The Captain's Compendium of Minion Traits

'Sup? If you're reading this, you're probably just as tired as I am with the utterly crap level of actually useful information (which ranges from between 0 to bugger all) that's available online regarding the minion traits in Evil Genius 2. So, I'm making a proper bloody list of them. Quick disclaimer, though: I'm not gonna bother including any exact percentages or so with how the traits affect your minions for two very good reasons.
#1: The traits are basically constantly changed by the devs to improve gameplay balance.
#2: I just can't be bothered to sift through game-code, patch-notes, and crappy old sites to find any of the info, especially when it might not even be accurate.
Also, I probably won't include any of the traits I know are useless fluff/have no effect on gameplay. Or maybe I will at some point. I dunno. Anyway, here's the list.

The Good

In this section, I'll be listing all of the traits that are confirmed (by me or others) to have a beneficial effect. If the traits are listed together on the same line, they have the same effect but to varying degrees. They also stack, as far as I know.

NOTE: I won't include any specific percentages or the like about the effects themselves for two reasons. #1: The values are changed freakin' constantly by the devs. #2: I'm kinda lazy and don't feel like digging around in either the code or every patch-note to date to find out what the exact values are.

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• Right hook/left hook / right jab/left jab / cross punch / uppercut - these all increase melee attack damage. (And yes, despite their fisty names, they do in fact affect minions wielding melee weapons like staves and clubs.)
  
  
• Crack shot / good shot - these increase ranged attack damage. Plain 'n' simple. (Crack shot even has a mildly funny reference to Rebellion's "Sniper Elite" series of games in its description.)
  
  
• Feels no pain / thick-skinned / good reflexes / owns armour - these ones reduce the amount of health damage the minions take in combat. However, at least as far as I'm aware, it WILL NOT protect them from traps. So keep your dudes and dudettes away from those when agents trigger them, if you can!
  
  
• Thrifty / cheap / volunteer - these ones reduce the salary your minions will want at each payday interval. The volunteer one even makes the minion work for free, regardless of how highly trained they are! (Writer's note: I love these guys. They always get an all-out science training in my lairs.)
  
  
• Nice hat (deception) / nice coat (science) - these ones are pretty rare, but damn good. They increase your minions' maximum morale by 50 points (and yes, they do carry over if they're promoted further!) NOTE: Minions CANNOT spawn with these (as far as I know) and can therefore only be gained through training. A minion with 2 traits can't gain any more, so only when training a minion with only 1 trait (or less) can they get one of these. They're also chance-based, so there's no guarantee a minion will get one when promoted after training, even if they do have a free trait slot. (I'm also reasonably certain they can't gain them after their first promotion, for some reason.)
  
  
• Computer whiz - this one simply gives a construction worker or science minion a (likely very small) boost to their efficacy when they're working in a control room. However, despite the description ("Loves working in the control room and wants to be a technician."), it's worth noting that minions with this trait gain no special bonuses when trained to be a techie type.
  
  
• Workaholic - this one's pretty straight-forward. It does exactly what the in-game description says; minions with this trait will just work longer before needing to take a break.
  
  
• Sees dead people - this one's freaky, at least by any sane person's standards. Despite seeming like a fluff trait, this one's really good for a very simple reason: minions with this trait aren't bothered at all by bodybags. They even regain some morale when carrying them to/disposing of them in the incinerator. As I said: weird, but good.
  
  
• Teacher - this one affects a minion's teaching speed (I think? I'm not 100% sure). In a good way, that is. So if I'm right about this one, they're just better at teaching your other minions during training. Always good to have a few of these boyos around for replacing minions lost through combat and/or schemes.
  
  
• Violent - this one, like the in-game description suggests, improves minions' combat effectiveness. I have no idea how effective this one is compared to the more specific ones (uppercut, crack shot, etc.), but it's good for muscle types regardless.
  
  
• Healthy / motivated / loyal - these ones simply reduce the drain rate that jobs inflict on a minion's stats; healthy reduces health drain, motivated reduces smarts drain, and loyal reduces morale drain. (NOTE: Healthy DOES NOT affect health loss from combat and/or traps from what I've seen. Only the drain rate suffered from jobs like training, researching, etc.)
  
  
• Foodie / loves sleep - these ones are straight-forward enough. They give a bonus to stats regeneration while eating/sleeping (respectively).
  
  
• Technically minded - this one improves minions' repair rates when they've been trained as technicians. Since repairs are always needed and this trait is pretty rare, it's an extremely good idea to give your construction workers with this trait some technician training as soon as possible.
  
  
• Perceptive - this one, just like the description says, improves your minions' spotting power. Best used in conjunction with guards or deception minions, in my opinion.
  
  
• Fast learner - this one... honestly, do I even need to explain this one? I mean, c'mon! It's obvious! It makes them better at playing air-guitar learn stuff faster. Duh!
  
