Elden Ring Easy Mode

There are many ways to optimize the fun out of Elden Ring and make the whole experience a pointless adventure.

Allow me educate you how to access easy mode, maidenless tarnished.

"You have the sweetest scream, my lambkin"

A Foreward to Gitting Gud

Elden Ring is the easiest and most accessible souls game there is on the market. There are tools to make every boss fight a curb stomp and a plethora of ways you can cheese the game.

Follow and sit at the first four or so graces as they unlock leveling and the round-table.

The Best Rune Farm

Rune farms are for lobotomized donkeys.

Moving on.

EldenCraft

Find or craft a furlcalling finger remedy

Co-opers Only 4.1 miles away from you!

Have, find, or kidnap a [competent] friend
Make sure to set a password in the options menu that way you can find your friend.

Jolly Cooperation

Let your friend do the work. It's what you pay them for.
Right?








In the case you're a lonely wretched soul with no friends who have good taste in video games. There is always the option of using spirit ashes.

Spirit Ashes break the AI of bosses and make them trivial to kill. They are an inbuilt cheat mode for bad players, including: video game reviewers, streamers, and various other entities.

Make sure to upgrade them as you play the game. It makes a world of difference. Which one you choose is up to you. There's two different type of spirit ashes, the premium ones and the casual ones. The type determine when and where you can summon them.

To upgrade your spirit ashes you'll want to meet a woman in a shack before fighting the Omen. She's a downer so don't listen to her. What you want to do is find a item inside Stormveil castle. It'll be near a pile of bodies. Use a guide to get there faster.

Doctor's hate this one trick to make your Vigor Bar Bigger

Let's flesh your character out.


1. Find a melee weapon you like, I chose a handgun in my playthrough and capped Mohg like a playa. He ain't touching Miquella's Bussy without consent.




2. Get the minimum stats to wield it.


3. Your end goal is 40-60 vigor and 15-30 endurance. 60 vigor is the Hard-Cap, meaning anything past that and you get diminishing rewards. Any levels past 60 gives less than a dozen health points, thus pointless.



4. Damage comes mostly from upgrading your weapon, which makes putting points into str/dex less of a priority. We want to give you as much survivability as possible.



It won't do you any good if you put all your points into strength and you die the moment when Millennia forces you to taste her scarlet rot flavored toes.

Pick Your Poison

Magic makes the game a boring stomp, so that's why I recommend it to anyone that's never played a soulslike. Me personally, I prefer the buffs from faith builds to bolster my ooga booga potential.


You have the optional choice of either

Chad Faith

Virgin Intelligence

When you're at 30-40 vigor you can start putting extra points into either intelligence or faith. Arcane is a lot more niche so avoid it unless there's a specific build you're following.

If you want more of a guide to know when you can divest from vigor. You'll only need 60 vigor for the Mountain Tops of Giants and beyond. Until then 30-40 vigor is an okay temporary stopping point.



You can go online or look at a steam guide to find spell locations.

If you're curious what my build is, I just beat things with two zweihanders until they call me Daddy.

Drink Scarlet Rot

With these tips and tricks you can make Elden Ring as boring as possible by trivially circumventing the challenges the game presents you.

Now you can stomp through everything and wonder what is even the of playing a soulsgame?
Tarnished, a word. I heard you conspired with Ranni the Witch.
I understand. The need for puppet gush is strong. Do you think I've not felt it? In my quest to be all knowing, I too have known the draw to the blue cunny. With 'er four arms, think of all the things that she could do to it- your tarnished tackle.
And then imagine ten more.
Just tell me this: When she was miniature and in your grasp, did ye... stick 'er in a jar? And did ye fill that jar with your tarnished seed? I'd do the same if given the chance.
Be on your way then. To the capital.

[六十七匹の稲妻炎カニ]

skipped through most of the guide as i'm not one who needs these informations but hey, one thing to mention is to use equipment that restores hp like the icon greatshield and the blessed dew talisman

it's easy for new players to chug their potions while not considering how much hp regen is lost because they don't heal for the full potion's strenght .... example: missing 200 hp and regen 450, thus losing 250hp of the heal, which are wasted

[Sonic Titan]

Ascends the swan toward sun in breath-drawn life deliverance.
Latitudinal ground, elliptic motion sets unveil.
Approach the grid substrate, the sun-glow's beam to freedom.
Winds grieve the codex shines and walks toward the grey.

[OntologicalWeevil]

[OntologicalWeevil]

Thus is our curse

[Chop25]

This shit made my dick shrivel up and go back inside my body.

[Lix " Word Bearer " Dornan]

Two words. Big booby.

[dzidzio_o]

easy mode tutorial: step 1, rivers of blood

[Warcock (PIN1)]

Easy mode is cool and all...



But i prefer to put all points into strength, faith, and endurance (vigor, mind, dexterity, intelligence and arcane are for dripless tarnished who get hit and dont want big bonk attacks).

[踠く者 DMC Allie]

Coop sucks, solo playthrough for the win

[Annoy1ngElf]

Lol be chad faith then you only need 25 vigor in mountaintop of the giants