though the level cap is 55, you CAN reach 101
There is a quest given to by a elf called "Trees Aren't Gonna Hug Themselves" where you gotta lick something 10,000 times, upon completion you will level up to 101

Wheel Goat

Unlock the wheel of time mutator
At the beach, there is a cave containing some people, later on you will find a golden wheel called "The Wheel Of Time", just knock it out of place and you will unlock the Wheel Goat: who can stop time by pressing R

ExcaliGoat

Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
In the elf-populated area, there is a sword in a stone, just lick it and run away until it slips out of the rock, you will then unlock ExcaliGoat

An Unnecessary Journey

Throw the dwarf Bilbo into the lava
In the same location as Wheel Goat, there is a dwarf called Bilbo, lick him and put him in your inventory and head to Old Goat Mountain, jump into the lava and while inside, remove Bilbo from your inventory, and he will ste ablaze

Jörgen

Jörgen

Behind the two catapults in the gold fields next to Twistram, there is a man with a group of bears around him, he will give you a quest here you have to kill ten bears, kill them and turn in the quest to get the achievement

The Icelandic Experience

It never erupts when you want it to

Use the Time Goat from the Wheel Goat achievement, wait for the geyser to erupt and stop time, then walk into it, you will be sent flying into the air and the achievement will unlock

Love or Hate?

Find all the trophies on the MMO level

You need to collect all the trophies, i suggest looking up how to find them all

[The Maxwell B]

go through glarblargo beach to mcslowpants tent and you should see the gate to old goat mountain

[Blea13]

how to get to old goat mountain tho

[cpmenville]

if u use tank you will not get thrown back by exaligoat

[BEE IS YOU]

with good timing, knowing of where the trigger for the event is and the angel + double jump mutators its possible to get "The Icelandic Experience" without the wheel goat

[Realistic Eye]

How long does it take to finish "Things aren't gonna lick themselves"?

[Cam]

great guide thanks!! +rep

[Supox]

a little note i found out when i got the music nonstop achievement if you jump off the desk you'll be teleported to glarbargle beach and be right beside miranda the mermaid!

[Arab Susej ♥]

This guide is amazing. Thank You <3

[Ed Edd N Eddy Purgatory Theory]

I wont get the achievement(s) :(

[Jeigura †]

I went to the travern in goatshire I didn't get a quest I went to glarblarh beach I got Miranda The Meramid and brought it inside the travern didn't get any achievement. why doesn't it work?