  
• Ex-<insert name of do-gooder organization here> - this one simply increases a minion's chance to see through the disguises of agents from the relevant organization. So an ex-H.A.M.M.E.R. minion will be especially adept at spotting H.A.M.M.E.R. agents, and so on and so forth. Note: it doesn't guarantee the minion will see through the agent's disguise.
  
  
• Pyromaniac - this one might seem like it's bad given its ominous red icon and description ("Be careful around this one. A real firebug."), but in fact it's just a fun li'l way for your minions to deal extra damage in melee combat. Maybe even ranged? I'm honestly not sure about that at all. Either way, the trait just gives your minions a small chance to set enemies on fire when fighting. What fun!
  (Props to this dude, Eichhorst for helping me figure out what this trait does.)

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So that's the good ones. Next up, let's take a look at the not-so-good ones.

The Bad

Alright, we've covered the traits that give your lazy sonuvabitches hard-working minions some form of bonuses. Now what about the ones that give 'em penalties? Well, here they are, in all their gory. (Pun very much intended lol.)

• Bad back - this one's a right bugger, as it makes your minions take health damage at a slow (but constant) rate whenever they're lifting stuff, whether it's a bodybag to be incinerated, or just a new juice bar to be installed in the cafeteria.
  
  
• Poor shot - this one's obvious. Minions with this trait simply deal less damage with ranged weapons (though funnily enough, due to the way the game's coded, they never actually "miss" when shooting. Still, don't give these guys any priority for hitman training.) (Note: if you train these guys to be deception/science minions, they'll actually lose this trait.)
  
  
• Gentle - this one has your minions fear glorious and joyful violence to such a degree that they simply won't fight any enemies, even when they're attacked. Bunch of slack-jawed maggots! Still, somebody has to distract the tourists and do all the science-y crap around the lair.
  
  
• Pacifist - don't be fooled by the "fist" in the name for this one, as minions with this trait will likely never resort to using their fists. And if they eventually do, they'll probably be rubbish at it. While I'm not 100% certain how this one affects your minions in terms of absolute specifics and such, I'm at least 80% sure it makes them simply be crap at fighting.
  
  
• Unambitious - this one just makes me mad to see. Minons with this trait won't wanna get trained or promoted. Like, EVER. Not even a bit! They'll avoid it as much as they possibly can, for as long as they can.
  
  
• Homebody - this one (and I know it's not necessarily a bad trait, but I bloody well consider it as such) makes your minions shirk traveling as much as possible. They often won't leave the lair unless you literally force them to do so!
  
  
• Sickly - this one's not as nasty as you might think, but still a nuisance. It makes your minions lose more health when doing jobs that drain health. However, weirdly enough, it doesn't seem to affect any damage sustained in combat. Still, very much to be avoided (by employers and other minions alike, even).
  
  
• Dumb - this one's a no-brainer (literally, even!) Minions with this trait will drop their smarts at a higher rate than others when working.
  
  
• Disloyal - this one's a lot like the previously listed trait (difference being this one's about minions' morale, not smarts) but I'm slightly certain it also increases their chance to attempt to defect when they drop to low/critical morale levels.
  
  
• Splurger / greedy - these ones are two of the worst traits in the game (at least in my opinion). As you've probably guessed, either from reading the in-game descriptions or just looking at their names, they make minions demand a MUCH higher salary than usual. (If only they knew you'd rather kill them than pay them, if that was an option...)
  
  
• Unsuspecting - this one makes your minions naïve and easily-fooled dimwits, as they won't be at all likely to see through agents' disguises.
  
  
• Oblivious - similar to the one mentioned above, this one's even worse; minions who are oblivious will NEVER see through an agent's disguise, no matter how poor or unskilled those Forces of Justice saps might be!
  
  
• Friendly - I've personally been confused by this one for a while, but I finally figured out what it does: when a minion with this trait is interrogating a captured agent, they suffer TWICE the usual morale penalty, making it that much more likely the agent (even if said agent's at zero resolve at the start of the interrogation) will convince the minion to defect due to low morale and thus fail at the interrogation. Simply put, this one's a right bad one!
  
  
• Hates food / hates sleep - these ones are the total reverse of the foodie and loves sleeping traits listed above, in that they make your minions regain less of their stats while they're eating or sleeping. The effect seems minimal, but you know you can't trust a person who doesn't love a bit of R&R.
  
  
• Suit Too Tight - similarly to how construction workers with less than 2 traits may gain the New Hat / New Coat traits when promoted to valets/scientists (respectively), this one's for guards. However, unlike the aforementioned traits of the deception/science varieties, this one's pure bad. It reduces your minion's movement speed to an absolute crawl, and from what I've seen there's no way to remove it either. Which's weird, 'cause really! How hard can it be to just change into a uniform that actually fits?!
  
