How t o Play VERSUS in the year of the Ox AD 2022

You gotta put em in their place there bud

Preface

This guide was made by several well established members of the left 4 dead 2 community such as wegf3w4g34, b00mslang and ♥♥♥♥ hammerbush as well is some who wish not to be credited in this guide>>>> Hte purpose in the making of the guide is to tech tips to newer public versus players as well as some advanced tips some of you experienced players mayo not know about (: anyway enough bullshittin lets get this show on the road

you gotta MODERATE the playerbase

h1]STEP ONE[/h1]
You gotta remove the bad players
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyEvOFofkDo


In the competitive environment of versus there is no place for noobs you don't tolerate bad gameplay low hours numbers in name foreigners whialslte being forein or straight up stupidity New players shoul;d learn the game first therefor you have to remove them from the game and make sure they learn the basics in single player and campaign game modes

STEP TWO

You gotta turn the cheaters into swish cheese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWi-S-cl_kw


Cheaters are bad for the community you cant let them roam free even if they're using some typa jump rope activity yiyu gotta take em to the grave and leave em to rot either that or you can be non-wasteful of the bpody and use it for a sourve of protein You have to remind the cheater of the level of douchebaggery they are partaking in And when YOU aren't the one to let them know then you gotta add on top of the disrepsect defib is key

STEP THREE

You gotta remove yourself if you're the problem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yvp4Xe2fqU


Sometimes we don't like to admint it but we play badly Its not the game's fault its not the bullet reg it's just you sucking so in order to make sure you're not holding your team back you have to do the proper thing and just let them go about their way then the team can go forward and make it to the saferoom without you, therefor beating the infected

STEP FOUR

You gotta get rid of the toxic players in your games by any means necessary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH2vQAotEiQ


when you have players in your game who are leeching the fun out of it and complaining about automatic shotguns sometimes you have no other course of action then to drive them onto the end of their rope in order to get them out of the game the video above is one of many such cases of one of the editors removing such a player out of the game and details on how to make francis sound like an alarm clock will be in another section of this guide

Encouraging The Playerbase

Left 4 Dead 2 is currently losing players due to losing interest, that's why we need to encourage the playerbase. Since they are the spotlight of Left 4 Dead 2 currently, encouraging them is the best strategy to keep the game alive.

Example 1:

n this video you can clearly see mr failzzz a known left 4 dead 2 speedrunner is happy to see that he is being sent his regards by the famous pub sniper known as b00mslang or also known as nick force the player known as sheld is using the strategy where you abuse somones weakspot in this case it is sending regards to mr failzzz If you are to ever see this streamer in game ake sure to send your kindest regards and say that you are sent by b00mslang

Example 2:

n this video the player known as Intel Core 2 Duo who wishes to remain anonymous encourages the streamer to try a little harder by suiciding This strategy helps the streamer enjoy the game more by giving the user more of a challenge as the game can be quite easy most of the time

Example 3:

s seen in the video the player INTEL EXTREME MASTER is shown using the pvp strategy against the streamer known as Cookiesdud_ This encourage the streamer to enter a mode into where he fights back and is clearly shown having a more fun time playing Left 4 Dead 2

Conclusion

In Conclusion mt is upset every time they do this mt being the mature distinguished gentleman that he is apologizes to the community for failing to keep these animals contained to keep the game alive we need to encourage players to not lose interest in the game but instead find new ways to enjoy the game sing the 3 examples shown by the 3 players you too can also help encourage the players to constantly have fun in the game and keep the game alive

way she goes

sometimes in l4d2 you make mistakes n die

sometimes u get kicked for stoopid things like pre spawning as a spitter

its the the way of the road bub

way she goes
so if u get kicked in l4d2, stop crying about it

how 2 get girls

its hard in life to get some ♥♥♥♥♥ and avoid the worst life has to offer leik bullies n acne (sometimes staircases)

the easiest way to get girls is not play l4d2
however if u r like the rest of us and are addicted
just get a drop top

How to Defeat the tank

To defeat the tank shoot it until it dies
(tank does t-pose)

