Wenduag True Romance Guide (heavy spoilers)

Act 1 & Intro

This guide is assuming players are looking for the true romance route, but you should be able to sort out how to just trip the regular romance or trust flags to get the different possible endings. I've tried to go light on spoilers but reading too far ahead will inevitably reveal more than you bargained for. Scroll at your own risk.

General Tips: The main thing about Wenduag is that while her tough girl act is a front, it's not really an act. There's a wounded kid in there somewhere, but she's also just as much of a badass as she appears to be. She is obviously looking for someone to submit to, but only on her terms, and maybe not for the reasons people might assume.

As a rule, she's not OK with being pitied or publicly humiliated. She wants to be understood as an equal, but often has trouble expressing herself. Give her a chance to prove that she knows what she's doing, but keep a very close eye on her and deal with any issues in private.

There are several outcomes possible with Wenduag. She can betray you, she can remain a loyal friend, she can become a lover, or you can be soul mates. This is tracked by loyalty flags, romance flags, and true love flags. There are also several places where you can outright break the romance and possibly push her to become disloyal. I've organized the bullet points in roughly sequential order, I'll try to note whether they're respect or romance flags. You do not need to hit the romance flags if you're just looking for her loyalty, and you do not need to hit all the respect flags if you're trying to do the true romance route. To be safe I did both and that worked out just fine.

Probably bears mentioning that Wenduag is powersexual and doesn't care what gender anybody is.

I don't think any of the mythic paths prevent a romance with Wenduag except (obviously) Lich and Swarm

Please comment with corrections or additions, they are very appreciated. :)

Act 1

When you get to Neatholm, Wenduag will ask you not to show the Light of Heaven to the tribe. If you go along with her request, she will join you in the Shield Maze. If not, she will leave for a while.
During the confrontation with Savamalekh at the end of the Shield Maze, you are given the option to unleash your Demonic rage on him. If you showed the Light of Heaven to Sull in Neatholm, you must pick the demon option here or you will not be able to take Wenduag.

You're then given a choice between taking Wenduag or Lann to the surface. Take Wenduag. Her plan isn't quite as stupid or evil as it's made to sound at first, and also you can't romance her if she's not in your roster!
Say bye bye to Lann for several dozen hours.

Act 2

There are no relationship events for Wenduag in this act.

Act 3

(Romance) Find Wenduag in Drezen and talk to her. Tell her you've noticed her noticing you and say you like her too. This starts the romance. You can speak to her again for a hookup. At this stage, things are still casual. You can start any of the game's other romances and not worry about it causing any issues.

If you take Wenduag to the Temple of the Good hunt and pick the evil intimidate option against Kyado she will reference being "very close" to the commander and hint to you that she wants to torture him.
If you then allow her to scare the crap out of him and encourage it, she will later on in the chapter during a true romance flag event reference this as a cherished memory.
It is most likely not required for the true romance, but if you have her in your party (which one assumes you do) its worth doing.

At some point Wenduag will ask you to go back to Neatholm with her to collect your Mongrel army. Do this quest. When you find Lann, you can talk him down by choosing the lawful options. I'm not sure if this affects anything with Wenduag, but it will cause him to survive and join your party in Act 5. He is an extremely good archer even if he's sort of boring.

Take the Mongrels to Drezen.
(Romance) There's a camp scene (you need to hit the camp button in a dungeon or wilderness location, not an inn/the citadel/the world map) if Wenduag is in your party where she'll come try to hook up. Ask about her scar.

(Respect) If you visit Wenduag in Drezen, you may find her giving the Mongrels obedience training. She'll make some sneering comment about how they only respect her. Order her to get on her knees in front of you, and now they'll respect you too.

(Respect) Check up on the Mongrels in Drezen periodically. Eventually Dyra the trader will go missing. Talk to Sull and Wenduag about it, then go look for her on your own. Her corpse has been dumped in the far end of the graveyard. Tell Sull she is dead, then make a save and head over to the gate out of town where you've heard she'd been seen. If you pass a perception check (you may need to reload) you'll spot a loose brick in part of the wall with a book inside. Reading the book and Dyra's letter makes it clear what was happening. Go back to Wenduag and don't directly accuse her, just mention that you found the book. She'll get kind of stressed out about it, at which point you can say you guess you'll let her keep it safe because you're busy with a lot of other things. This should earn you a respect point. Feel free to tell Sull that the murder is unsolvable.

As you go through the chapter, issues with Wenduag will occasionally be brought to your attention at the command table. Don't finish the act until you've done the following:

(Romance) Wenduag will come in at some point and complain about the merchant One-Eyed Devil accusing her of stealing a knife. You want to say "There are many idiots in the world, sometimes I want to punch them too." She will then ask if you're pitying her. Tell her you aren't going to pity someone who isn't afraid of demons. After that you should have an option to pay for the dagger and let her keep it. I believe you can also choose options here, the important thing is that you don't scold her. Any option where you pay for the knife should work fine.

(Romance, True Romance) Another time, Irabeth will come in and tell you that Wenduag's been involved in a bar fight. You'll go to the tavern with her and discover that she has killed somebody. Choose to handle the matter privately (You can break the romance here if you mishandle this). Once you're back in your quarters, play along with Wenduag's flirting and give her some sexy "punishment" to get a true romance flag, the line is something about "Now you're going to pay for your insolence, you silly little cat." It might seem counterintuitive, but you'll know you did it correctly when she opens up about why she started the fight. Once she does, you can safely tell her how you'd like her to handle it next time.

