🔥😎 Super Ez Petz 😎🔥

Ez win Ez life 😎🔥

Harsh Truths 😲

Aight bro lets get the good stuff out of the way. I have 3000 hours in the game and this is the most important lesson:

MOST powers in the game don't matter or aren't relevant at all. The MOST IMPORTANT thing you have to do to win is increase those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ attack and defense numbas!!! 🤯

Shocking, right? But that's not all... There is ONE power that does matter, and it may not be the one you're thinking of...

Gotta get higher than Snoop Dog if u gonna win 😎🔥☘️

Daz right. THAT is the most important power.

You got any of these early: 🐇🐧🐒🦒 (LMAO Penguin emoji is so bad)

And it's GG mother truckers! Some people are gonna be like "BuT bUt, mY SuMmOnS..." well u can summon deez nutz my brotha, when my 99/10 ox is RAMMING U UP! 👊👊👊

Fr tho. Just get one of these mofos early and up your stats. Sell whatever u need to sell and start upping dem stats early. And KEEP whoever has high stats even if it has the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ power in da world. Cause dem numbers are what rule this land bby. 💪

Last teachings... 👨‍🎓

If you made it this far, congrats. You are now better than 99% of the population that plays this god forsaken, slot machine of a game. Which means you are better than 4 out of the 5 people that actually play this game lol. Congrats! And momma said u wouldn't amount to anything... Take that, birth giver!

Anyways, my last words of wisdom are these:

🍈 > Melon is the best item in the game, use it on all your carries if possible. It will prevent most powers and help your 99/10 bison attack twice no matter what, bringing mayhem to the opposite team.

🥩 > Your stat giver has ♥♥♥♥♥♥ attack? Fry one of their friendos and put a nice steak on it! Now it deals a TON of damage and will actually measure up against some badass foes... HELL YEAH! No vegans allowed in this army. :P

🌶️ > This item is a little worse than the previous one but it'll do if they don't come up for a minute.

OH AND BTW...

ALWAYS EAT DA CHOCOLATE...

🍫 ALWAYS. 🍫

Thank you! :D

If you made it this far, what the hell are you doing with your life? lmao

But no really, thanks for reading and playing! I had to kill some time so I literally wrote this up in like 5 minutes. :P

Hope my wisdom helped!

See ya in da farm boyos, LETS GOOO! 🔥🔥🔥

[n e o]

Exposed! 🤯lmao

[Cell]

Hes lying he got 5000 hrs not 3000 hrs

[n e o]

Aight homie square up, send me the code and I'll gladly beat your 10000k hour ass lmao :D

[Smooth_Killer_Qc]

3000 hours?

ok mister ''69 hours on record''
i got 184 hours at the time of writing this on steam, but i need to add the 2.5 years that i played about 1h per day, which comes up to about 1000 hours total in that game

reading this text, i feel like you were giving the opposite advice of what people need to win

[n e o]

Lmaooo if they didn't crocodile/leopard ya ass when it was due time its totally on them. Clap 'em. 😂😂😂

[Enpi]

fake news, won with turkey and deer again. Summoning deez nuts as we speak

[n e o]

Definitely takes skill, doesn't mean its not a slot machine of a game lmao

[Brotos]

I like that you acknowledge this is just a slot machine game.
Some people think it takes skill to play it.

[n e o]

🥔

[MILKZ]

potato