Uninstall the game

To get the most out of your Left 4 Dead 2 experience, consider not experiencing it in the first place. You’re going to be a better person if you uninstall the game and go hang out with friends or go to the gym or develop productive hobbies.


get help to handel addiction today [www.itv.com] link 2 [www.addictioncenter.com]

Finish the Job

now that you uninstalled the game, it's now time to end it all. Write a hate message to all of your friends and tell them how badly they suck at they game and how their lives evolve around such a weebo/furry infested game, make your voice be known to your so called enemies. It's going to be this way, it should be this way. Let your frustrations and crying be known to them. After you completed the transaction, you must throw your PC out the window, don't worry about oncoming civilians, if they know better they wouldn't stand by a near apartment window. Just let your hands flick it and throw the PC outside, it's better for the world.

The Christmas Presents: Should I Pick Them Up? What Do They Do?

Yes. Nothing.

Movement

bhopping

Bunnyhopping, or bhopping, is a form of advanced tactical migration that allows players to gain speed by accelerating. Bunnyhopping is a great way to get called a hacker when you can’t aim. Here is a beginner tutorial for how to bhop in L4D2.

any cool bhops you land must be recorded and put into a video using this song.

Pressing W

Another great form of high skilled movement is movement in the forward direction. This type of movement will bring you closer to the saferoom: an area for which the rules of the game dictate a win condition for survivors.

TK the marked beast on site

You're dealing with a dangerous man here. Not to be played with, and not to be played against. If you see this man in your lobby, it's important to put him down like old yeller.

So as you can see, this unit is a threat to be concerned about. He's a terrorist and is probably wanted for crimes against humanity throughout the WHOLE ENTIRE STATE of Rhode Island. He is ripped to the T and could probably knock your head off with one flick of his pinkey finger. When this guy pivots on his foot he knocks wind into the air that floats throughout the land and causes a hurricane in Florida. And if that isn't enough, he is a wizard of OZ with words. The very breath of this man can turn your friends against you and make friend into foe. insults that becometh from this mountain of a man's mouth can cause genocide. Just look at how my pour friend dre went from making $8,000 a week on runescape with the best girlfriend in the world, to living in a dumpster asking for chump change with no girl and no way to make money on runescape legally. All because Mr. Beast man knocked him down a couple. Here's the wrath inserted upon my friend which caused him to lose everything :

"ill teach you what past tense of was means when you misuse the word because it was a good game before you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ it up but of course when its a game where you cant find any friends to play thats what people like you do so you can jump on board someone else's session with theirs you're about as similar to a towns crucified mascot as someone's fun can get when you intentionally ♥♥♥♥ things up without understanding the consequences its as though you dont even have a clue what someone is capable of in terms of an assembly you wouldnt be remembered as a martyr or a victim just dead weight in society that leaves just enough room for a graveyard (edited).

"also an addendum when its so bad you roast yourself before anyone can even get the chance its pretty sad when youre dedicated to this many hours a week sitting on your ass no wonder your life is the way it is if i was your family id be ashamed you were birthed which is probably why they already disowned you pretty funny how you make weak comebacks in game and youre petty enough to think youre reaping a reward of some kind by being vilified by much of the community if real life was as rough on you as the projections you display in game id call the suicide hotline if i were you like damn"

And if that wasn't enough, here's more hatespeach and witch craft :

"Pragmatic are my visions of the people, visuals binary but renders us all as equal, still teaching those preaching of paleolithic sense, setting traps and using them at their own expense, people rush to fill the streets and complain, this same cancerous disdain for it is also for what covers the terrain, the liaison between humanity is lost, lack of acceptance and differences creates the highest toll of cost, an opportunity shines set for those, identification of the industrialized world viewed through urban manifestos, what time has given youre still standing here with your sub-modest living, standing on the globe spinning surface of the earth searching for where your purpose lies, while youre waiting all your proponents in this notion has been commercialized, yet youre ready to wait until the dark moonlit sky catches fire."

