How to Finally Reach Stardom in the Steam Guide Community

Do you like writing "comedy"? Are you bored out of your mind? Are you completely unoriginal? Do you like reading people ♥♥♥♥♥ and moan about trivial things? This is the guide for you!

Introduction

The creation of a Steam Guide on this platform is the easiest way to teach people who are on Steam about the many tips and tricks about a specific game or platform. However to write one of these, you will require a couple things. These include..

• know-how of the subject.
  
• willingness to teach others
  
• proper spelling and grammar (not entirely necessary but we want to understand you, plus you don't come off as a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that way)
  
• an actual brain to compute what you're typing and revise if necessary

This comes off as a daunting task for people who have never had an ELA class in their lives or are mentally disabled. This even comes off as a task for normal people! Writer's block and lack of inspiration being two leading causes of this.

Fortunately for us, we have an alternative that takes out all of these requirements! It is extremely easy. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's so simple an actual ape could do it and probably better than we could. With this one quick scheme trick, you will find yourself being the least funny human being on planet earth teaching the masses!

Understanding S.T.F.U.

There's an abbreviation going around, known as S.T.F.U. This is an essential step to writing a Steam guide with the method we're using. With this, we will write the best guide and get as many awards as possible.

S. Stop your brain.

Stop thinking. Open up a new guide and fill in the bare minimum. "But what about the content of the guide? What am I teaching to new players? Well...

T. Teach nothing interesting

Basically, do some stupid ♥♥♥♥ like "how 2 walk!!" or "how 2 look around". Yeah, really. It's that easy. Told you an ape could do this one. That's your topic. Now it's time to...

F. Fill it with nothing

Yeah. You heard that right. Just write something like "hold w to walk" or "buy a 400-dollar computer and explode it and you can look guys!!" It's that simple. Optionally, you can actually have a step-by-step guide on how to do something simple. It's super funny when you deconstruct these basic simple tasks, right? (wait a minute...)

U. Underestimate steam users entirely.

It's said most Steam users are little kids. I mean, look at TF2. Let's forget about the people who aren't absolutely retarded. Yeah. We're zeroing in on the twelve-year-olds in the audience. The little kids who think that saying "i'm being ironic!!" after saying some extremely stupid ♥♥♥♥ is going to immediately exempt them from criticism. That's mostly the type of person who plays any public GMod server anyway, so we're fine in that department.

Now you understand 90% of GMod's guides.

As you can see, S.T.F.U is a full-blown idiot-proof strategy to marketing to unfunny 13 year olds. Or stupid people. Like, really stupid people. The kinds of people you can't believe actually exist, the ones you really wish were not being sincere and were faking it the whole time. Yeah. Those people. Mostly 13 year olds, though. Seriously, it's this easy. It's like jangling keys at this point, just write stupid """"ironic"""" guides and all the little kiddies will flock to it like flies on ♥♥♥♥...

Closing Remarks

Now that you're armed with knowledge, you can finally go out and tell the masses how to walk and how to jump. You have truly become the funniest human being, with little to no effort!

But guess what? There are about a bajillion other people ready to do the exact same thing.

So now not only are you the funniest human being, you will quickly lose this title as your guide "how to walk" is immediately replaced by some other idiot's "how to walk" guide. How dare they steal your title?! Go retaliate and make another one! That'll last long...

It's almost like you're not very original or something and generic GMod 12 year old #69185710 will laugh at basically any of these. Seriously, I've seen books made for 6 year olds that are more interesting than these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ guides. (i guess that's saying something about the reading level of most people who play gmod)

Not like writing a whole guide about it and immediately getting slammed because """it's satire and ironic!!!"""" is gonna change anything. And honestly? I'm fine with that. I just really wanted to write this, because it sure took more effort than just writing about "how to [thing]" and all it is is just "1. press [button]".

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about things for hours doesn't exactly change the problem, but then again, someone probably already wrote something way better than this. And I'm probably not going to be the last to complain. This ♥♥♥♥ will die out eventually and probably already has so the best you can do is ignore it. That's how most trends work. (i mean these ARE troll guides, but just because you mean it as trolling doesn't mean someone else doesn't see it as instant free points)

At the very least, it seems more that these are starting to become the minority and less plastered everywhere, which is nice. I mean, they ARE still ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ everywhere and infesting the guides section like herpes, but it seems to have calmed down just a bit. When a joke becomes overused, it becomes unfunny. Just like these guides! (wonder if ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about troll guides is gonna become the new meta..?)


Oh, and one last thing. If you argue in the comments, I had sexual intercourse with your mother last night. Boom. Argument destroyed. Get pwned, n00b. I win. Instantly. 1000-0. You lose. Obliterated. Pure ownage. No coming back from that. Goodbye.

FIN

[sillycat]

nice one muscule man

[pizzataph]

my mom!!!!!!

[pizzataph]

you know who else left chat filter on?

[sillycat]

i aint gonna make fun of ye

[Radixerus]

You left chat filter on when you wrote this. None of your curse words are visible.

[♡~ℤ𝕚𝕡~♡]

but it also means shut the fuck u-

[♡~ℤ𝕚𝕡~♡]

nawwwwwww S.T.F.U actually workeddddd

[pizzataph]

i wont answer

[sillycat]

i might ask whats on your pfp