ELDEN RING

ELDEN RING

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Let Me Tank Him – The Ultimate Elden Ring Co-op Guide
By Let me tank him
How to Be the "Best" Summon in the Lands Between

So, you’ve been summoned to help a fellow Tarnished take down a boss? Good news: you’re about to provide an unforgettable co-op experience. This guide will teach you how to dominate (or completely ruin) every fight in the most entertaining way possible.

By the time you’re done, your host will either sing your praises… or immediately block you. Either way, mission accomplished.

Step 1: Establishing Dominance in Co-op
Spam the "Let Me Solo Him" Gesture
Every time you enter a world, immediately spam gestures until the boss fog is up.
If the host starts the fight without letting you finish your animation? Leave. Clearly, they don’t respect you.
Wear the Most Ridiculous Armor Possible
Full Bull-Goat Set = True Tank Power.
Naked with a torch = Psychological Warfare.
Mismatched fashion with 500 talismans that make no sense = Peak intimidation.
Step 2: Mastering Combat (Or Not)
Walk Directly Into Every Attack
If you’re a real tank, why dodge? Absorb everything head-on to show your commitment.
If you die instantly, blame it on “bad netcode.”
Two-Hand a Shield and Do Nothing
Let the host think you’re going to tank, but only stand there and absorb one hit before rolling away.
If the host dies? That’s on them for not supporting the tank properly.
Spam Parry Even if It Doesn't Work
Keep attempting to parry enemies who aren’t parryable.
If questioned, claim it’s a "secret strat" only veterans know about.
If you land a parry, stand there admiring your work instead of following up.
Heal at the Worst Possible Time
Always use your Flask right after the host gets hit.
If they need healing? Forget you have Erdtree Heal.
If the host is at full HP, spam healing spells to “keep them topped off.”
Step 3: Tactical Boss Fight Sabotage
Pull Aggro, Then Run in Circles
Sprint around the arena like a headless chicken while the boss chases you.
If the host dies because the boss randomly switched targets, call them "skill issue."
Use the Worst Weapon Possible
Fists, a torch, or a broken sword? Perfect.
Claim you’re doing a "challenge run" and that true tanks don’t need real weapons.
Bonus points if you keep saying “This worked on Malenia.”
Spam "Praise the Sun" Instead of Fighting
Every time the host lands a hit, stop what you’re doing and start emoting.
If the boss hits you mid-emote, blame lag.
Step 4: Leaving a Lasting Impression
Bail at the Most Inconvenient Moment
Right before the boss dies, disconnect.
If asked why, say “I had to let you have the final hit.”
Die Immediately and Blame the Host
Run straight into the boss, get one-shot, and send “git gud” in a message before disappearing.
If they try to summon you again? Switch your name to "You Again?" and repeat the process.
Only Use the Taunter’s Tongue
Bring in multiple invaders, then sit back and watch the chaos unfold.
Tell the host it’s a “real Dark Souls experience.”
Final Thoughts
If you follow this guide correctly, you’ll either:
✔ Be remembered as a legendary summon.
✔ Make the host question their life choices.
✔ Get blocked instantly.

Either way, you win.

Good luck out there, Tarnished. And remember: Let Me Tank Him.
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7 Comments
Slayr Mar 19 @ 6:04pm 
Also, I'm pretty sure i summoned someone who read this, they got mutillated by the captian in the swamps of Aeonia (or whatever its called)
Slayr Mar 19 @ 6:02pm 
pretty sure its the latter 2 LMAO
LockehardtHimself Mar 12 @ 11:23am 
Veteran Strats only, scrubs just won't understand.
Smamsmug Mar 6 @ 5:14pm 
LMSH HERE FR?!?!?!?!
DemiDark Feb 27 @ 7:21pm 
???
Let me solo her Feb 22 @ 1:56pm 
What is bro talking about
The Dweller Feb 14 @ 7:22am 
kinda peak ngl