"Came to as a spirit, viewed as a man, encumbered by humanity's sins. Humanity will try to recreate him through submission. He will be born of God's defiance, he will claim a throne that people have built through sin and materialism. His followers are ever present, and have been prepping his arrival for millennia. In the end God will overthrow him, destroy his people, and his surrounds. We hold the fate of humanity's future in all of our hands.""


"Live how you wanna live, Live how you wanna lie
See what you wanna see, bleed how you wanna bleed
Death a priority, regardless of how you wanna die

When the blood of Acheron fills up the empty room walls epitaphs of a life lived wasted through
All the lies ever told revealed through glowing runes reflection in a pool of blood all you can see is you
Convenient now your God of love raise your hands cry to the one above
Shed your tears no one hears the only ones who cares are us

Destruction of your two-part life miserable throw away this worthless afterlife
Reminders everywhere you turn in sight this is the flame that sticks the knife
All the lives destroyed who you despised was it worth this sacrifice
Voices taunt for your escape mount the dead to the endless fires in the sky
Falling endlessly in a loop first of many deaths darkened angels laughing as you try
As a mortal being you believed every lie now before you I am the truth that you deny
Looking down in shame God his angels and even Jesus Christ

Spent your years so called conquering collapsed down on your knees
Your fears hatred and demise all a recipe for suffering
Still you only care for your survival with screams surrounding
Never will you adjust even with an eternity
Sadomasochistic serpent spreads its wings
All to which fuels him to his ascendancy
THIS IS WHAT I AM WHAT I WANT AND WHAT THE F*** I WANT TO SEE"

And to top it all off, this man has photoshop skills of a god, masking his face by cropping his little brother's head over his own. He does this with multiple pictures of his. He's mastered the art of doing this so much that he manages to male it look like he uses the same pose for every picture while only having to make small edits like haircut changes to his little brothers head that remains cropped on-top of his own.

CONCLUSIC

Put him down by any means necessary. Going in alone can be dangerous, having back up is typically the best method. If you try to put him down yourself he's most likely to kick your ass, both in-game and out. Your head will be on swivle. Literally. 12 guage autoshotguns with 100% accuracy and a vote call to enable all-talk with little time the spare should be your only option if you absolutely HAVE to get him out of there. But it's a last resort. Being with friends that have a trigger finger and the ability to switch teams is the only true strategy to dealing with the beheamoth. Any other method is dangerous and shall only be used if necessary.

Be careful out there soldiers, if anything is done wrong you might wake up at night while hearing a monotone reading of a long poem coming from outside of your room and down the hallway. The closer you get, the louder it gets, but right when it's as loud as if you were able to see where it's coming from..... It stops....Then....The unthinkable manifests.....You're going to wish it was a nightmare...but this is reality....LET GOD BE WITH YOU SOLDIERS!

staying hydrated

You need to stay hydrated in order to think clearly and piss often. Experts recommend drinking 300 cups of water per day.

If for any reason you can’t get fresh water, i saw this episode of man vs wild where bear grylls pissed in his water bottle and drank it. that’s kind of fiuckinh gross but it was super rad to see it on tv (can't believe they allowed it). i’m not saying you should do that, but you definitely could.

drinking distilled water will keep the microbes at bay

stop careing aboout the outcome

remove outcome dependency, the profesional mindset in order to be best like what else is writen in this guide, you have to make your mindset matter! basically, be stone cold like noskill facecamera. winning is everything, win everything, donot validate, every situation for every situation, seperated. watch instrucitional video for perfect explaination

TK Mox™ on site

this guy is an absolute unit of a man and must be team killed ON SITE!!!!
you can't beat him at his own game and you and your friends stand 0 chance against him


even if you somehow manage to get Mox to 1v1 you, chances are you'll get skeeted 9 out of 10 times and ultimately be forced to withdraw from the competition
he's the best player in the world

watch as a member of the b00mslang community commonly referred to as 'seletzar' is absolutely destroyed by Mox™

Mentality and Emotions

Of course, the bases of good gameplay is good mentality. In a very competitive game like l4d2, you always need to be on your "A" game to come on top. Your mindset is what makes you win games. Raging will disturb your l4d2 grindset you need to learn to control it for the sake of your top 1 grindset

It does not matter if your team is raging, You raging is the problem. You are more important than them so never put yourself down. Never blame yourself because thats how you lose a game. You praising your team wont make you a better player, if anything it lowers your ego. When that happens you worsen as a player. Instead, never praise them, what you should do is berate them for being retarded because its never your fault. You are the best player in the lobby put that directly in your brain.