  
• "Cannot be trusted" - while I inititally thought this group of traits were just flavour ones, it's been pointed out to me that they actually indicate a minion to be an undercover agent! Since there are several traits with different names but the exact same description, i.e. "This minion can't be trusted", I decided to list them all under their shared description instead of their numerous titles.
  (NOTE: Occasionally, this turns out to be a "false alarm" and the minion with the trait subsequently lose it, which frees up the trait slot.)
  (Kudos to this fella, General Magnum, for sharing the info on these traits!)

The Neither

Now here we have the traits that DO have an effect on gameplay, but one that isn't really good nor bad. At least, not by my reckoning. Admittedly it's a pretty subjective list. I'll also include a few others that are noteworthy enough to SEEM like they have an effect, but actually don't.

• Embarrassing tattoo - this one apparently makes your minions feel so ashamed of their uncool younger self (and who can blame 'em?) that they'll actively avoid being trained and promoted to any minion type without sleeves. So basically just mercenaries and martial artists. (Funnily enough though, their arms are totally clean of any ink if they do get trained, and the training itself won't affect the minions negatively in any way.)
  
  
• Perfectionist - while some would consider this one good, and some might even think it's bad, I think it's neither since it's... well, it's just obviously neither. It makes minions take longer to be trained (boo!) but also gain morale rather than losing it whenever they're training (w00t!). BUT! The effects are both minimal in my experience and hardly has any impact on either factor.
  
  
• Globetrotter - this one makes your minions prioritize going on schemes above all other work duties, unless they're already otherwise occupied (fighting, dying, replenishing stats, and so forth).
  
  
• Disposable - despite what the description for this trait says, it doesn't seem like minions with this trait are any less useful than others. Still, they're usually good scheme-fodder, so send 'em away at your leisure.
  
  
• Reedkaubation - this one confused the hell outta me at first when I saw it. "What the crap is that mess?!" is a MUCH more polite way of expressing my thoughts when I read the name of it. And after a li'l bit of thinking, I came to the conclusion it's a poorly spelled "anagram" (if you can even call it that) of "re-education". The description ("Me not feeling so smerat.") suggests it makes the minion dumber somehow, but I haven't seen any effects on gameplay from this one. I'm mainly including it to offer my insight into the weirdness of this trait.
  
  
• Charismatic - this one seems like it should be an obviously good trait, at least for deception minions, and especially given how rare it is. But I just haven't seen or heard anything about it to confirm whether it's actually beneficial or not.
  
  
• Intelligent / Eureka! / mathmagician - these ones, just like the previous trait, seem like they should have a beneficial effect on minion smarts, but they just... don't. Not from what I've seen, anyway. They're nowhere near as rare as the charismatic trait, however, so maybe they're just another bunch of fluff ones. (Note: The "Eureka!" one seems to be gained by scientists (NOT technicians) involved in a successfully completed research project if they have <2 traits by the end of it. Still, no effect on gameplay from what I can tell.)

The Credits

Now what would a Steam guide be without some afterwords and a credits section? ...probably the same as usual, only slightly shorter, but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you find a trait I've missed or mistakenly labeled in the guide, lemme know in a comment below, yeah? You'll get your name added here as an official "thank you for the assistance" reward or something. I dunno. I just figured this would make for a good ending point to the thing.

(Note: I decided I'll instead add people's names to the traits in question instead-a listing them all here. It just makes more sense (to me anyway) that way.)

[Captain Seasick]

Weird either way, I say...

[General Magnum]

I wouldn't say it's a bug. More like they intended to make the player question if the minion will be an undercover agent or not.

[Captain Seasick]

Well that's freakin' weird! Maybe it's a bug? Guess I'll update the guide either way.

[General Magnum]

I just discovered something new about "cannot be trusted" traits, sometimes it'll be a false alarm and the minion will eventually become "trusted" and lose the trait.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3248380402
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3248388651

[Captain Seasick]

Well alright then. Guess I'll have to update the list.

[General Magnum]

I figured it out when one transformed while using the "Flying Pig" item which I put in the Control Room and triggered the Kill Protocol, meaning I saw an Investigator riding on the Pig (enemy Agents aren't supposed to be able to use your items). This happened shortly after an Autosave, so I reloaded and saw that the minion currently on the Pig had one of the "Cannot be trusted" traits.

[Captain Seasick]

Are you SURE about that? 'Cause that doesn't seem right...

[General Magnum]

Minions with any "cannot be trusted" traits are actually enemy sleeper agents, they will randomly throw off the disguise and become an Investigator (this is why you sometimes randomly find one smack dab in the middle of your lair).

[Captain Seasick]

PLEASE NOTE! As I briefly mmention at the end up there, this guide is in no way complete. If y'all find more traits that actually, y'know, *do shit*, then please comment about it and I'll add it to the guide above. Kthx!

[Captain Seasick]

Sucks to be you, 'cause traits actually do have a real impact on minion performance.

But yeah, the ones you listed there are all fluff for whatever that's worth to ya.