How to become part of the KOOL KIDS KLUB!

Yeah that's right, now you can FINALLY BE A KOOL KID!!

Part 0: Buckle Up

Prepare yourself, as I am about to show you the entire journey of being a kool kid! (about like 200+ hours)

Part 1: BECOME the Pizza Tower!

First, you must download Pizza Tower, although if you're reading this, you probably already have. Struggle though like 5 thousand captchas and you can now purchase the video game that was released on Janurary 26, 2023 for 20 dollars on Steam. After you launch the game, you must memorize the exact order of the start sequence, that being the loading screen, Tour De Pizza logo, FMOD logo, intro cutscene, and title screen. Before anything, wait 40 seconds for Peppino to jumpscare you, and then relaunch the game, skip the intro, and start the game. Get out your autoclicker and punch Peppino until you can't see him to unlock The Noise (Or you could just beat the game as Peppino lel). Beat the tutorial in under 2 minutes, and unlock the lapping portals. Then, do multiple runs of each level until you 100% each one, for example, don't move on to Pizzascape until you P rank John gutter, and get all 3 chef tasks. Repeat this process for every single level. For bosses, try to P-rank them first try, or else, you won't have time for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ final judgement. Play through the entire game this way, using all the speedrunning tricks that YouTube can teach you. once you beat TCTOP, congrats! You have beaten the game! Now do it like 70 more times...

Anyway, get all of the clothes for Peppino, and then get all the secret treasures in under 2h 15m to get the final clothing. Before you get ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on all save files, play the game multiple times to get all final judgements, from You Suck to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. If you didn't get ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on your first run, play the game over 3 times on all save files to unlock it. Also, you don't have to save Snotty, he's just an unimportant green blob of snot.

After you get 101% ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with John Approved (And / or Snotty Approved if you're overprotective of a green recolor of a sentient blob of cheese) on all 3 save files, congrats! Now do it all over again with Noise. Get all P ranks, Chef tasks, Clothes, Seal o' approvals, Final Judgments and all of that, good! You're done for Pizza Tower!

Part 2: Suggaryy whirl!!!!!!!!!

Next, you must complete Sugary Spire (I will update this section when the full game comes out, for now, we will do UNHAM). First, beat all levels with a P rank as Pizzelle. You don't have a time limit, so do each level at your own pace. Once you P rank each level, the only things you gotta do is go into the credits room (Run through the hidden breakable wall, just left of *I forgot the name of the fricking mineshaft level again*), and watch the credits to unlock Pizzano! Of course, do everything again as Pizzano, and you have completed Sugary Spire! (for now.)

Part 3: Super Duper Bo Bo Noise!

Possibly the shortest one thus far, Bo Noise has onlt two levels!(?) So uh, you know the drill at this point. U-rank both(?) levels, and get all the mails (not even I have all of them, I'll update this later when I have the time to catalog all of the ones I have.) Oh, btw, you need to kill Bobby (the most delicate "enemy" ever, dies to mach runs, ground pounds, fastwalking, and supertaunts.) to get all the mails. *NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!* It sucks, but hey, PrOgReSs!!!!!!!!! Next, you must find the Super Secret Savouri. Now I would tell you, but the creator of Bo Noise wants the players to find the secrets themselves instead of looking up a guide, so I won't tell you (sorry not sorry). Now, the Super Secret Settings. These are basically the easiest secrets to get, just find a pink splotch of paint, wallrun into it, and bump the September 2021 styled block to gain a powerup that you can use to get into the Hub. It takes some practice, but after a while, it's all just a matter of holding [->] at the right time. After doing this, you will get mail with a secret message. Decipher the secret code and enter it in while in the settings, that being A-w-e-s-o-m-e. These will reveal the secret settings, those being Cat Hud, Greenifier, RPG mode, Retro Bo (wait, I thought there were only two levels...), and Call Luigi. I'll let you figure out what they do on your own. Anyway, get 102% TuC status in all three save files, and you have super'd your bo noise! Bo unlock!

Part 4: I Can't Believe Scout TF2 Made A Mod

Scoutdigo is the first must-download Pizza Tower mod. To do everything, you must find all the keys (many guides for this), find M A R I O, P-rank every level in both Normal and Death mode, and unlock Champignon Road. Then, find the use for every single setting, discover how to play as Bo Noise (hint: Peter Plus), and do at least 10 rounds in each arena. This will keep you busy, for a long while.

Part 5: FrEe PiZzA tOwA!!!1!!11!11!1one!1

Now, you must beat all the public demos, those being early test build, Demo 0, Demo 1, Demo2, GOLF, Grinch Race, Noise's Hardoween, Sage2019, Eggplant Build, and Strongcold. You don't have to get all the high scores, just beat all levels and you'll be golden. Wow this section was really shor

Part 6: Alright, Who Dun 19'd my Pizza Tower Plus?

Pizza Tower 19' Plus is a complete overhaul of the Sage2019 demo. It features new level design, sprites, gimmicks, and more. And you gotta beat EVERYTHING! It's less and more than it sounds like at the same time, somehow...

P-rank each level, blahblahblah, get all Snick quotes, all chef tasks, FRICKING KILL THE CHEESE DRAGON, and beat each level with a purple medal in time trial mode (good luck, you're sure as hell gonna need it).

Congratition!!!!!!!!

You did it! Welcome to the KOOL KIDS KLUB! Where all our carpal tunnels are broken with nothing to show for it! (unless you count some useless digital numbers.) Thank you for reading this guide. I pretty much skipped a crapton of stuff, but if I didn't this guide would be 10 times longer than that one Loud House Fanfiction where Peter Griffin gets zapped outta existence. I'm not kidding, that thing is longer than the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BIBLE by a landslide! Anyway, enjoy the next few years of your life pressing keys on a keyboard!