HOW TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS

tell your teammates what's on your mind via :

• VOICE CHAT

Tell your teammates what needs to be said, no filters. Let it all out. If you have something you need to say, then say it with all your heart. Do not hold back, even if your teammate is someone you love. Throw the love away. You have to win and you need to win. Are you really going to hold back from telling why your team isn't winning?

"oh he just started playing maybe I shouldn't be mad at him"

NO! You must. all that anger inside you wont disappear. If you ever wonder why you aim like trash play like trash? yeah its because you're not screaming top of your lungs.

Even though this player got "rekt" in this clip, his confidence and ego didn't and that's a win in our book. He is still able to play good to win the game because he berated his teammates for being stupid. He may not be a psychologist but he does know that letting your emotions out on other people can get you into the "zone" faster.

• TEXT

Let your emotions control your fingers. writes the longest of essays on why your teammates are stupid retarded dogs. Or if you are too lazy for that, having a quick little bind to release your anger can really help, We know that for a fact. Here for example is a bind that this player made to release some stress.



With this command, every time the letter J is presed, the shown message will send the message to all-chat. Use say_team for team chat instead if you are too embarrassed to show the whole lobby your feelings (you shouldnt be embarrassed, be alpha)



Editor note:

Very useful bind to have, every single time I press that bind, my stress gets reduced. Feels amazing. my whole keyboard is full of chat binds. The only buttons I can press is W,A,S and D. Every other button is a quick bind to tell people they are retarded

TL;DR

Mentality is everything. Change the way you think so that you always be on top of everyone else. Don't let the emotions get to you. Let it all out on your teammates and it'll make you feel better. It is never your fault

She f ucking took the kids

THEYRE MY F*CKING KIDS TOO CHRISTINA. YOU CANT TAKE THEM FROM ME YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CANT. I SWEAR TO GOD YOU VILE DOUBLE CROSSING ♥♥♥♥♥ I WILL ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KILL A OU. YOU TOOK MY HOME, YOU LOST ME MY JOB, AND WORST OF ALL YOU TOOK MY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CHILDREN CHRISTINA. THE LIGHTS OF MY LIFE. THE ONLY FYCKING THING THAT GAVE MY LIFE MEANING. YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME.

Car Alarms

Car alarms are placed throughout maps and are key areas to consider when pressing W. A car alarm will trigger when a survivor shoots or touches the car and will spawn a horde that could hinder your team. It will not hinder you though, you’re a good player now because you’re reading this guide– so you can use car alarms in two ways:

Method 1:

a good player gets good through practice. due to the common infected’s erotic movement, they make excellent targets for practicing aim. the first method of using car alarms is intentionally shooting them so that you can get extra practice in game. this optimization of training will surely excel your ability in the game.

Method 2:

you’re better than your teammates. you reading this guide proves such. your teammates may not be able to deal with a horde, but you’re a good player and you will have no problem dealing with it. to gain extra points, you can intentionally trigger the car alarm so that your teammates get bogged down with common infected. the special infected will see you breezing through the map despite a car alarm horde and feel an overwhelming sense of intimidation. they will have no choice but to target your less-skilled, weaker teammates. you will subsequently have a clear path to press W and make tons of progress points, using your team as a distraction to earn YOU more points.

loft four death 2

its like riding a bike


sometimes its easier to down your teammate if they're horded or just slowing you down

take note of 'bozo the clown' - a new l4d player that is absolute trash and should be held to the minimum amount of regards

Obligatory Product Placement

Now a special message from our sponsor who helped us afford making this guide . . . Most people know, creating guides is a costly endeavor and we're very happy that such a company decided to sponsor us . . . take it away!


ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING TOLD YOU CANNOT DO A THING?

F@#% THAT!

*visualization of a angry middle aged man by his computer sobbing, face palming*

AND ARE YOU TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING BAD?

WELL THEN YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD THIS SOFTWARE SOLUTION THAT HELPS YOU FORGET YOUR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY FOR A TOTAL OF 3 TO 4 MINUTES!

INTRODUCING AN AGE-OLD PLAGUE THAT EVERYBODY HATES BUT STILL USE TO RUIN GAMES FOR *epic* FUN!

IT'S CALLED AIMWA*E. . .WE AT AIMWA*E.COM RESPECT PLAYERS OF ALL AGES AND ORIGIN, FOR JUST A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY PAID BY YOUR MOMS CREDITCARD YOU TOO CAN EXPERIENCE THE SHORT-TERM HAPPINESS YOU GET WHEN YOU WRECK SOME POOR NOOBS ABILITY TO PLAY THE GAME! GET IT TODAY WITH CODE: bumslum TO SAVE A MINORITY OF YOUR CHOICE!

*aimware doesn't guarantee bringing a father figure back into your life, computer able to run aimware sold seperately*

tru mlg l4d2 gaymer (circa 2011 colorized)

hey kid
do you wanna git gud at da game like the pros from years ago???
easy.

follow b00mslang's recipe to success - mlg mtn dew and doritos

Imagine Dragons

https://youtu.be/pdP6LcY5Axg WRITE SOMETHING MT


what the ♥♥♥♥ do you want me to say? -mt

fix unforgivable night mt you ♥♥♥♥ :rage: -luzion

“ fix unforgivable night mt you ♥♥♥♥ :rage: ” -mt

Wite someting that isnt a que3stion empathy -pnbout

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mt not contributing to the guide man :(( -luzion

no ♥♥♥♥ u -mt

if you have a l4d2 e-girlfriend shes a hoe

Never trust any e girl on this game. they are hoes and e-relationships aren't real.

here are some examples from a couple victims of this dangerous epidemic. (some of the following personnel will be blurred out due to being under witness protection by the bumslum™ community team. however one of them will not be blurred out as they are public enemy number 1 and theyre on some billboard so its pretty funny i think)

Zonemod and Confagl

former pro tournament expert player mt’s preface/disclaimer/eulogy:

Zonemod 1.9.6 is the culmination of years of optimization in balance and gameplay, carefully listening to player feedback and perfecting competitive play. This was all thrown away with the introduction of Zonemod 2.0 and beyond, in which the developers of the mode simply started changing schitt just to change schitt

People refer to it as zone, pugs, or scrims (which are each technically different things but ur a pubsniper so u don’t need to care about any of that nerd sh*t). Anything else is just copium from pubsniping shidders who can’t play infected. Such terms include Confogl, Confagl, B*tchmod, Zonegay, or any other derogatory word or message mixed with the gamemode’s name. Further sections will be written by players who arent former pro tournament expert players but can headshot straight pouncing hunters:

Penis

oh. my. God is that a L4D2 confogl player?!?? *starts blushing* omgg so cool 😍😍😍 I have always wanted to meet a L4D2 Confogl player 🥴🥴 they are so cool with their tier 1 autoshogun and submachine gun (I will be the sub machine gun because I'm submissive little femboy uwu) you can carry me with the shotgun because i love when you be skeeting them hunters *creams myself*. O-Oh... oops I'm so sorry for that >w<. We should play ceda sometime it'd be a cool date idea and maybe we can be more than good friends 😊😃

How to counter-act HACKERS in L4D2.

Hackers are terrible, we can all agree with that. I've ran into many hackers and have over 30+ accounts blocked on l4d2 alone just from hackers. Unfortunately, this game has a very bad anti cheat and makes it VERY EASY to get hacks for this game, now because of that i like to purchase aimware(DOT)net l4d2 lifetime package for $122 USD and go to the misc section and set the lag exploit value to 1500 to crash the servers that the hackers are in. Sucks that the devs dont do anything about this.

