How to Get Away With Cookie Laundering

Hi I'm Saul McQuackduck, Have you ever wanted to learn how to earn lots of cookies? No worries, I've got you covered.

How to Get Cookies.

Look pal let's face it, you want cookies, I want cookies, Everybody wants cookies, but you need to outbake the competition. Now I'll be blunt with you, ya can't. That is, you can't fairly.
You get what I'm saying?
Now look, golden cookies. very profitable.
Here is the plan: you want to get as many golden cookies as possible.
To do that you'll need golden clovers

Farming basics

Now before we get to that you must first make sure you actually have a farm.
Simply hit he one billion cookie mark and invest a sugar lump into the cookie farm. this will unlock the garden minigame.
planting two types of plants (whether of the same type or not) close to each other and let it mature will give you a chance for a mutation to occur in an empty slot that is close to the matured plants.
The sheet below shows common mutation setups
G - one type of plant
Y - another type of plant
R - possible weed spot

Farming Golden Clovers

Initially, you'll start out with Baker's wheat.
You'll need to mutate it in the order below to get an ordinary clover.





Now, I realize that I haven't actually told you why you want these clovers so badly, so let me clue you in.
Ordinary clovers increase the golden cookie frequency by 1%, Golden clovers however, Give you 3%.
I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
A fully upgrade garden gives you 36 slots, multiply that with the 3% that each clover gives plus an addition 0.75% if you are using a clay soil you get a whooping 135% GOLDEN COOKIE FREQUENCY RATE!
Now that we are on the same page, to get golden clovers you need quite a few ordinary clovers (or baker's what+gildmillet, less efficient).
The chart below is the optimal mutation setup for the golden clover.

Cookie laundering

You want to stay out of jail, don't ya? I mean, you want to keep your cookies and your freedom. 'Cause I got three little letters for ya, IRS; if they can get Capone, they can get you.
Hey, look. [picks up ordinary clover] Here's you, right? [picks up cookie] Here's your cash. You're out on the town, yeah? You're partying hardy, you're knockin' boots with the lovecraftien grannies and oh, who's this? [picks up glass of water] It's the taxman, and he's looking at you. Now, what does he see? He sees you've made 777x7x80 that's 435120 times your cps in 12 seconds. Now what is the conclusion the taxman makes?
you're a tax cheat! What do they do? They take every cookie, and you go in the can [tosses clover into the trash] for felony tax evasion. Ouch! What was your mistake? You didn't launder your cooookies! Now, you give me your cookies, okay? That's called placement. [picks up golden clover] This is the clover farm, right? I take your dirty cookies... [opens the jar and puts the cookies in] ...and I slip it into the farm's nice, clean cookie flow. That's called layering. Final step: integration. The revenues from the farm go to the owner - that's you! [empties the jar onto the armrest] Your filthy golden clover cookies have been transformed into nice, clean, taxable income, brought to you by a savvy investment in a thriving business.

Title

Hi, I'm not named saul, and you didn't see me.

[soldier's bucket]

saul cookieman

[[OKT] Sentry]

nice

[Barvaz]

I forgot they existed in the making of this guide, so there might be a way to maximize this even further.

[Mr.Bean]

Nurse Tulips though

[a_guy_not_named_bob]

thanks for the guide, probably won't use it 10/10

[Squidamari]

A useful guide that's also a funny breaking bad reference? amazing what people can do these days

[Barvaz]

Not really necessary, but if you wanna minimize the costthen the best way to do that would be to wait for a building debuff. Its only about ~1% in most conditions but it will decrease cps by around ~8000%-4000% (depending on how many building of that type you have). can take a long time though, not recommended. golden clovers don't boost wrath cookie frequency either. simpler strat would be to take off your dragon buffs (since most likely you are using breath of milk and radiant appetite which boost your cps by 400% total).

[Forlorn]

I think the best strategy is to wait for a wrath cookie to half your cps, then buy many seeds at once. Half-off on seeds is too good to pass up.

[Barvaz]

Planting seeds has always costed a lot of cookies, but so long as you keep a large stock pile of them it wont be an issue. The benefit from them is far too great to be overlooked for the missaly cost of several hours of cps.

[Forlorn]

Did this get nerfed? Planting seeds costs a lot of cookies now.