Act 4

(True Romance, but you don't get your flag until later) Go to the Bad Luck tavern with Wendy and talk to the innkeeper. She'll challenge you to a drinking contest, which involves a series of fortitude saves. You may want to buff up beforehand if you're squishy. If you outdrink her and don't quit before she does, she'll open up and this will unlock an important dialog option later.
When she mentions that love and loyalty are a sham, you can ask her how she became so cynical, but to proceed you want to choose "Of course they're fiction." I have heard you can pick a different option here but she referenced this line later in my playthrough at an important moment, so proceed at your own risk.

Wenduag will let you know when you're getting close to Savamalekh. Take her with you and go beat his ass.
(Romance, True Romance) Talk to Wenduag at the Nexus after fighting Savamalekh. She will say she wants to go hunting, agree and go with her. Don't be sassy here, she needs help. She'll show you a wound she sustained and ask for your help dealing with it.
There's a nature check here that you don't actually need to pass, just generally be supportive and take her seriously.
Play along when things get unexpectedly physical, and don't chase her off after.
Tell her you trust her, then tell her she's beautiful (d'awww)
Lastly, pick the option that says something like "You've been through a lot, hang in there. I believe you can deal with anything, but if you need my help...I'll be right here." This is where you get another True Romance flag.
Don't worry, you didn't de-BDSM her with your penis or whatever, it's just a sweeter scene than usual.
Jump immediately to the next bullet point

(Respect) THIS PART IS BUGGY: Wenduag is supposed to go missing after your night together, but sometimes this will glitch out and she will still be there, or she'll be missing from the Nexus but still selectable in the portal menu. Either way, don't add her to your party. Go directly to Savamalekh's manor and quietly eavesdrop on her talking to the demon. Then go about your business. She'll eventually show up back at camp (should take about a day) with a story about having gone on a bender. If you pass a perception check, you'll notice she's lying, but it's not necessary. You need to ask, "You aren't hiding anything from me, are you?" and then tell her that if she had, say, gone back to defect to Savamalekh that you'd have to kill her. DO NOT ACCUSE HER DIRECTLY. You don't actually need to spy on her talking to him, you can just guess that's where she really was. This will add to her respect counter which is important even if you decide not to pursue the romance further.
I haven't seen whether a similar scene happens if you're not dating her. If anyone can confirm let me know.
Wenduag won't sleep with you any more after this. Don't worry, that's normal. You didn't ruin everything. Stop crying.

Act 5

Once you're back in the saddle at the Citadel, if you've been dating more than one person, all active romances will barge into your room and demand you pick one of them. You unfortunately have to stop slutting it up at this point and start going steady with Wendy.

You should be able to talk to Wenduag about the future at some point in Drezen. I told her that her people wouldn't be accepted among humans and should claim their own lands in the worldwound when it's healed. She seemed to like that. Then she complained about their lifespan and I picked the option that said warriors generally don't live long lives anyway. That seemed to go over well, though I've seen people pick other options. Comments elsewhere seem to suggest that you either need to get this conversation right or do bullet point #4 for the true romance to trigger. I did both and it worked for me.

(True Romance) Once you've got access to the world map again, travel around with Wenduag in your party and you'll find Sull on the road. Take him back to Drezen and ask what happened, he'll give you Wenduag's act 5 quest.

Talk to Sull again once you have the quest. He'll pull you aside and tell you that Wenduag needs someone to be there to support her. Talk to her about this. She will try to shrug it off, pick the option that's like "Whatever you say, but I'm here if you need me." She will give you a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ response, but it's OK.

Camp in a dungeon or other location (not Drezen or the world map). You should get a scene where she apologizes and opens up a bit. I told her I would never abandon her like her father did, which worked fine for True Romance. I don't know if the other option is better or worse.

Go do her quest. She will say some pretty cynical stuff during/after the fight, but if you did the true romance stuff, a scene will trigger right after everything's said and done where she offers you Savamalekh's poison. Agree to take it.
You can now talk to her in town to hook up again, and there's some sweet dialog about it.

Disclaimer & Source

I yoinked most of this from a reddit post so i could just favorite it here and not have to tab out/have it bookmarked anymore. Some edits and additions made by me where the guide was wrong possibly due to patches since it was made or something was missing.
Link to the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder_Kingmaker/comments/rmqxdi/wenduag_romance_and_relationship_guide/

[Vixenvania]

As I said before, one of the question options was either misunderstood or incorrectly written here. That no longer matter, I succeeded in getting spider-cat wife in the end and couldn't be more grateful for this guide. Wenduag wife 4 life

[Viceroy Günther von Lichler]

yeah thats about par for the course
there are bugs still in the game that were reported in beta

[Rizilliant]

Wenduags questline completely broke for me, in Act 3.. After defeating the ambush, in the Demons mansion, it fails to proceed, permanently breaking her quest

This was reported to Owlcat, via the in game function, over 1 year ago, and nothing has been done.

[Viceroy Günther von Lichler]

Aw, yeah its a ridiculously complicated romance route, hehe.

[Vixenvania]

I never got the option for asking her "you aren't hiding anything from me" so I guess I screwed up somewhere. Great guide though thanks! Its helped a lot.

[Viceroy Günther von Lichler]

You are very welcome.

[Fat Barry of Lancaster]

Thank you for this guide it's just what I needed!!!!!