5 reasons why you SHOULDN'T get a Henry Cooldown tattoo

Henry Cooldown is a detestable (fictive) human being who deserves the lethal injection. READ FOR MORE...

Reason #1

He's part IRISH. (aka the same nationality as Ed Sheeran, which is disgusting)
fiddle-diddle deez nuts, leprechaun.

Reason #2

His battle theme is entitled "We Are Finally Cowboys" yet he is NOT an actual cowboy, he was NEVER affiliated with Woody from Toy Story AND he doesn't wear a HAT!
DOUBLE-U TEE EFF, BRO!!!
FAKE HORSE RIDER!!!
HE GOT RED DEAD RED-DON'T-ED!!!
(please laugh)

Reason #3

His skin tone is almost as pale as dried out white paint from the back alleys of Home Depot and probably the same HEX colour code as a Minecraft STONE block.
PLUS, I'm downright sure he doesn't eat his Flintstones multivitamin gummies!!!
ROOKIE MOVIE, DRACULA!! YOU GOT VITAMIN D DEFICIENCY!!

So emo. -Juliet Starling 2k12

Reason #4

He got cucked by Travis Touchdown, (his own "younger" twin brother) who's WAY more swagilicious than him. (this is your sign to get a Travis tattoo instead)

PROOF:
(100% NOT CLICKBAIT) ↓↓↓
SUPER AWESOME VIDEO OF TRAVIS LICKING HIS OWN BALLSACK (COOL)

If you had anything to say to Henry, it SHOULD be:

NOBODY LOVES YOU, GREASE FACE!! DO YOU WASH YOUR HAIR WITH CRISCO???
DOES YOUR "WIFE" KISS YOU WITH THOSE DRY AHH LIPS?? TAKE AN EFFING SHOWER!!
and hydrate yourself properly DRINK GASOLINE WITH TREVOR (GTAV)!!!!!!!

Reason #5

I ran out of reasons, but my point still stands...

DO NOT GET A HENRY COOLDOWN TATTOO, FOO!!!
IT AIN'T WORTH IT!!!
YOU'LL BE FORCED TO DIGEST YOUR OWN FECES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!

You have been warned.
Think twice before putting a permanent Cooldown ink design up your butt.
Now I gotta get back to spreading misinformation on Reddit.
Buh-bye.

[dog with a blunt]

valid. your sins will not be replenished and you will be freed from every single one of them. if you keep sinning in the near future and dare to print a henry cooldown fake or real tattoo on your skin, then forget this message and we hope to see you burn in h3ll, here at gerber life support :>. Amen.

[apleno]

what if i get a tattoo of him getting stabbed in the face

[dog with a blunt]

the earth is crumbling beneath you

[ikola]

can't stop me, fed. im getting one on every limb

[dog with a blunt]

each time you tattoo h*nri c*oldown on your body, a fairy dies and travis touchdown loses a follower on twitter dot com

[supershadic530]

Instructions unclear, tattoo has been acquired.