Da Gears

As uou can see here, da gears are-a-spinning. this should be how ur head feel when gamin. u should feel like da gears

you want to maek a frag vidao

So you've stuck around in the guide here for a long while huh? Well you haven't seen nothing yet, buddy. Forget trying to play the game and make a l4d2 frag video. At this late in the game, you have a good chance on becoming up top with the best known snipers. You'll be up there with b00mslang, mox, mr failzz, wreck, hertahtera5e4RYH, and antero

Take a look at what a true l4d2 frag video is capable of
source:a drunk mt

Closure

Our mission creating this guide is to give birth to more versus players for this game. That is our ultimate goal making this. This is the one true definitive guide, no other guide in the world will help you as much as this one. We are so grateful to be part in such community, we wanted to give back. Everything written is this guide we cannot keep to ourselves. Our collective knowledge is invaluable so send this guide to everyone you know. We change lives.

Once you reached this point of the guide, you will most definitely come back stronger than ever, more competitive than ever. You can now consider yourself mostly excluded from the disabled kind. "What makes you a bad player is the same reason why you're retarded"

Best of luck to all

-Official b00mslang Discord Team

The Rabbit vs The Hare

Originally posted by instagib:

theres this story about a fuekn
rabbit vs hare or som ♥♥♥♥
so bascially they they wanna race or some ♥♥♥♥
and they spawn the turtle and rabiit
n they race
but the rabbit ultra fast n went to bed or somthing like that
then the tortouise won

she f ucking took the cat

guys she really broke up with me and took my cat
anyways play l4d2 more
help what am i suppose to do

she f ucking took the cat

what to do if she has taken the cat

First of all, most of what I've gathered here is just an reiteration of this website https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/theft

They speak heavily on how to prevent a pet from being stolen or if the pet is missing and there's a lack of evidence suggesting a crime has been commited.

the missus taken the gat damn cat... she sure done it now, dam cat stealing b-word, them cats my only purpoise in life, f uck!!!!

You have to take 2 months breaks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu7EzpK5bNI it's self explanatory, if you want to aim like the guy in the picture you have to take a very long break after each game, you'll feel really good about yourself. Trust.

How to make Francis Sound like an alarm clock

Be like -YisusCL

Introduction to =LesterCL

ts hard to find players such as heyzeus in l4d hes 15 and on adderal so if you wanna win you gotta take a lot of drugs he will knock the pros down a couple if they wanna act funny


so yeah this is your new role model and idle now

Jesus

pushups or pullzies

do yall prefer push ups or Pullzies?

🐢

toby maguire

in orde r to survive l4d2 in da wyld

you must drink plenty of distilled water and mcdonal sprite

be like this guy and eat the maggot

no fr he ate the maggot

the auto ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Contrary to popular belief, the Auto Shotgun also referred to as "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AUTOSHTTY", is the most skillful weapon to ever be wielded in the hands of a l4d2 mastermind. By clicking m1 very rapidly over a target it will most likely result in death. "Great results can be achieved with small forces" (-idk sun tzu or sum ♥♥♥♥)

Write a Gide

Once u think ur good, think again. ur not good, im better than you

let’s see you write a guide. that’s what i thought.

Release the gide

no way i can’t believe we actually uploaded this dumpster fire. the l4d2 community is about to enter a golden age

we can finally encourage the community to inspire greatness I can't believe this.. -luzion

[76561198401438797]

Need update 2024 ! ! !

[webikiru]

instructions unclear, didn't tk Mox

[m30w ♥]

Guide is for 2022, wheres the guide for 2023? Get this old outdated bs outta here and update this bitch.

[Illinfected]

real

[Lyla ✰]

L guide

[𝔒𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪]

who's the guy with the 1982 mic?

[SwagDaddy69]

Trash ass guide

[7ᴇᴍᴘᴇsᴛᴲ]

fcking zoomers

[mt]

i aint learnt shit from this guide

[sunset enthusiast]

In order to defeat Mox, a man must become one with Mox himself.